Wraith(41)

I was starting to feel more composed by the time we got to the King’s Old Building. There was less than five hours until midnight when Gabriel and I would make our move. If it took my bloody death to resolve this, then I’d go happily. I was even starting to look forward to the prospect of escaping the goblins and thwarting their plans, despite the obvious peril.

I had no idea what Gabriel was thinking. Whatever brief amusement he’d exuded as I’d exchanged words with Ghrashbreg had vanished and his expression was now inscrutable. The way he marched forward with a stiff spine and clenched fists suggested intense anger. As far as I was concerned, he could keep his thoughts to himself but as soon as the door closed behind us, he was obviously determined to do anything but that.

‘What the fucking hell was that all about?’ He grabbed my shoulders and glared into my eyes.

I was shaken by his rage. ‘Excuse me?’

‘You know exactly what I'm referring to, Saiya. What were you doing sneaking around that building? You were fooling nobody. Don't you realise the danger you put yourself in?’

I pulled away from him and put my hands on my hips, mirroring his ferocity. ‘Danger? Danger?’ My voice rose. ‘You dare to talk to me of danger?’ I raised a hand in the air, extended my index finger and twirled it before tugging on my earlobe to remind him that we were probably being eavesdropped upon.

Gabriel emitted a low growl, a primeval sound that affected me in ways I didn't dare to think about too closely. He opened his mouth to speak, frustration obvious on his face, then cast his eyes up to the ceiling and tempered his words.

‘Stirling Castle is ruled by the goblins,’ he said in a tone laden with equal measures of both ice and fire. ‘And Stirling city is ruled by the goblins too. You might be my Fior Ghal but that does not mean you have the key to this damn castle. You cannot wander around it and expect not to be challenged. I don't care how interested you are in gold brocade or pretty embroidery. Even I wouldn't dare nosey around goblin rooms.’

‘Nosey around? I was interested!’ I threw my hands in the air. ‘Unlike you, I'm from this city. I have every right to admire the furniture. It's more mine than it is yours.’

‘The furniture belongs to the goblins,’ he retorted. ‘They control this place.’

Much like they control life and death, I thought. My life; Marrock's death. A tear rolled down my cheek. I wasn't sure who was more taken aback, me or Gabriel. He stepped towards me, concern etched into his expression. I stepped back, indicating I didn't want him to touch me, and dashed the tear away.

‘Just how many babies am I supposed to give you before you’ll leave me alone?’ I demanded.

Gabriel stared at me.

‘Tell me,’ I said. ‘Or is my role to keep on getting pregnant over and over again until my body gives way or the menopause kicks in?’

‘Saiya,’ he said slowly, ‘what on earth are you talking about?’

‘This freaking Fior Ghal business,’ I said. ‘The reason you're so determined that I don’t do anything to put myself into jeopardy.’

His brow furrowed as if he still didn’t understand me. ‘Saiya?’ he said again. ‘What do you—?’

‘Shut up!’ I yelled. Every turbulent emotion I was feeling was flung into those two words. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I didn't normally act like this. I didn't normally feel like this.

‘I can't answer your question unless you let me speak,’ Gabriel said calmly, which infuriated me even more.

I ground my teeth. Bloody Gabriel de Florinville with his rock-hard body, his perfectly chiselled lips and his ability to get under my skin in a way no one ever had before. I folded my arms. ‘Fine,’ I snapped. ‘Talk.’

He gave me a long, considering look. ‘All the times that I imagined my Fior Ghal, I never thought she would be like you,’ he said softly. ‘The fire and anguish inside you is almost unbearable to watch. All I want to do is take away your pain and make your life better. I want you to stop flinching every time I come close. I want you to learn to trust me, Saiya.’ He spoke my name like a caress but I didn’t want to be caressed; I wanted to scream and punch something.

Gabriel stepped backwards as if affording me the space I craved. ‘What do you think a Fior Ghal is?’ he asked carefully.

‘Marrock told me,’ I said, my voice catching on his name. Another tear escaped and this time I didn't bother brushing it away. ‘I'm supposed to have your babies. Supposedly I'm the only one in the world fertile enough for your damned sperm. My role is to incubate Dark Elf children and populate Scotland with more of your kind.’ I glared at him. ‘Go on then, tell me I'm wrong.’

