She nodded in answer.
“You okay?”
Another nod.
“Was the detective too rough? I can say something if she was.”
This time a shake of the head.
Fear that he’d lost her climbed his spine with what must have been a pickax and climbing cleats, starting at his tailbone and scaling one vertebra for every nonanswer he received. “You have to talk to me.”
She stared at him.
“Grace, please. I know what you saw in there had to be terrifying. It terrified me. I was so scared he’d pull the trigger before I could take the gun away, but then you started to talk to him. You defied us both and wouldn’t turn around, wouldn’t stop pushing. You probably saved my life.” He unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt and whipped his chin to the side, popping his neck. “Hell, I’m certain you saved my life. And then, when you insisted on rolling over? I thought I was going to totally lose my mind. All that went through my mind was that I had to stop Gavin. I couldn’t leave you, couldn’t risk that being your last memory of me. But when I got the gun, I sort of, um, lost my temper.” He waited, but she just stared at him. “That was exactly the way I never wanted you to see me. I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry?” she croaked.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. She was going to call it quits. It registered it in the distance that grew between them, in the absolute way he was floundering to find his footing with her. No way could he let her go. “You said you love me,” he answered, voice gruff. “Don’t give up on me, Grace.”
“Give up.” She leaned forward.
He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up to stand. “Damn it, talk to me! Please. I’m not above getting down on my knees, begging in front of all these people.”
She closed her eyes. “Don’t.”
“Look at me.”
She shook her head.
“Look at me, Grace.” He rand his hands down her arms, gripping her fingers. “Please.” Slowly, so slowly he was sure he’d lose his mind, she lifted her face to his. “What do you want from me?” he asked fervently. “How do I fix this?”
“That’s just the point. You can’t fix it. You shouldn’t. You wanted me to see you for who you are. I have now. You’re meant to do this, here, but I’ve worked so hard to leave this very thing behind. You would have to promise me you wouldn’t bring it home, but that would be a lie. You can’t make that promise. ”
His heart ached. “No, I can’t. I can’t control what might happen, can’t predict what madness from my past might resurface.” He cupped her face, resting his forehead against hers. “What I can promise you is this. Breakfast in bed every Sunday morning. Season tickets to the Seahawks. Friendship. No dirty underwear on the floor. Shared household chores.” He kissed her nose. “A house someday. A puppy.”
“You’re bribing me with a puppy?”
“If it worked, I’d bribe you with a damn three-ring circus,” he said fervently.
“Why?”
“Because this is where you belong, too. I may understand people’s ugliness, but you bring them hope. Just look at what you’ve accomplished. You’re free.”