“You should talk,” she said, turning the attention back on them. “You’re all bachelors. And I’d say you’re pretty eligible. Maybe you guys don’t like him because you’re so much alike.”
Zach choked on a mouthful of sandwich. “Have you seen where I live?”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “Yes, unfortunately. I’ve also seen the parade of girls.”
Nick smiled. “She’s got you there, bro. All you need is a float and some clowns.”
“Ha-ha.”
“I’m serious. You might want to pick one someday.” She looked pointedly at both of them. “I’d like to be an aunt while I’m still young enough to be cool.”
“No worries here,” Zach said. “I’ll always be cool.”
Nick balled up his bag and looked at her with all his big-brother authority. “Trust me on this, Hannah. He’s not your type.”
Hannah look down at her sandwich, folded the corners of the wrapper just so. “Well, seeing as I’ve never dated, I don’t guess I have a type, do I?”
—
Though the colors of the waiting room were meant to be soothing, the seating soft and inviting, a psychiatrist’s office was never a comfortable place. The cool air couldn’t combat the sweaty palms or the silence accentuated by the swish of alternating leg crossings and turning magazine pages.
Even in the silence you could hear the loud thoughts.
Why are you here?
Were you forced? By the court? By your family?
Are you crazier than I am?
And the smells, similar to all doctors’ offices, brought flashes from the past. Nick carrying her, or sometimes Zach or Dallas, while she bit her lip against the pain, fought back the tears because the look in her brothers’ eyes when she cried was even worse.
When her name was called, she rose for her monthly standing appointment. After years without, she’d recently decided to get back to therapy. But not with just anyone.
Dr. Mia James met her at her office door looking both professional and feminine. A stunning woman, Mia stood several inches shorter than her own five-eight, with glossy black hair that brushed her shoulders.
“Hannah.”
The door closed and she was enveloped in a warm hug from Mia the friend before Mia the doctor. She’d known Mia a very long time, though until last summer there’d been no contact in almost twelve years. At one time Mia had been like a mother to her, like Nick had been a father. Then everything had fallen apart.
“Sit down. How are you?”
Hannah sat in one of the two chairs in front of a wide desk. Mia took the other, to make her patients feel more comfortable, she figured, though nothing could confuse who was broken and who wasn’t. “I’m good. Fine.” Mia studied her with dark eyes, the ones Hannah always felt missed nothing. “Except…” She might as well tell her about Max. It never did any good to keep things from her.
“I’m sorry,” Mia said when she’d finished. She offered her a tissue, then reached for something on her desk, giving her a minute. “How are your students? Anything new?”
“I have a new student who’s blind. It’s a different challenge, but it’s going great.”
Mia listened about her job and the kids, a familiar dance, giving her time to ease into talking about herself. Which was the point, but still not easy.
“And what about you? How are you sleeping?”
“Good.”
“Nightmares?”
“Some.” And still every bit as terrifying.
“Do you remember more?”
Hannah traced the curved grooves in the wooden arm chair. “No.”
Mia waited a beat before speaking again. “Have you given any thought to what we discussed last time?”
“Actually…” And here was the reason she’d decided to talk to someone again. The last hurdle. “I’ve given it more than thought. I went out with someone. On a date.”
Mia’s eyes widened before she caught herself.
“I figured that would surprise you.” Hannah had to smile as it was difficult to catch Mia off-guard, even harder to get a reaction.
“Yes. I am surprised. Hannah, that’s remarkable.”
“Or crazy.”
“Sometimes it takes a little bit of crazy to make ourselves step out of our comfort zone. Was it someone you’ve known awhile?”
“No.” She took a deep breath and braced herself for Mia’s professional opinion. “I met him Friday, at the grocery store, and he asked me to dinner.” She held up the hand and quickly added, “I met him there.”
Mia sat back.
“I know, okay? He caught me off-guard. And…I didn’t want to hang around the guys. You know how they’d be after Max.”