Gabriel watched me silently for a few seconds then heaved a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. ‘It makes more sense now,’ he muttered. ‘I assumed you knew what a Fior Ghal was. I should have done this differently – I should have done it all so differently.’ He sighed again. ‘It is true that you are the only woman in the world able to bear my children.’

I opened my mouth to speak but he gestured at me to let him finish.

‘However, there is far more to it than that. Each Dark Elf has only one Fior Ghal, the person they are destined to spend their life with. We use the word Fior Ghal but what we really mean is soul mate. It's not about procreation; it’s not even about the joy of sex. It's about a far deeper connection than that.’ His eyes beseeched me. ‘Don't deny it, Saiya. I know you feel the same connection when I touch you. That's why you're so scared of it. You feel like I do. There is no one else in this world for me and there’s no one else in this world for you. Fate means us to be together. Our lives are written in the stars. Our passion, our feelings, our love, are all unquenchable. The only thing that will ever make me truly happy,’ he said with a hint of desperation, ‘is making you truly happy.’

I wrapped my arms tightly around my body. The space between us felt like a chasm. ‘You are saying,’ I said slowly, ‘that a Fior Ghal is a soul mate.’ The words didn’t compute.

‘No,’ he replied. ‘Not a soul mate. The soul mate. My soul mate. You're the only one for me.’ He gave a faltering breath. ‘It's not supposed to be this hard,’ he said. ‘The hard part is supposed to be finding your Fior Ghal, not convincing them that’s who they are.’

‘How do you know this is true?’ I ignored the tremor in my voice. ‘How do you know this isn't just biology telling you that you want to have sex with me so that I will have your child? Once I'm impregnated, your job will be done,’ I said bitterly. ‘Once I’ve popped out a baby, my role will be over.’

‘It's not like that,’ he growled. His dark eyes swept over my body. ‘I'll prove it to you.’ He stepped towards me, his body stiff with resolve.

I swallowed my fear. ‘What are you doing?’

‘I'm going to prove to you how much we are meant to be together.’ He took another step towards me.

I backed up until my spine pressed against the wall. ‘Don't you dare touch me,’ I hissed.

‘I promise I will not lay a finger on you,’ he said, ‘until you beg.’ His eyes gleamed, his earlier frustration replaced with desire coupled with determination. No way. This was not happening.

‘That's not going to happen.’ I wished I felt as confident as I sounded.

‘After you have begged me to touch you,’ he said, as if I hadn’t spoken, ‘I will make you scream in a way that no man has ever done before.’

I was a wraith – I hated being touched. Supposedly. I'd never been with a man who had made me scream before because I'd never been with a man but I wasn't going to tell him that. ‘We can’t do this,’ I insisted.

‘Of course we can.’ He reached me.

I had no clue what he was planning to do. I banked down the temptation to feel his hands, his lips, his body on me, and gazed at him with sad eyes. Marrock, I mouthed.

Whatever Gabriel had been about to do, I stopped him in his tracks. The flames of desire in his dark eyes were replaced by something different; it looked like a flash of hurt replaced quickly by anger. Then it occurred to me that it wasn't anger that Gabriel was feeling, it was jealousy. He had completely misunderstood my meaning when I’d brought up Marrock’s name.

I met Gabriel's eyes, my own gaze unwavering, then I slowly drew one finger across my throat. He looked confused for a moment before he realised what I meant. His eyes widened as if requesting urgent confirmation and I nodded.

Gabriel staggered back slightly and his shoulders dropped. It was one thing to know theoretically what the goblins were capable of; it was another to learn that it had happened to someone you knew. Gabriel de Florinville was finally beginning to see what it meant to live in Stirling under goblin siege and goblin rule. Part of me wished I could erase the knowledge from his eyes and part of me wanted to reach out and hug him.

He spun away back to the desk, opened a drawer then another and another. In our brief absence, it appeared that someone had been inside the room and removed all the paper and pens. Whether they had realised what we had been up to or they were guarding against future notes, I couldn't say. I wondered what else was missing. The goblins’ actions sent shivers down my spine.