Like a bolt of lightning, she’d flashed back into his life without warning. No, not my life, he reminded himself. My sister’s life. Behind his back and without a word for him. The only woman he’d ever loved seemed to be back in his life without even bothering to tell him. “How long have you been seeing Hannah?”
“I don’t give out information on my patients.”
“You didn’t think I should know she was seeing a psychiatrist?”
“I’m a therapist.”
“You’re a doctor.”
“I was, a surgeon, I’m not anymore. And no, I didn’t think you had a right to know. She’s a grown woman, Nick. Old enough to make her own decisions and be responsible for her own health. Mental and otherwise. Or do you still take her to the doctor for checkups?”
He ignored the dig, and though he wanted to know why she wasn’t a surgeon anymore, he made himself focus. “I want to know why she came to you and how she’s doing. Why didn’t you know she was going to—”
“Have a panic attack?”
“Yes. And why didn’t you know she’d had them before?”
“Because you still think people should know things before they happen?”
“That’s not what this is about.”
Mia shook her head. “That’s what it’s always been about.”
He felt the regret rising, but this was now, and he didn’t want to add even more. “Tell her not to see him anymore.”
“I won’t do that.”
He gaped at her. “Why the hell not?”
“Because I don’t think it’s what’s best for her.”
“And you think McKinney is good for her? How can you say that? She just had a panic attack after not having one for years.”
“That you know of.”
Right. Once again reminding him he didn’t know everything. “I don’t think it’s coincidence she had one now, after getting involved with him.”
“You’ll have to ask her. She’s twenty-six—”
“I know how old she is. And why the hell are you even seeing her? Isn’t that against your rules?”
“Normally, I wouldn’t see someone I know personally, but I made an exception. I wasn’t going to leave her hanging if she needed help, and she wouldn’t see anyone else. She really just needed someone to talk to.”
“Why didn’t she come to me? Talk to me? I’m always there for her. Always.”
“And what would you have said?”
“If she needed to see someone, I would have called. I would have found a doctor. I would have taken her.”
“I think that was the point.”
He stared at her, not getting the point.
“Because she didn’t want you to take her. Didn’t want you to make the call.”
“So…” He sighed, feeling like a failure all over again. “Is she okay?”
“You’ll have to ask her, but I’ll tell you this much and that’s all. I think she is. She had a nightmare, she remembered things, and it brought the past to the surface. If you want to know more, you’ll have to talk to her. Do you need to be worried? No. I don’t think so. You don’t have the right to know everything anymore. That is the sad truth, the double-edged sword of being a parent, I guess. They’re yours to take care of until one day you’re not allowed to anymore.”
Something wavered in her voice like she wasn’t only talking about him. He wanted to know what and why. Two people who’d slept together, touched every part of each other, and now struggled to even look each other in the eye. But that was a long time ago, a lifetime ago, even if it felt like yesterday. He ran his hands through his hair, taking a second to gather himself. “Why didn’t I know?”
“Hannah didn’t want—”
“Not about Hannah. Why didn’t I know about you? You’ve been here how long?”
“There was no way to talk to you without it being about Hannah. No reason to.”
“No reason to?” He took a step toward her, aching to reach out, then stopped, remembered she’d left him when he needed her most.
“And say what?” Emotion flared in her eyes. Anger. Hurt. She stood and came around her desk. “Did you have a reason? I haven’t been in hiding, Nick. I haven’t entered witness protection. Though you’re an FBI agent, so even if I had, I guess you still could have found me.” She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath like she wished she hadn’t said that. He knew her face well.
The next second she waved it off like she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Like it didn’t matter, like he couldn’t see the hurt in her eyes.