“That’s all right,” Kenzie spoke softly as she picked up the costume from the bed and shoved it into the back of the closet. She called it a Prince Charming costume. I called it a straight man’s nightmare with tights, sparkles, and puffy fucking sleeves. “If you don’t want to go trick-or-treating with us, it’s no big deal. I’ll take the twins and you can hand out candy here.”
Son of a bitch. I got the distinct impression that I was being manipulated. But damn if I wasn’t letting myself fall for it, hook, line, and sinker.
“Now hold on just a damn minute. I didn’t say I didn’t want to go trick-or-treating. I’d love to go. I just don’t want to have to dress up like a fruit loop to do it!”
“Prince Charming isn’t a fruit loop! He’s the ultimate ladies’ man,” Kenzie argued. “He’s the one who basically started the whole swoony male thing. I mean, without Prince Charming, all those fairytale chicks would have grown into old spinsters. Honestly, if you really think about it, the guy basically laid the foundation for men everywhere. Prince Charming created the woman’s ultimate fantasy guy.”
Damn the woman and her valid argument. Still didn’t mean I was cool with dressing up like an old-school douche. I’d never live it down. “I don’t know,” I whined. Yes, me, a grown-ass man was whining about wearing a friggin’ Halloween costume.
“Baby,” Kenzie said, walking over and placing a hand on my cheek. “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. If you aren’t comfortable dressing up like Prince Charming to go with Callie’s princess costume, that’s okay. I love you anyway.”
She looked so damn sincere as she said it that I couldn’t help but cave. “All right, beauty. If it’ll make you and ladybug happy, I’ll wear the costume.”
Kenzie let out a squeal as she jumped at me, wrapping her arms and legs around me like a monkey. “I knew you’d do it, honey,” she said as she planted kisses all over my face. “You’re such a good guy.”
A deep laugh rumbled up from my chest as soon as I realized what had just happened. “You totally played me, didn’t you?”
“Maybe.” She was just too fucking cute when she giggled that I couldn’t help but to forgive her.
“Christ, I’m such a sucker for my ladies.”
“Dude!” Luke shouted. “What the fuck are you wearing?”
“Watch your mouth!” I yelled back, hitting him upside the head with my plastic sword.
“Luke said a bad word. Luke said a bad word,” Callie and Cameron sing-songed as I hit him one more time.
“Why’d you have to invite everyone over?” I turned back to Kenzie, pouting like a giant pussy.
“The girls wanted to see the twins in their costumes,” she smiled innocently.
Emmy shot me a cheeky grin and said, “And we may or may not have found out what you were dressing up as and wanted to get photographic evidence to blackmail you with.”
Callie and Cameron had run from the living room to get their candy buckets so I was safe for a few choice words. “This is bullshit!” I whisper-yelled. Turning, I pointed my finger right at Kenzie. “Why do you get to be the pink Power Ranger and I’m stuck looking like an asshole?”
She propped her hands on her hips and narrowed my eyes at me. “Because Cameron wanted me to be a Power Ranger with him and Callie wanted you to be her Prince Charming. That a good enough reason for you?”
I let out a huff and several quiet choice words while all of our friends stood around laughing.
“You owe me,” I warned loud enough for only her to hear, my arms crossed over my chest. “I’m talking handing out blowjobs like lollypops. I look stupid.” My bottom lip may or may not have been poking out just a little bit as I spoke.
“Aww,” she cooed as she slid her hands up my chest and around my neck. I couldn’t lie; she was kind of rockin’ that pink Ranger outfit. I saw some role-playing in our future, for sure. “Poor baby. You’re so adorable when you’re all pouty and grumpy.”
“I’m not being pouty and grumpy,” I argued. “I’m being broody and aloof. Like a man.”
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that, baby,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Now, suck it up and let’s get our trick-or-treat on.”
After kicking everyone out of my house, Kenzie, the twins, and I took to the streets. I had to admit, I was having a hell of a time. Turned out, it wasn’t all that uncommon for parents to dress up with their kids. I even got a few nods and chin lifts from dad’s dressed just as douchy as I was. It was a weird kind of bonding moment for us men.