“Hannah.” Stephen wrapped his arms around her from behind, trapping her, halting her movements. “Baby, stop.”
She couldn’t. Her stomach was sick and her shoulders shook in an effort not to cry. Over their perfect morning ruined. How every insecurity slammed into her, dragging her back into a past she wanted to forget.
But Stephen wouldn’t let her go. He kissed the side of her head and turned her in his arms. “Look at me.”
“I’m sorry. This is—” She shook her head and one lone tear slipped down her cheek. “I shouldn’t be here. You didn’t ask for this.”
“I asked for exactly this,” he said, taking her face in his hands. “More than once if I remember.”
But why? That’s what she wanted to ask but didn’t.
“I’ve been in the papers before,” he said easily. “I will be again.”
He slipped the robe off her shoulders, ran his tongue along her collarbone. A soft intimate slide that made her shake in a different way.
“I want you.”
“But, Stephen—”
“Now. Again.” He took her mouth slowly, tenderly, like he’d taken her body.
She thought of the woman in the bathroom, thought that she should be careful. Should remember how very badly this could go even without her past. But she’d been careful all her life. She didn’t want to be careful now.
He continued his convincing, moving them to the bed, and she stopped asking questions, stopped looking for answers and reasons, and lost herself in Stephen.
Chapter 32
“So we’re going to have a party? And then I can keep riding here?”
“That’s the plan. We’ll just have to keep our fingers crossed.” The two of them navigated the even ground along the fence under a blue sky.
Hannah turned in her saddle to look at the girl riding beside her. Allie sat upright in a standard English saddle, holding the reins perfectly between her fingers. She’d made that much progress. Hannah still held a lead rope clipped to the horse’s bridal, but only as a precaution. Hazel wasn’t going anywhere she didn’t absolutely have to go.
It had been two weeks since their trip to Las Vegas, and plans for the awareness day were moving incredibly fast. It gave Hannah hope, but also made the possibility of loss extremely real. Breaking the news to her brothers and listening to them rant had also made it real. Though protective as always, they’d reluctantly agreed to limit their “help” to working on the awareness day project. As opposed to charging en masse into the city planner’s building.
Stephen had been out of town for two days, closing a deal in Texas, but he was coming back today. They texted and called several times a day and her heart turned over every time. The way he said he needed to hear her voice, that he had to make sure she was tucked in tight before he could go to sleep. It felt protective but in a very good way. In a way she was afraid to think about too much.
She and Allie were still a good distance from the barn but she recognized Stephen, standing at the fence in all his gorgeous splendor. Would she ever get used to the sight of him? Her stomach flipped and fluttered. Every time it was the same. Butterflies. Happiness.
She’d missed him—realizing just how much was scary. The way he smiled with his eyes first before the slow sexy curve of his lips. The way he kissed her, which was incredible and made her insides melt, but even more, the look in his eyes just before their lips met. Like he was always a little bit surprised she was there. The way he held her hand while they watched TV or sifted his fingers absently through her hair as she fell asleep.
“Is he your boyfriend?” Allie asked, pointing toward the gate.
That was the second time she’d been asked that question. She still wasn’t sure. “I guess.”
“Do you kiss him?”
“Um…” She slid a glance at Allie, who didn’t seem at all embarrassed by the question.
“If you do he’s your boyfriend.”
Well. A six-year-old seemed to figure it out easily enough.
“Unless he kisses other girls too and then maybe he’s not.”
Hannah got a bad feeling in her gut. Did Stephen kiss other girls?
“My brother kissed two girls so now he doesn’t have a girlfriend at all. If you kiss two, then you don’t get to have a girlfriend. That’s what Dad told him. But maybe they just don’t like him. He is kind of gross.”
Oh, God. She was an idiot. Should she assume they weren’t exclusive or assume they were? Should she ask? Wait for him to say something?
Stephen’s smile grew as they neared the gate. So did hers. He was here, that had to mean something.