Hell.
Mom,
Menopausal at twenty-eight. Even you had a few more years before it struck, not to mention three kids.
I keep telling myself it could be worse—it isn’t fatal. But it feels like a fatal flaw. Hiding all of my imperfections is tiring, but what choice do I have? Image is everything in my business.
Without my image, I’m no one at all.
CHAPTER SIX
Cat removed her earphones, tossed the mail on the kitchen counter, and poured herself a tall glass of water. God, she hated running, especially on a muggy summer morning in the city. Unfortunately, at her age, she had to work twice as hard if she intended to compete.
Of course, after her recent reproductive endocrinology appointment confirming her premature ovarian failure, she resented keeping her so-called “perfect body” fit.
Absent significant intervention, donor eggs, and extremely good luck, her taut abs would never distend in pregnancy—her skin would not be riddled with stretch marks.
Don’t dwell.
She’d allowed herself a full day of crying about her unhappy fate: increased risk of osteoporosis and heart disease; potential for hair and tooth loss; the decisions to be made regarding the pros and cons of hormone therapy; not to mention the hot flashes, dryness, and other symptoms she’d probably experience sooner than later.
Of course, she still needed time to grieve the pregnancy she’d never experience, and the kids she’d never bear. Time to let go of that expectation of motherhood. Time to investigate and understand the other options like adoption and surrogacy. Only then would she be able to share this diagnosis with her family and handle whatever rejection she might confront from men. Until then, she’d cope. And until she could think about it and cope at the same time, she’d shove it aside.
Flopping onto a counter stool, she guzzled her drink while sorting through bills, junk mail, and magazines. Any distraction would do. While flipping through Elle, she studied what would likely be her last Estée Lauder ad.
She rubbed her index finger over the crease in her forehead to rub out the frown lines just as her phone rang. Her agent’s number appeared on the screen. Maybe Lauder offered her another contract after all.
“Hey Elise, please tell me you have good news.”
“Unfortunately, no. Lauder went with Kendall Jenner.” After a brief pause, she continued. “As we’ve discussed, the landscape for models is changing. You still have your couture work to keep you busy for a while, but you might need to start thinking in new directions before you age out of the print game.”
Twenty-eight and considered old. Of course, her body was aging out early, too. The soon-to-come symptoms wouldn’t help, either. After all, thinning hair, dry skin, and perspiration never photograph well.
“Do you have any suggestions?” Cat sucked down more water.
“Well, given Kendall’s recent coup, perhaps you should consider reality TV. Our agency’s been contacted about casting a host for a new fashion contest show. Or what about participating in the Bachelorette franchise? That show would probably pay well for a celebrity bachelorette.”
“Oh, no!” Cat’s career needed a life vest, but the absolute loss of privacy, not to mention the editing hatchet jobs she’d seen, made reality TV a nonstarter. The risks of them discovering and publicizing her medical condition were not worth any amount of fame or fortune. And a part of Cat—a new, growing part—wanted out of the limelight. Wanted a life and reputation built on something other than her beauty.
“Television would really bump your profile and relevance. A brief stint could help you secure another cosmetics deal or other TV guest appearances.”
“That merely delays the inevitable.” She decided to simply lead Elise in new directions without giving her the reasons. Swamped with a sense of urgency, she said, “I think it’s time to consider something lasting and stable, something new and challenging. I’m tired of always chasing contracts.”
“What about a licensing deal?”
Huh. That could be interesting. “How does that work?”
“Well, there still is some chasing involved, but you’d typically get a lump-sum payment up front, plus annual domestic and international royalties off the affiliated products.”
“Sounds intriguing. I’d need to give some thought to what products interest me.”
“Clothing and cosmetics would be natural fits. You’d have a built-in fan base to sell to.”
“Too common. And I’d still be competing against all the other models, actresses, and reality celebrities hawking those types of products.” Products that didn’t capture her interest—the thought of continuing to promote beauty as a virtue tasted sour. “I’d rather do something completely unexpected and different, like Kathy Ireland’s furniture empire.”