Forcing her eyes straight ahead, she drove through two more lights. Her chest hurt, her insides were shaking apart. She knew what to do. Tried to slow it down, take deep breaths.
Mia. Where was Mia’s office? It felt like she was moving too fast, but cars flew past on either side.
She pulled off and through a parking lot. Stopped in front of a building she recognized. Even walking felt strange, like there was nothing solid under her feet.
Her hand skimmed along the cool brick of the hallway. Through a door.
The receptionist counter wavered and there was nothing to hold on to. “I need to see the doctor.”
“Your name?”
Another door, the knob cold in her hand.
“Miss, you can’t go back there.”
“No, I can’t. I need—”
The narrow hallway stretched out in front of her longer and longer.
Nothing to hold on to.
“Hannah?”
Mia, but she couldn’t get to her. Moving, but not getting closer. Disconnected. She couldn’t breathe.
“Call 911.”
Mia’s voice, but it felt like a dream.
“Hannah. Hold my hand. Breathe.”
“I can’t breathe.”
Chapter 22
“I’m okay, Nick. Don’t look so worried.”
Her brother sat in a chair beside her in a partitioned-off section of the ER. Elbows on his knees, head down, just as she’d seen him in too many hospitals, too many times before. And she was sorry for it.
“I’m not.”
A smile pulled at her lips. “It’s a sin to lie.”
He sighed. “Does this have anything to do with the other night?”
“No.” Nick had stopped by hours after Stephen left. Hours after she broke the mirror. And now she was the liar.
“You can talk to me, you know. If you’re having a hard time or…whatever.”
“Yeah? Like I could talk to you about getting my period? Or buying tampons?”
Nick’s face screwed up at the memory and the tension eased. “Really. I’m fine. I was on my way to the meeting with the city this morning and—”
“What meeting?”
Well, shit. “Something about the property I needed to take care of. Anyway, I got lost and I guess I got upset. But I’m fine now. I want to go home.”
He’d heard that last bit before. At least this time she wasn’t begging and crying after weeks, months, of being confined to a hospital room.
“Okay.” He stood, patted her hand awkwardly. “I’ll get the doctor.”
“Nick?”
He stopped and turned at the door. “Yeah?”
“Please don’t worry.”
He gave the tiniest nod and left the room.
Damn it. Just when she decided to step up and step out on her own, and now her brothers would be more worried than ever. One minute she’d been noting street signs and the next…she’d just lost it. Her heart rate was fine now, the chill gone. She knew what had happened, the why and the how, but it didn’t make her feel less stupid. Didn’t make her less the weak little sister to four ultra-strong brothers.
The heavy door cracked open and Mia’s face filled the gap. “Hey. How’s the patient?”
“Good.”
“Rough day, huh.” Mia sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand, so much more at ease than Nick had been. “I guess you know you had a severe panic attack.”
“Yes.”
“That’s not unusual after all you’ve been through. Honestly, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before.”
Hannah rolled the edge of the scratchy sheet between her fingers and Mia let out a heavy sigh over the silence. “It has happened before. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I thought I was just having a moment. Doesn’t everyone have moments?” She made a weak attempt at a smile.
Mia gave her a look that said, You know better.
“I haven’t had one since I’ve been seeing you. Haven’t had a bad one in several years.”
“Do you have any idea what brought it on?”
“I had a nightmare.” Hours after I spilled my guts to a man I thought might mean something.
The hospital door flew open and Nick stepped through like a dark storm. “No one knows where the damn doctor is. But as soon as I—”
Her brother froze, drew in a sharp breath like he’d been punched in the stomach, and let it out on one word. “Mia.”
And it just got worse. As far as she knew, Nick and Mia hadn’t seen each other in ten years. Another thing that had ended because of her.
—
Stephen barely registered the noise coming from outside his office door as the reports he stared at blurred. Seconds later it came through his office. Nick Walker, looking like a man going into the ring.