When he finally spoke, his words were barely audible. “I’d already be a dad if Alison hadn’t aborted our child. But she didn’t love me. She didn’t want to marry me. And she didn’t want to be a mother.”
Cat and David gasped, but Vivi cried, “Oh, Jackson,” then hugged him tight.
“How come you never told me, especially after everything I recently shared with you?” Cat demanded, misdirecting her anger toward Alison at her brother. “Obviously this happened well over a year ago.”
Like her, Jackson had parenthood snatched away, although he still had the ability to start a family. Still, how awful for him to have had Alison terminate the pregnancy on her own, as if his feelings meant nothing. It struck her as unfair that one potential parent had all the say over something so irreversible.
“It’s why we broke up.” His hand raced through his hair. “The baby would’ve been born last December. He or she would be crawling by now, maybe getting ready to walk.” He shook his head. “That whole first year after Mom died sucked. I missed her,” Jackson glanced at David, “and you. When Alison first told me about the pregnancy, I was happy for the first time in fifteen months. It seemed like a sign that things would be okay. It wouldn’t have replaced Mom, but I’d have had a wife and baby. Then Alison decided to terminate the pregnancy. She wouldn’t even consider having the baby and letting me raise it on my own, even though I begged.” As if talking to himself, he whispered, “I would’ve been a good dad.”
Cat watched Vivi stroking Jackson’s hair and envied her fearlessness—her knowing what to do and say—in the face of emotional upheaval. Vivi forced Jackson to meet her gaze.
“Yes, you would have. You will, some day. In the meantime, I need you to be an uncle.” Vivi squeezed him again. “I knew something was wrong last summer. I even questioned you on the deck at Block Island, remember?” When Jackson prepared to defend himself, Vivi covered his mouth with her hand. “There’s no shame in hurting when people let you down. And there’s no shame in admitting to mistakes.
“Look at me! My mom’s and brother’s deaths drove my dad to drink, and look at how long I blamed myself for that accident and all the consequences. I kept my mistake bottled up and let it affect most of my life. I know all about needing to escape, Jackson. But you’ve got to find a healthier way. Please, before you get hurt, or hurt someone else . . . even some jerk like Doug what’s-his-face.”
Whether in true accord or merely from emotional exhaustion, Jackson nodded. He glanced at Vivi’s flat stomach again.
“I’m gonna be an uncle to a pip-squeak with a big appetite.” He flashed a crooked grin. “That was a helluva way to make the announcement, Vivi. I never figured you one for emotional blackmail.”
“Hormones.” She smiled, easing the tension still vibrating in the room.
Jackson rubbed the back of his neck before glancing at David. “I’m not an alcoholic. Maybe I’ve fallen into some bad habits, but I don’t need to drink. It just helps me relax.”
Before David responded, Vivi jumped in again. “You should talk to someone about all the betrayal you’ve been feeling, and maybe take on fewer projects to reduce stress.” Vivi turned toward David. “And you two need to sit down and build a bridge over the gap that still exists.”
“If I promise to think about counseling, can we end the inquisition tonight?” Jackson turned back to David. “I’m talked out.”
“Give us your word you’ll seriously consider it?” David asked. “And you’ll stop drinking until you sort things out.”
“Fine.”
David pushed off the door and hugged Jackson. “I love you, brother.”
“Congratulations on the baby.” Jackson slapped David on the back.
Cat rose from her chair somewhat dazed, as if she’d just watched the saddest movie. But this was real, and it affected all the people she most loved—including Hank. In that instant, she craved a connection to them, to anything.
Against her natural instincts, she crossed the room to join the group hug. Having the arms of those closest to her wrapped around her relieved a bit of the loneliness she’d felt all week. And to think this group would soon include a baby.
Cat would be an aunt. One who would spoil the child and then hand it over to the parents to discipline. She peered at Vivi. “I hope it’s a girl so I can teach her everything I know.”
“That’ll be fun to watch,” Jackson teased. “But I’m pulling for a boy who’ll be a charming lady-killer like his uncle.”