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Worst. Person. Ever(89)

By:Douglas Coupland


Emma opened the cooler, removed the sandwiches and let out a small gasp.

“What is it, Emma?”

“Oh, Mum. I forgot to cut the crusts off. I’m terribly, terribly sorry.”

“No problem, sweetie. Hand them to your father. Kyle, give your father back the red spoony-knifey thingy.”

“Yes, Mum.”

“Raymond, please use your red plastic thingy and cut the crusts off the sandwiches.”

I looked at her and she looked at me.

Fucking hell.

“Yes, Mother.” And so I trimmed off the crusts.