Worth the fight(24)

He shakes his head from side to side but his head is down and I can’t see his face to read what he’s feeling. Standing my ground, I don’t move from my spot as he walks back to me, completely invading my personal space. He looks down at me, his eyes are still half-mast from our encounter and I gulp finding my mouth suddenly dry from the way he’s looking at me. “Saturday night. I’ll make you dinner.” He looks up at me to gauge my reaction. “Bring a bag because I’m not letting you go next time.”

The swell between my legs that was ebbing, flows back at a rapid pace. “Okay.” My voice cracks as I respond with a whisper.

Nico lifts my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. “Okay?” Even though he told me what I was doing this weekend, he still wants confirmation.

My eyes don’t waiver as I respond. I force my voice louder. “Okay.”

Nico smiles like I’ve just given him a prize he really wanted, and it’s contagious. Mirroring his enthusiasm, I can’t help but smile back. He takes my hand and grabs my bag and another bag that I’m all too familiar with. Take out.

His hand reaches for the door and he pauses. “We can’t eat in here or I can’t promise I will control myself. You look so damn sexy in that suit and the way you smell makes me lose control.”

***

We eat our lunch in a small lunchroom that’s open to the gym and I walk Nico through the main points of the contract termination I’ve brought him. He’s forgoing a multi-million dollar endorsement payout and has to give back a substantial amount of money he’s already been advanced. If it bothers him at all, he does a good job not letting it show.





Chapter 18


Elle

Saturday morning I call my mom to check in. I feel guilty I don’t call often enough, but sometimes I just need to try to block out that part of my life. It’s not my mom’s fault that I can’t separate her from the past that haunts me. I don’t mean to, but so much is deeply interwoven that it’s hard to take the good out from a web of bad memories.

Four years of therapy helped me to start to live again, and these days I really think I’m doing it. Guilt for not feeling regret had me stuck in a bad place, but most days I think I’ve moved on. Most days.

Mom and I spend ten minutes catching up and then the conversation moves to William. She casually asks how he is and is surprised when I tell her that we recently stopped seeing each other. I don’t mention that I’ve started seeing someone because I’m not in the mood for the third degree. Not today. I wouldn’t lie to her if she asked, but I know she would ask whether I’ve shared my past with him or not. For some reason she seems to think that telling people about the worst day of my life is cathartic. Perhaps it would be, but I wouldn’t know since I’ve never told a living soul outside of my weekly group meetings. Sure, lots of people know. But those are the people that read the headlines. They didn’t hear it from my lips.

After I hang up, I spend an hour trying to figure out what to wear to Nico’s. The outside layer of clothing is the easy part. But I want to look sexy without my clothes on. It dawns on me that I’ve never been concerned over what I wore for William. Not even in the beginning. Perhaps I should have been, but there’s no use dwelling on that now. Whatever the reason, I feel the need to please Nico Hunter. I’ve never felt that way with another man. A few weeks ago, if a woman would have told me that she dressed to please her man, I probably would have thought she was pitiful. But the way that Nico looks at me makes me high. It’s like a drug I crave desperately to have again. His pleasure is my reward, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to earn it.

I’m honest with myself about how I feel, but it doesn’t make me accept my own reaction to the man any easier. I’m torn between giving in to what feels so right and chastising myself for acting like a weak little girl.

I manage to get a few hours of work in during the afternoon. My workweek is always six days, but with Leonard out it’s pushing seven. A half day today and possibly no work tomorrow will make my Monday brutal, but I’ll care about that Monday.

I arrive at his building on time. The only two times I’ve been on time to anything in the last year have both involved Nico Hunter. Even I can’t chalk that up to coincidence. As I make my way to the door, I’m nervous and fidgety. Anticipation wreaks havoc on my ability to multitask and I don’t even notice he’s standing in the doorway, as I fumble in my purse to put away my keys while walking.

“Hey, beautiful.” His voice is low and sexy, but it scares the shit out of me nonetheless, because I hadn’t realized anyone was there.