Even though he hadn’t played through college? How much more proud would Jack have been if his uncle had gone pro? And how much would Matt not want Jack looking up to him if he knew the whole truth of the accident? Those were the kinds of thoughts he battled against around his family.
But still…“I’d like that,” he found himself saying and meant it. Maybe he’d bring Casey and Paige. “Send me the schedule. I’ll see what I can do. That’s great about Annie’s shooting win.” His oldest daughter had recently won the Junior Three Gun competition.
Matt smiled. “She’s amazing, that’s for damn sure. I’d trust her at my back.”
“All I remember is a little girl in braids who barely said boo.” Because he’d barely met her. Seen her maybe once at the rehearsal dinner, then the wedding, then…everything had changed.
“Yeah. Things got crazy in our house, especially after the twins were born, so I made a promise to spend some one-on-one with each of them at least every month.”
“Good idea.” A good father idea.
“It was Abby’s,” Matt said, his lips curled up like just saying her name made him happy. “So anyway, Annie was first, and when I asked her, she blew me away. Of all the things I considered, I never expected she’d say she wanted to shoot a gun. It went from there. Jack’s always a sport. You get out any kind of ball and that boy is happy. Always has been.”
“And what about Gracie?” He pictured the little girl with curly hair and big eyes.
“Anything and everything at a fast pace.”
JT smiled, thinking that sounded like Casey.
“I’ve painted pottery, beaded bracelets, even took her to get her ears pierced. That about killed me. Right now, it’s mostly horses for her. Charlie always wanted to go to work with me, so that’s what we did. Hammering, destroying drywall. He’s twelve now, and actually a pretty good sidekick.”
“And you’ve still got Mary and the twins. Damn. Now I know why you started carving out time.”
“Yeah. But it’s all good. Most of the time it’s all of us, one great, big, chaotic jumble.”
He glanced at his brother. “And you wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Nope.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but do you think you’ll have more?”
“Hell, no. Not after I watched Abby labor with the twins.” Matt stared beyond the trees. “That was the hardest day of my life.”
“I don’t think I ever apologized for that day, when you first told us about Abby.”
“No need. You were a little shit, but…” Matt laughed and grabbed him around the neck, then let go. “It’s all good.”
They walked the rest of the way in silence. JT went into the cabin and grabbed the things as Paige had directed. Casey’s pajamas and toothbrush and Bob.
Matt looked up when he came outside, and they started back up the hill. It’d been good to be with the family tonight. Really good. He seemed to fit in better on this visit than he ever had before. Paige and Casey had a lot to do with that. For the first time he felt more on an even plane with his older brothers.
“So what’s going on with you and Paige?”
JT stared at the dark in front of him, then the blanket of pine needles passing beneath his feet. “I don’t know.” He knew what he wanted to be going on. “I haven’t known her that long.”
“Doesn’t always take that long.”
“I guess not.” He glanced at the pink pajamas with the white puppies in his hand.
“You want to talk about it? I have some experience in women with children. You’re right to go slow if you’re not sure.”
He probably did need to talk, but he didn’t know what to ask. Matt had been so sure when he’d told the family about Abby that day. A woman he’d met at the beach and fallen in love with in a week.
But hadn’t he fallen in love with Paige in a day? A minute? And that wasn’t the problem. He was sure about them. He wasn’t sure about himself. “How did you know?”
“I loved them. I loved them more than anything, more than myself, and I knew I’d do anything to make them happy.”
JT nodded, the harder question beating at his mind. How did he know he’d be a good father? A good husband?
“You can’t make it happen,” Matt said as they reached Stephen’s house and climbed the steps. “Or,” he added with a knowing look over his shoulder. “Make it not happen.”
Chapter 23
Thirty minutes later he was walking through the woods with Paige’s hand tucked tightly in his. “Second thoughts?”