“We’re going, kid. Kyle, you okay?”
“Yeah.” That was all he managed and I wasn’t about to ask more at that particular moment. He looked as bedraggled and done in as I felt.
We wove our way out of the ship as it tipped even further into the harbor. Lucky for us, the boat listed so that once we were on deck, all we had to do was hop across the railing and we were standing on the dock. Solid ground beneath us. Kinda.
Amelia threw my coat at me even though the snow was still coming down. “I will see you in jail for this.”
I caught my coat with one hand, but didn’t put it on. It was still warm, or warmish, from her body and I wondered if she cared that I’d almost died in there. That all of us had almost died and it was a miracle only Robert, my dad, hadn’t made it out.
I knew my brain was stalling, filling with other things so I didn’t look at my mom and start crying right there. A part of me was amazed she still had so much power over me, could still cut me to the quick.
And then something shifted in me and my spine stiffened. A memory of the desert and the very first salvage I did on my own surfaced. Reminding me of the strength it had taken to face down someone I thought had loved me when I realized he had been a total shit. That had been the turning point for me; how could I go back to that girl who was still so eager to please that she would give up everything? That’s right, I wasn’t going there again. Not. Ever. Not even for my mom.
“You fucking well do that, Amelia. I didn’t kill Berget, and I sure as hell didn’t kill my dad. You saw everything that happened in there, you almost got possessed by a demon and I SAVED YOUR ASS!”
My voice echoed across the docks and Amelia shrunk away from me. But I wasn’t done.
“You didn’t deserve to have me or Berget.” Okay, that was a seriously low blow, but it felt so fucking good to finally say it. To turn on your child when they needed you the most, and give up on the other? No, that wasn’t a mother. At least, not a good one.
My rag tag group hobbled down the dock, each passing Amelia as though she didn’t exist.
Amelia didn’t try to catch up with us, and I didn’t really care. At the far end of the dock where the true dry land met with the wooden pilings there was a flash of bright blonde hair. Berget stepped out to meet us just as Amelia ran up from behind.
“Rylee, don’t you turn your back on me—”
Amelia’s voice died as she spied Berget, who had also gone very still.
Well shit, it really had nothing to do with me now at all. I’d said my peace and for the first time felt the past slide away from me, no longer tugging at my emotions. I ignored Amelia and kept walking.
Berget looked like she’d swallowed a hunk of troll flesh and was about to throw it back up. “I thought she’d be gone.”
I shrugged but said nothing, felt nothing as I walked past her. Berget’s hand snaked out and she grabbed me. “Don’t leave me with her.”
As she asked, I stopped. Pamela let out a deep breath. “Let me try and stand on my own.”
Letting go of her, I slipped my coat back on, the scent of Amelia’s perfume floating up and around my nose. It didn’t make me nostalgic anymore, just ill.
“Berget, my baby, is that really you?” Amelia stumbled forward and I felt more than a little voyeuristic, and just a tad bit jealous. I couldn’t help it; who wouldn’t want their mother to love them?
Berget stepped back and shook her head, drawing herself up, and every jealous thought I had evaporated. “You aren’t my mother. My mother would have loved Rylee when she was in her darkest moments. She would have stood by her and kept searching for me. You might be the person who gave birth to me, but it has always been Rylee who loved me best. She was the only one who never gave up on me.”
Amelia put a hand to her throat and her body shook. “I thought she killed you.” What I found interesting was that she didn’t say that she loved Berget, didn’t beg for forgiveness. No, she went right to me again.
Berget glared at her. “No, you just wanted someone to blame. Someone who didn’t look back at you in the mirror.”
With that, Berget turned her back on our mother and took my hand. “Don’t let her get to you. She’s wrong about everything.” Her eyes, though, were clouded. Hundreds of years of wisdom might have been stored in her head, but she was still a teenager, still trying to figure out life and the blows it handed us. Still fighting to keep control of herself.
My fingers tightened over hers. “Let’s go, everyone is waiting for us and we have shit to do.”
We left Amelia on the docks, on her knees watching her two children disown her as they walked out of her life for good.