His chest was warm and hard against her cheek. His heart beat so strong and steadily, she thought she might sleep peacefully if he was there to hold her all night.
Don’t want this. Don’t need this. The closer you get, the more it will hurt. But wrapped up in Matt’s arms, her heart sang. More than anything, she wanted to let go, to sink into his strength and warmth. Her imagination flitted carelessly through dreams and fantasies she knew would only leave her feeling sad and empty.
She stepped back, pulling out of his arms, leaving herself open to the chill. A good reminder that the world always felt colder after you’d been warm. “I could have called an ambulance.” The words tumbled out like garbage.
Matt studied her, arms at his sides, without moving, without comment.
She focused on the wall behind him so she didn’t have to look at his handsome face or see the change in his eyes. “I would have…if you hadn’t been there. It would have been fast. Even faster maybe.”
She imagined the tick of an absent clock through the untenable silence. Finally she looked at him, saw the muscles in his jaw clench and watched the warmth leave his eyes as made his decision. The one that always came sooner or later.
“Okay, then,” he said, his words clipped, his voice flat and void of all emotion. “Good night.”
Matt turned on his heel and walked to the door.
She opened her mouth to apologize, but nothing came out, and the door closed with a final click. One good push and he was gone.
That cruel voice reminded her she’d never been hard to leave.
Chapter 7
Matt sat at an outdoor table, folded newspaper in one hand, a mug in the other. A plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast lay in front of him. He’d started his day with an early run, packed his bag, and then convinced himself he needed the breakfast buffet. But, really, he couldn’t get his mind off the woman he’d left last night. And that was before he’d seen her enter the pool area, her four little ducks following behind.
Jack saw him first. He called out, waving wildly, and started over. Abby followed her son’s line of sight and pulled him back. Really? That’s how it was going to be? Expecting her to turn and run the other way, he was surprised when she stopped and met his gaze. Even more surprised when she seated the kids on a low stone wall surrounding ornamental grasses. She knelt in front of them and he watched as an animated conversation took place between Abby and Jack.
What the hell was it about her? He should be on the road. Hell¸ he should have gone home three days ago. But even after her cold brush-off he’d still been thinking about her, still reliving the seconds she’d been in his arms. And the moment she’d pushed him away.
He needed to check Charlie’s stitches and he’d told Jack they could practice throwing the football again today. She’d dealt him a blow last night, that was for sure.
She straightened and turned but didn’t look up or move forward for a full minute. Was she talking to herself?
He took a sip of coffee, forcing his eyes back to his newspaper. Damn it. She had him so twisted up inside he didn’t recognize himself. Such a contradiction of want and restraint. So sweet she’d melt in his mouth like sugar, and at the same time so hot his mind conjured all manner of sinful thoughts.
Finally, she began a slow walk toward him and came to a stop two feet from his table. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“I didn’t think I’d see you.”
“I guess not,” he said, trying to hide his anger and hurt but failing miserably.
“I’m glad I did.”
He glanced at the kids, then back, waiting for her to say more.
“Because I’m sorry,” she blurted. “Last night, what I said, it was rude.”
He sipped his coffee, eyeing her over the rim. Her skin glowed; her eyes sparkled a million shades of green. Strong and amazing, yet so afraid to lean on anyone. But here she was, bravely facing him like a prisoner before a firing squad.
“I…” She glanced over to make sure the children were still sitting. “I didn’t mean it the way it came out. I was um—”
“Mom!” Jack yelled.
“Just a minute,” she called to Jack. “I was trying to—”
“Mom!”
“Just a minute!” She swung her gaze to Jack then back to him. “I don’t like needing people, and…I guess I have a hard time accepting help.”
“You’re kidding.” He took another sip of coffee.
Her eyes went wide. “No, really, it’s one of my biggest faults.”
It was all he could do not to laugh at her ultra-serious face, like she’d just worked up the nerve to unveil a secret of her personality.