Worth the Risk(72)

‘And then you found out I was pregnant.’

‘Yes.’ His jaw clenched but his eyes held hers. ‘I felt as though the ground had shifted underneath me. As if everything I’d ever believed in had collapsed. I couldn’t believe I’d been so careless.’

‘It wasn’t your fault.’

His mouth twisted. ‘Of course it was my fault. I’d virtually seduced you—tempted you and teased you until you’d wanted me, too. If I had been so bothered I would have questioned you more closely, but the truth was I was so desperate for you that it wouldn’t have made any difference what you’d said to me.’

‘You didn’t seduce me.’

He gave a wry smile. ‘You were a virgin, Ally.’

‘I still knew what I was doing.’

‘Maybe. I don’t know.’ He shrugged and glanced out of the window again, fighting for control. ‘Either way, you were pregnant and I was suddenly forced to confront all those feelings I’d ducked all my life.’

‘You don’t have to—’

‘Dammit, Ally, stop saying that!’ He slammed his fist against the wall and glared at her. ‘Of course I have to! It’s my baby, too.’

‘But you don’t want it.’

‘I do want it. I don’t want this baby growing up, not knowing its father.’

His eyes burned into hers and she felt her heart tear into two. How could she stand it? Seeing him occasionally with their child but not having him for herself? How would she ever get over him if he was constantly re-entering her life? It would be the worst possible torture but she couldn’t deny him his rights, either for his sake or that of their child.

With a huge effort she managed what she hoped was a reassuring smile. ‘I’d never stop you seeing your child, Sean. I’m not like that.’

He contemplated her in silence, a muscle flickering in his hard jaw. ‘I’m not talking about visitation rights, Ally.’

Her cheeks blanched. He couldn’t mean— She sat bolt upright. ‘You wouldn’t take my baby away from me?’

‘Take your…?’ He blinked several times, his expression stunned. ‘For God’s sake, Ally, what type of man do you take me for?’

She swallowed and sank back against the pillows, relief swamping her. ‘I—’

‘On second thoughts, don’t answer that question.’ He gave a wry, self-deprecating smile and sat down on the covers next to her, lifting her hands in his and holding them tightly. ‘I haven’t done much to earn your good opinion, have I? First I pursue you relentlessly, then I seduce you, then I tell you I don’t want commitment, and then I round it all off by accusing you of trying to trap me by getting pregnant. It’s no wonder you won’t marry me.’

‘Sean, I—’

‘No, let me finish.’ He cleared his throat and his fingers tightened painfully on hers. ‘I know you think I’m not capable of commitment but you’re wrong. I never knew how I felt about you until I saw you go down onto that ledge. I thought I was going to go mad with worry. All I kept thinking was that I never should have allowed it, and if anything happened to you I’d have lost everything.’

What was he saying? ‘Sean—’

‘You said you loved me Ally.’ His voice was hoarse. ‘Did you mean it?’

She swallowed hard. ‘Of course I meant it.’

‘Well, I love you, too.’ He dropped her hands and cupped her face, forcing her to look at him. ‘I’ve never said that to another human being in my life before. I’ve never allowed myself to love anyone before, but with you it wasn’t something I could control. It just happened. You were right when you said that I never take risks. I don’t, usually. Not emotional ones, anyway, but with you I had no choice. I realised that today.’

Tears slid down her cheeks and she blinked them away. ‘You love me?’

He gave her a lopsided grin. ‘Madly.’

She sniffed. ‘You want to marry me?’

The grin widened and he nodded. ‘I’m going to marry you whether you like it or not. Someone has to stop you taking stupid risks.’

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. ‘I can’t believe you mean it. I keep thinking I’ve trapped you.’

‘You have.’ His mouth hovered tantalisingly close to hers, the look in his eyes turning her legs to jelly. ‘I’m well and truly trapped. Just don’t ever let me go.’

‘Never.’ Ally shook her head, her heart thudding in slow motion. ‘I love you.’

‘I know you do.’ His eyes softened and his lips brushed hers, his expression wicked. ‘And I’m going to make you prove it—over and over again.’