Worth the Fall(77)

But he did hear the beep in his ear. He pulled the phone back to see the screen. Call ended. Damn it.

“Smooth move, McKinney,” Rocky said. “You really are losing your touch.”

Matt slammed his bottle on the bar. “Be right back.”

—

Abby ended the call unsure what to do or think. Her heart had warmed at the sound of Matt’s voice on the other end of the line, then instantly cooled with the loud male laughter mixed with extremely close feminine giggles. She wasn’t particularly worried about the women. Matt was too honorable for that. But when had he gotten back? She thought he was still— The cell in her hand buzzed. Matt. “Hello?”

“I’ve been calling you all day.”

“Hey.” She let out a relieved breath. “Sorry. My phone wasn’t charged. You won’t believe—”

“What? Hang on.”

Distinctively female voices were calling Matt to come back to wherever he’d been.

“I’ll be right there,” he said, obviously talking to someone else.

It got noticeably more quiet, and she started to apologize again. “I’m sorry I di—”

“We need to talk.”

There was an edge to Matt’s voice she’d never heard before. Was he angry that she hadn’t answered? Or that she’d called? A sick feeling seeped into her stomach. “Hey, you know if this isn’t a good time, I can call you back.”

“No, it’s fine. Listen, though. I’ve been thinking, and…this long distance thing…It’s not working.”

Abby froze. The beat of her heart, the blood flowing through her veins—everything stopped.

“Look, just listen to me for a second, okay?”

This is what he’d needed to talk to her about. Not that he wanted to be with her but that he didn’t.

“Abby—”

“Stop. Please.” She knew how it would go. He’d try to ease the blow, explaining how it was for the best.

“Abby?”

At least he was doing it over the phone. So much easier than looking in their eyes when they gave their reasons, their excuses. And he didn’t need to know how much he was hurting her. “I understand…You’re busy. It’s okay.”

“What’s okay? What are you talking about?”

“It’s…not working.” Her voice shook and she fought to rein it in. “I get it.”

A long silence followed before he finally spoke. “And that’s okay with you?”

The tension was thick, the silence over the phone line deafening. Don’t care. Don’t want it. If you don’t want them, they can’t hurt you. “I never asked you to come.”

“So, if I said it was over, that would be okay with you?”

Abby scrambled to reassemble the walls she’d lowered for Matt. “It would have to be, wouldn’t it?” She wouldn’t beg someone to love her, to stay with her.

Matt made a loud frustrated sound. “And God forbid you admit that you want me, that you need me?”

He sounded incredulous, like he wanted to end it but he wanted to know it bothered her. Well, he wouldn’t get both.

“You know what, Abby? Maybe that’s why you’re always alone. Because you can’t ask anyone for anything. Because you push so fucking hard. Did you ever think of that?”

“Yes.” She choked out the word and ended the call.

Yes. I’ve thought of it. I just don’t know how to fix it.





Chapter 28


“Abby? Abby!” Matt slammed the hand holding his phone against the brick wall. “Fuck!” Slammed it again. And again, then scrubbed his hands over his face, stabbed his fingers into his hair and pulled. What the hell had just happened?

He was on the verge of choosing her over everything. Over his job, his teammates, his promise. And she didn’t even care if he walked away? Was it so easy for her to let him go?

Matt sucked in the cool night air and stared up at the sky, picturing her face.

It would have to be, wouldn’t it?

In an instant his anger cooled. That’s what she thought. She’s been left so many times she accepted it. Expected it. He saw it in her eyes every time he left.

He was the one who’d pushed. He was the one who’d told her not to be afraid, and he was the one pussyfooting around a decision that affected her life. What the hell have I done? She’d been alone all her life because no one had stepped up and loved her the way she deserved to be loved, and he’d thrown it back on her.

He’d known she was scared, known it from the beginning and pushed her anyway. He’d wanted her and he’d gone after her, so sure she’d be better off with him than without. Intent on making her want him as much as he wanted her. He took a deep breath and put his forehead against the brick wall. Like Abby’s wall. He’d been determined to go over it. Not caring that she felt safer hiding behind it.