Worth the Fall(101)

Holden stuck his head out the door. “If you’re going, you go now. You’ll have to hit it before dawn. You can make your calls from the air.”

Matt moved down the hallway, mentally running the assault, planning the gear they’d need, and praying to God that he wasn’t losing one person to save another.





Chapter 37


For days Abby had cleaned the house. Top to bottom, corner to corner. Didn’t matter that it was new and didn’t need it. Every item in the house had a drawer, a box, or a shelf, and all of them were now labeled. There wasn’t a single thing left to unpack. Even the spices were lined up and alphabetized. But it was becoming more and more difficult to concentrate with her mind an emotional jumble.

Matt was gone. While his family sat in their living room, she’d answered the phone call that had broken her heart. He was gone, left—another mission. The room had spun and darkened, her ears ringing as she listened to him say over a disconnecting, broken-up line that he was sorry, that it would be quick. Two days. He’d be back. He was sorry. She’d dropped the phone, stared wordlessly at her guests.

There’d been no party.

She hadn’t told his family about the messages Matt had left before she’d talked to him that last time. The ones she’d listened to over and over just to hear his voice. The ones that made it clear whatever he’d done, wherever he’d gone, it hadn’t been an order. It had been a decision. But he’d seemed content, hadn’t he? He’d bought three new properties to flip, been excited at the possibilities. Had she only imagined the happiness in his eyes?

However much she wanted him back, would do anything to have him for one more minute, there was no question. The time had come when he’d had a choice, and he’d chosen to leave her.

Relatives had popped in and out over the past ten days. Did they leave their jacket here? Could they borrow an egg? Did the kids want to go to a movie or come over to play? Marge came every day, saying she needed to see her grandbaby.

Today it was Beth and Andrew’s wife, Meg, who’d come to look at the new playroom shelving unit. Though the entire time their worried eyes studied her, not the shelves.

“I’m fine.” She pasted on her best smile and hugged her sisters-in-law goodbye. “Really.”

“I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” Meg said, her eyes full of compassion. And Abby knew what soon meant, what was on everyone’s mind. Their wedding day was just over a week away.

“Of course he will. Maybe tonight, even.” Abby made sure her mouth curved into a smile before looking away. “You know, I should get to the store. I don’t have anything for dinner.”

They talked a few minutes about the trials of thinking up dinners and trying to get the kids to eat them before she walked the women out. When Meg was in her car, Beth turned to Abby. “Are you eating?”

“Yes.” She was trying.

Beth wasn’t buying it. “Abby, you have to eat. You have to keep up your strength.”

“I know. I think I’m coming down with something.” Abby pleaded with her eyes for Beth to accept the lie.

Beth walked to her car and reached to open the door.

“He said two days.” She tried not to remember that part, but it was always there, beating at her until she was bruised.

“Yes, but you know—”

“Sure, I know,” she said too quickly. “It could always be longer. He’s been gone way longer than this, right?” Her smile wobbled.

Beth nodded, her eyes bright with tears, and got into her car.

Abby went back inside and walked to the nursery. She picked up the baby and went to the rocking chair, hugging Mary’s little body to her chest. She wouldn’t cry. There was no reason to.

He’s coming back.

—

Days later, Abby came awake with a jerk and immediately looked over to the cradle to find Mary sleeping soundly. The screams had only been in her mind. Lying back in her bed against the pillow, she wiped at her face. The sweat and tears were real enough.

She’d dreamed she was running toward Matt, but no matter how hard she ran, she couldn’t get to him. She ran and ran and ran, never getting any closer, always just out of reach. Then Matt disappeared and a giant black hole took his place.

Bu the dream didn’t end there. She kept running toward that spot, wanting to fall into the hole, desperate to be swallowed up by its darkness.

The dream mutated until she was watching the scene from above. The children were running after her, Annie struggling to keep up with Mary in her arms. Chasing and tripping, and crying out for her to stop, but Abby hadn’t looked back. Not even once.