His Mia had never been afraid before. She’d fallen in love with abandon. It was his fault she was afraid now.
So he’d given her the space she asked for, but he didn’t know how much longer he could wait. He needed her. To touch her, kiss her, make her smile. That’s what he wanted more than anything else, to make Mia smile again.
In a way, the time apart was good, a forced easing into things. They’d jumped that first night at his house. Then when he’d made love to her at hers, it had been more about comfort than her choosing and trusting. And that’s what he wanted, her trust. It might have taken him these months to be sure he could have it without hurting her, but he was sure now.
In addition to that, his sister was getting married, God help him. At least McKinney’d had enough sense to discuss it with him before popping the question.
Nick stepped into the barn just in time to see Stephen lip-locked with Hannah. He cleared his throat.
Stephen turned, and the two men exchanged nods. “Detective.”
“Not a detective, and do you always have to be here when I’m here?”
“I was just thinking the same thing,” McKinney said. “And I was here first.”
“Boys, boys.” Hannah moved from her fiancé to hug her brother. “Hey. I didn’t know you were back.”
“For a day.”
“How’s the case?”
“Good. Just about wrapped up. I’m just here to report. Should be completely finished in another week.”
“That’s good. I missed you. See what happens when you’re not standing over my shoulder every second?” She hugged him again and kissed his cheek before pulling back.
Stephen held up a bag. “I’ll put your lunch in the office. I also brought my fiancée lunch,” he added with a smirk at Nick.
“See how sweet he is? He’ll sit in there, make some calls so you and I can talk.”
“Yeah. So sweet. Everything good?”
“Yes. Good and busy. Wedding plans and—oh my gosh!—Halloween. You should have seen Halloween at the McKinneys’.” She laughed. “Or maybe not. It was kind of insane, in a good way. You remember Gracie, Matt’s daughter. I think you met them here once.”
“Yeah.” He’d seen her—a five-year-old with curling pigtails and hot-pink boots she loved to clomp on the wood floor. And he remembered the way Matt swung her into his arms.
It seemed Hannah was always talking about the McKinneys, what they were doing, a birthday party, or an outing. And why shouldn’t she? She’d slid right in, and he knew she loved every crazy, loud minute. She finally had what he’d always wanted for her: a horde of women who would be sisters. And McKinney’s mom, who treated her like she was her own.
“She was a bunch of grapes, and her costume was all these purple balloons, which Jack couldn’t help but want to pop.” She laughed softly. “Guess you had to be there.”
“Sounds cute.” He hadn’t thought about having children of his own in a long, long time. Not since he was with Mia. Since she’d told him about the baby they lost, he thought about it all the time.
His heart clenched. If his and Mia’s baby had been a girl, she’d be almost eleven years old now.
Would she have had dark eyes and hair like Mia? He would have loved that. He’d have brought her out here, taken her riding, maybe bought her a little horse of her own. Taught her to ride a bike and taken her fishing in the little stream that ran through the woods. He didn’t even know if there were fish in there, but that wouldn’t have mattered. Or maybe they’d have had a boy, he thought with another pang. He might have had a son.
Everywhere he looked, there were kids running or women with babies. Men at work talking kids or pregnant wives caught his attention. Even watching TV was a constant reminder. He imagined those were all painful reminders for Mia as well. Like the world around her refused to let her forget what she’d lost. Their baby, then again with Savannah. He wished he’d gotten a chance to meet her. Hold her and see Mia holding her.
Hannah looked at her watch. “Give me a minute. I need to get Hazel ready for my next appointment.” She took a nylon halter from the hook beside her and walked out the back of the barn.
He started to follow until he heard McKinney exit the office behind him.
“She wants us to be friends,” McKinney said, coming to stand beside him.
“Friends is pushing it.”
“That’s what I said, but that’s what she wants, and I want her to be happy.”
Nick gave him a sideways glance. “Like I don’t?”
“Trust me. I’m no more happy about it than you.”