She needed clothes, didn’t even have on pants, so Stephen drove straight to her cabin. The drive through the woods was interminable and her heart hurt.
He pulled to a stop and she opened the door, ready to jump out, but at the last minute leaned over and kissed him. As bad as it was, it was easier because of him. “Thank you.”
She grabbed the door handle to jump down and her bare foot brushed against something on the floorboard on her way out. Thinking it might be something he needed, she reached for it before it fell.
A rose. A single red rose broken off at the stem. A little shriveled around the edges but not dry.
Something pricked at the back of her mind as she stared at it, unable to let it go.
New truck. One rosebud. No flowers.
Stephen cleared his throat. “I went to Tracy’s grave yesterday. My fiancée.”
Her brain was already so full and twisted up but…Tracy. Trace. Her heart fell, crashed to the bottom of her stomach.
“I took flowers.”
She made herself meet his eyes because he sounded like he’d done something wrong, and he hadn’t. “That was a good thing to do. I’ve um…I’ve got to change and…” The rose dropped from her fingers and onto the seat. “I’ll talk to you later.”
She closed the truck door and ran. Got inside, and thanked God twice when she heard the sound of him driving away. Because she couldn’t have held back the tears any longer.
Tracy. Trace. His entire company. Everything he wanted. Everything that he lived for, that had saved him.
She’d been saved by a place. Stephen had been saved by the memory of the woman he loved. Maybe still did.
Chapter 42
Stephen drove away from her feeling like he’d been kicked in the chest. Still raw after last night and now…that bruised look in her bloodshot eyes killed him. Was it just the fire? Her worry for Lexie?
No. The way she’d picked up that rose. The way she’d looked at it, then at him with understanding. But she didn’t understand anything.
He went home, showered, dressed, and headed to work, his mind circling the issues. There were things he needed to take care of. Meetings to cancel or reschedule. Hannah would need him this week and he’d be there. And he’d do something about this damn land requisition. He wondered what the city’s stance would be now, after the fire.
But more than anything was the way they’d left things. He couldn’t let her think…whatever it was she thought about Tracy, because that wasn’t it. He loved her. He loved Hannah. He’d known it, wasn’t sure why the words hadn’t come out sooner. Maybe because he’d fought it for so long.
At the last second he turned right instead of left toward the city. Screw it. He’d see her now.
—
Stephen parked his truck and got out, the smell of charred wood hitting him in the face. Seeing it in the light of day was…not worse, but sadder. What had once been serene now looked like a mini–war zone. The front of the barn was open to the elements, the roof partially gone. After the scene last night he was surprised by how much of the structure still stood.
The ground he walked across was marred and torn by heavy fire truck wheels. The paddock fence to the right of the barn was partially broken by the same. Winnie came across the lower pasture, blond mane and tail blowing around her caramel body. Thank God she hadn’t been hurt.
He imagined Hannah out there, flying across the field, her hair flowing behind her. A white light against the backdrop of the world, and yet sometimes…she seemed barely there, like she could blend right into the sunset. Like if he blinked she could be gone. He knew what it was to blink and someone be gone. He leaned his forearms against the wooden rail, dropping his head with the weight of the thought. He didn’t want to lose again.
“Hey.”
Stephen whipped around to find Luke, wearing a tool belt and carrying a two-by-four.
“You looking for Hannah?”
“Well, I’m sure as hell not looking for you,” Stephen said, joking.
Luke grinned. “I figured. She’s not here. She went to the hospital to check on Lexie.”
Of course. If he’d thought, he’d have known she’d be at the hospital. But he’d wanted to see her now. Wanted to touch her and hold her now. “You need some help?”
“From you, playboy? You’re dressed for a boardroom, not a barn.”
“Yeah.” He smiled down at his black suit pants, his dress shoes. “I just…”
“Wanted to see her. I get it.”
Stephen nodded.
“She just texted me she was going by the feed store. Should be back in a couple of hours.”
Stephen glanced at his watch. He wanted to talk to her, ached to tell her how he felt, but he also needed to touch base with Dave before his partner caught a plane. “Tell her I came by and I’ll be back. Tell her I had to take care of something but I need to talk to her.”