He gave me a wink. “If I bees telling you all my secrets, yous might not think me so interesting. Little Zane and I went for a visit to me family in Ireland. ‘Tis safe, don’t be worrying your head.” His smile faded as he looked at me. “What’s happened, lassie?”
“Liam’s dead.” Two words and yet they were surreal to me, like a language I couldn’t understand.
The brownie stumbled backward. “No. Not the wolf.”
I kept a tight rein on my grief as it surged upward. “I need to know if you can hear me anywhere I go.”
He shook his head, his eyes glittering with tears. I had to look away.
“No, I can’t. Why?”
“I have a safe place for Zane, so I guess you need to bring him to me now.”
Charlie didn’t ask any more questions, just disappeared through the doorway, and within moments was back with a sleeping Zane. I slipped the fire opal over the little boy’s neck and tucked it against his skin. Flying with Blaz was going to be bitching cold and I didn’t want to take the chance on the newborn, no matter how strong a witch he might be one day.
Alex watched us mount, his eyes mournful and hurting as he waved a floppy paw at me. In that moment, I almost let him come with me. Almost.
Blaz leapt into the sky.
Where are we going?
Coyote pointed to where the sun rose on the horizon. “East.”
Erik sat in front of me and I leaned forward into his back, blocking the worst of the wind from Zane’s tiny face. East, somewhere in the east. The unknown awaited me and it scared the shit out of me. Without Liam I felt adrift, and yet he was right. He hadn’t left me, and I wasn’t alone.
I took a steadying breath and lifted my head. Our child needed me to be strong, needed a mother who would fight to her dying breath to protect him or her. Erik reached back and touched my hand.
“You are strong enough, Rylee. Even for this.”
I squeezed his fingers, a sense of understanding sweeping over me. Giselle always said things happened for a reason, even if we didn’t understand them at the time, even if they seemed to be the worst thing imaginable. Well, here we were, my worst fear played out and yet … there was hope.
“I know,” I said, my voice soft, words carried away by the wind. “Much as I hate to say it, I know.”
Rylee left without saying goodbye. Everything in me twisted up; there was only one reason she would have done that. She knew I’d killed Liam. I found my way to my room and fell into my bed. A crinkle of paper brought my head up and my fingers wrapped around a single sheet of paper.
Pam, I have to go away for a little while. I can’t tell you why. Stay here with Doran, look out for the others. Be brave, I’ll be back. See if you can get Deanna to teach you. I love you, kid. Don’t ever forget it.
Rylee
I folded the paper up and tucked it under my pillow. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew the truth. You wouldn’t love me then.”
There was a knock on my bedroom door and Doran stood there. “Even if she knew the truth, it wouldn’t change how she feels. You’re family; you did what you had to do. We all did.”
Doran was one of the three who knew what I’d done, so that was easy for him to say.
Inside my heart, I knew she would never be able to forgive me. The pain and grief turned into a bitter gall I could barely breathe around. Doran left when I would say nothing else, and I turned to the only thing I was good at. My magic.
I made small swirls in the air, killed a few bugs that dared float into my room and felt immensely better. Their deaths were minor in the scheme of things, but still, I felt better for them having been annihilated.
Winding my way through the old house, I killed every bug I could find. Then the mice and rats, and even a few bats that had taken up residence. With each death, my own grief slid away. No one was safe in this world; the darkness would take everyone eventually….
A distant pang in my heart tried to warn me this was what Giselle had meant, this was what I would face.
This, what was happening to me, was the darkness rising.
Pushing that voice away, I squared my shoulders. No one would hurt me or my family again.
Not ever.
Not even if it meant I had to embrace the darkness.