“She’s in a facility for now. Not sure when or if she’ll ever return home.”
Cat moved toward him but then stopped and linked her fingers together in front of her body. “I’m so sorry. I know it’s the last thing you wanted to have happen. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Come back.
“Not really. Turns out you were right. There really wasn’t anything I could do for her after all.”
Cat shook her head. “I was wrong to force you to choose. I panicked, and I let it get the better of me. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for the way I behaved.” Her mouth twitched into a grim smile. “I suppose it doesn’t surprise you. Seems I’m always having to apologize for my bad behavior.”
“Actually, I owe you an apology, too. I did make you promises I didn’t live up to, and I’m sorry I didn’t stop to consider what you needed that day.” He hesitated, unsure of how to proceed. He decided to take a page from her playbook and change the subject . . . ease into the conversation. “Jackson told me about the intervention.”
“It was unpleasant, but necessary.” Cat wrapped her arms around her waist. She gently twisted her torso side to side as if she were rocking an infant in her arms. That thought saddened him because, after reading her diary, he knew she believed she’d never be anyone’s mother. “I hope it works.”
“I think it did.” Hank waited to catch her eye. “He says he’s making some changes. Even asked me to step in for him while he takes off to figure stuff out.”
“What?” Cat’s eyes widened again, this time with alarm. “Taking off to where? How do we know he’s not running off just to get away from us and do whatever he wants?”
“I believe him. Between what happened with Doug, and Vivi and David’s big news, he sees the need to change. Don’t worry.”
“So you know about David and Vivi.” Cat straightened her spine and smiled, but he could see pain behind her eyes.
“Yes. It’s wonderful for them” His voice dipped. “But after reading about your diagnosis, I have to ask, how are you feeling? No one would blame you if it hurt a little.”
Her eyes met and held his for a few seconds. He kept his gaze steady and reassuring so she’d know he didn’t pity her. So she’d realize he wasn’t going anywhere, either.
“I’ll probably experience mixed emotions throughout her pregnancy, but I won’t let it interfere with their happiness.” Cat’s rueful smile tugged at his heart. “Don’t worry about me. I’m tougher than I look. By the time the baby arrives, I’ll be fully ready to be a loving aunt.”
Hank ached to comfort her. To figure out how to lessen her sorrow. But first he needed to convince her that he didn’t care about her diagnosis and that he wouldn’t regret that decision—ever. “Can I sit?”
“Sure.” She sat in a chair, fidgeting with her hands and the hem of her shirt. “Would you like something to drink?”
“No, thanks.” Hank shook his head and cleared his throat. He tugged at his shirt collar because, despite the air-conditioning, his body temperature spiked about ten degrees. “Listen, I’m going to say what I came here to say, and I want you to hear me out. Really hear me.”
Cat nodded and sat on her hands.
“First of all, thank you for trusting me with your journal. After the way things ended, I don’t think I deserved it. I’ve chewed myself out many times since leaving Chicago, but didn’t know what to do or say. After getting that text from you, I decided to give you the out you seemed to want.
“Second, I want you to know I didn’t read everything in your diary. I only read the pages since Vivi’s wedding. Now I understand why you looked so fragile that weekend, why you drank so much, and a big part of the reason why you’ve been pushing me away. I wish you’d have felt safe telling me the truth sooner. Maybe then I could’ve convinced you that you aren’t any less of a woman in my eyes just because you can’t have kids. If you believe nothing else I have to say, know that you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing.
“I know you think you did me a favor by walking away. And one day I might’ve found and loved some other woman, but she’d never be you. She wouldn’t dream big dreams for herself and everyone else she cared about. She wouldn’t try to have it all, or push me to my limits. She wouldn’t challenge me when I was wrongheaded, or tease me just to push my buttons, or teach me that the only way to have a life worth living is to create it myself instead of waiting for it to happen.” He cocked his eyebrow and grinned. “And she sure wouldn’t be a woman with your sexy lingerie.”