Worth the Wait (McKinney_Walker #1)(60)

Ten years ago, she’d walked out of his kitchen sure he would come after her. Positive he would finally open up and let her in and that in time, the black space of guilt and anger inside him would heal. After two days, she went by the house, disappointed and more than a little scared but needing to see Hannah. And if Nick was home, they would talk; if he wasn’t, she’d wait.

She’d cook dinner, pick up after everyone, pay bills. All those external things until she could reach inside him to what really mattered. What she found was Zach standing among a scattering of moving boxes. Hannah sat silently on the couch, staring at an old black-and-white movie on the TV.

“Hey, guys.” She dropped the bags of groceries she’d picked up on the kitchen counter. She plopped down beside Hannah and kissed the top of her head before forcing herself to look at Zach. He was unusually quiet. “Doing some cleaning out?” Zach, the consummate bachelor, spent most nights at the firehouse. He wouldn’t have much to clean out.

“No. I’m packing up.”

“Are you moving?” Her gaze tracked to the hallway, where a wall of boxes was stacked. The knot swelled in her chest. “Zach?” If her voice shook a little, it was just because she hadn’t been sleeping well. If her heart pounded, it was just because she was nervous about her talk with Nick. But a boulder-sized knot settled in her stomach.

Zach ripped off a line of packing tape and smoothed it across the cardboard seam. “You should talk to Nick.”

“Nick’s not here. I’m talking to you.”

He wouldn’t look at her, and for the first time since she’d known him, he looked guilty—and embarrassed. The fact that she didn’t have a clue what was going on was painful for both of them.

“Zach?”

“Nick’s boss thought it would be good for him to get a change of scenery. Get some distance.”

“Nick mentioned his boss’s idea, but he was totally against it. His boss hadn’t forced the issue. Is he forcing it now?”

Again, Zach avoided her, stood with the box, and pushed it across the room with his foot. Zach was tall and wide shouldered, and at twenty-seven, he was a well-respected lieutenant at the firehouse. He was still the one with a joke and a quick smile, but she worried about the pain he hid underneath. Nothing significant could happen to one piece of the family without affecting all the others.

Mia took Hannah’s hand, seeking comfort and holding on to the girl she loved. Hannah didn’t look at her. She rarely gave any sign she noticed Mia was there.

“Look,” Zach finally said. “All I know is he came by the firehouse and ran this by me, asked me what I thought, if I’d come with them.” He shrugged and reached for another box. “It’s not so hard for me to get a transfer. What do I care?”

He would care a great deal, she thought. Just because he didn’t take life too seriously didn’t mean he didn’t have ties, friends, connections.

“I’ll be joining them in a few weeks.”

“Where?”

Zach looked away. Did he not want to tell her? Did he think it would be breaking some kind of confidence by telling the woman who’d been with his brother for thirteen years where he was moving without discussing it with her? She felt herself begin to unravel and bit down on her lip. “Where?”

“Norfolk.”

She barely registered the answer, because before the words were uttered, she’d realized it didn’t matter. He was leaving, and he hadn’t even told her. Because they weren’t a couple anymore? It was more than she could take. With her heart in her throat she stood.

“You okay?” Zach reached out a hand to steady her. The boy she’d known since he was fifteen had grown into a man. Still, she saw the teenager she’d kept stocked with Little Debbies and reminded constantly about condoms. For his sixteenth birthday, she’d tried to make his favorite chocolate sheet cake exactly like is mother had. All six feet and three inches of man child had cried on her shoulder like a baby for the parents he’d lost, letting her see his sadness in a way he couldn’t with his stoic older brother.

She almost couldn’t bear to look at Hannah as she bent to kiss her cheek. She needed to get away before she broke. She kissed Zach’s cheek quickly and nearly ran to the kitchen. There’d be time to get her stuff later. Time for goodbyes.

She reached for her purse and paused. “When?” she asked without turning around.

“There’s, um… an opening now that needs to be filled. A guy headed for retirement went out early, and they’re shuffling people, so…”