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Worth the Trouble(52)

By:Jamie Beck


“Don’t go getting your hopes up. If I agree, the most I’d consider would be a very casual, no-strings kind of thing. I know you don’t believe me, V, but I’m not looking for love.”

The waiter interrupted them to take their lunch order. After he left, Vivi began her inquisition. “Are you attracted to Hank?”

“Who isn’t attracted to Hank?”

“Don’t dodge. What I’m asking is, are you interested in a personal relationship with him?”

“It’s crossed my mind.” A hundred times or more, but that confession could be omitted.

“For how long?” Vivi thrust her pointer finger toward Cat. “Be honest!”

“I suppose since your wedding, when he saved me from making a big mistake—which I don’t wish to discuss.” Cat’s quelling glance caused Vivi to fall still. “I’ve gotten to know him better—his history, his family, his strength. He makes me feel like maybe he wouldn’t be disappointed that I’m nothing like the sex symbol splashed all over the magazines. Like maybe being myself would be good enough.”

“Being myself is exactly how I’ve always been with David. He appreciates me and all my quirks.” Vivi’s eyes sparkled with happy tears. “So, then, why limit yourself to a casual fling?”

“I doubt any fling is a good idea if we go into business together. It will only add complications. My life doesn’t need more complications.” She debated telling Vivi about her condition. Finally speaking about it with someone would be one step toward better accepting reality. She shifted in her chair, twitchy from her secret.

“Lots of couples run businesses together, so that excuse doesn’t fly.” Vivi huffed before sipping her iced tea. “Has Justin completely soured you on relationships?”

“No. It’s not about Justin.” Cat swallowed a gulp of wine to settle her nerves. She set the glass on the table and tapped her fingers in emphasis. “This is about me being realistic. Trust me, my future’s better served if I focus on work.”

Vivi clasped Cat’s hand. “Five years from now, which will be more meaningful, your career or a life and family with a man you love?”

“Not everyone can be like you and David. And who says I could love Hank, or he could love me?” She withdrew her hand from Vivi’s grasp, her mind replaying the family element of Vivi’s question. “But if I could love him, it would be kinder to turn him down.”

“You’re not making any sense.” Vivi pulled a lemon face.

Cat hesitated. Revealing her news in public was a gamble, but it would ensure the conversation didn’t drag on endlessly. Do it. “I want to tell you something, but I don’t want your pity.”

“When have I ever pitied you?” Vivi asked. “And why do you sound so ominous? Does David know whatever this is you’re about to tell me?”

“No. No one knows. I’m not even sure I should tell you, actually, and I know I’m not ready to tell my family.”

“More secrets?” She sat forward, eyes alert. “Did you get more of those darn letters?”

“It’s got nothing to do with that.” Cat frowned at the reminder of that troublesome topic. It had been a few weeks since the last letter, which meant it was only a few weeks longer until Justin’s restraining order expired. Coincidence? Cat stifled a shiver and returned to the subject at hand. “Promise you won’t make a scene or tell David?”

“I’m sure I’ll regret this, but yes, I promise.” Vivi chewed her lip. “But this is my last secret from David. I love you, but he’s my husband. Things are different now.”

“Fair enough.” She’d known Vivi’s love for David would eventually eclipse their friendship, as it should. Cat drew a long breath and exhaled slowly. “Remember how I’d been complaining about skipping all those periods after I went off the pill, but I still felt all PMS-y?”

“Because of the stress surrounding the fallout of Justin’s criminal case.”

“I wish it were something that minor.” She mindlessly refolded the napkin on her lap, buying time. “Unfortunately, it’s not, and there’s no cure.”

“No cure? Are you sick?” Vivi’s eyes immediately filled with tears. “Is it serious . . . is it cancer?”

“No, I don’t have cancer.” Cat smiled wryly. “I’ll be hounding you for years to come.”

“Oh, thank God.” Vivi pressed her fingers to her temples. “What, then?”

“Basically, it’s early menopause.” Cat took another breath, feeling surprisingly calm despite sharing her secret. “Given my family history with breast cancer, I was a little leery of the hormone replacement therapy, but at the specialist’s urging, I decided to take it and vitamin D, and will have to watch out for heart disease and put up with hot flashes and skin changes and all that stuff about twenty-five years ahead of schedule. The kicker, of course, is my chances of getting pregnant are pretty much zero.”