The old me was back. She settled into my skin and filled me, and I knew nothing would make me lose her again. Mrs Tasker would kill me for all these mixed metaphors! But that was how I felt.
The old me was my real friend. No one else. And she hadn’t deserted me. I had been the one who had deserted her.
I closed the door of the bathroom cabinet and splashed my face. Then I stood up straight and stared at the new me. Did my eyes look brighter? I was sure they did. I had made my choice. I was going to school with my head held high.
Then I remembered Wizzie and her gang. They had threatened to get me. I would be easy meat. I was alone, didn’t belong any more.
Wizzie and the Hell Cats were in for a shock too. They had threatened to get me?
Well, I was going to get them first.
Part 3
The Hell Cats
Chapter Thirty-One
My only fear was that the feeling would wear off during the night. It didn’t. I woke up next morning like a tiger coming to life. To think I had even considered not waking up at all on this beautiful morning.
Even my mother noticed the difference in me. She’s usually so wrapped up in herself she doesn’t notice anything. I walked into the kitchen as she was filling the washing machine. ‘Are you OK? Your cheeks are really flushed.’
‘I feel brilliant,’ I said, and that surprised her.
Her cheeks were red too. ‘About yesterday, Hannah, me coming up to the school …’ Was that only yesterday? It had seemed so important yesterday. Today, it didn’t matter at all. She tried to apologise. ‘Maybe I did the wrong thing coming to the school. I always do the wrong thing. But I’m a woman on my own, I haven’t got anybody to support me.’
If I kept on listening to this I was afraid she’d drag me down again. So I stopped her in mid-flow. ‘It’s OK, Mum. Doesn’t matter. Got to go.’
She dragged her hair back with her fingers. ‘This early?’
‘It’s a nice morning for a walk,’ I said.
She followed me to the door. ‘Are you sure you’re all right? You seem different today.’
Different wasn’t the word. I was back. For weeks I had tried to sneak in the school gates, hoping no one would notice me. Today I wanted them to see me. I wanted them all to see me. It was a cold crisp morning and the sun shone on the snow-tipped purple hills. Everything looked clearer and brighter today.
Just as I arrived at the school gates, the bus pulled up beside me and Erin jumped off with Heather at her heels.
‘Oh, look who’s here, Heather,’ she sneered. ‘The wimp.’
I ignored her. I couldn’t argue with that. I had been a wimp. But no more. She strode ahead of me. Why had I never noticed before what fat ankles Erin had? I had always thought she was so perfect. And Heather, always hanging on her every word as if she didn’t have a mind of her own. Had I been like that too?
Erin stopped in front of me, barring my way. She swivelled round to face me. ‘What time’s your mum coming today … or is she here already? Maybe you’ve packed her in your rucksack.’
I didn’t answer at first. I just looked at Erin. I stared and I stared. It was Erin who blinked first. ‘Buzz off,’ I said, and I glanced at Heather. ‘And take your monkey with you.’
Heather gasped. ‘Who are you calling a monkey?’
‘I’ll give you a mirror. You can figure it out for yourself.’
‘We’ll make you sorry you said that.’ Erin tried to sound threatening, and do you know what? It didn’t work any more. I just smiled.
‘In your dreams,’ I said.
I wasn’t interested in them. I was just pleased they looked so baffled by my attitude. The one I was really interested in was swaggering up towards the school.
Wizzie.
Her red-streaked hair was spiked and fierce-looking and she was chewing gum. She was always chewing gum. Grace, running to catch up with her, looked even more like a horse. Chomping away at her gum too, all she needed was a nosebag and the picture would be complete. They linked arms. Grace, a head taller than Wizzie, looked as if she was holding her up.
I turned away from Erin as if she wasn’t there. That must have been so annoying for her. I headed straight for Wizzie. Stopped right in front of her.
Wizzie did her ‘stands back in amazement’ routine, holding up her hands, mock surprise on her face. ‘What have we got here, Grace?’
‘She’s come to beg for mercy probably,’ Grace said, smug.
I didn’t waste time answering that. ‘You said you’d get me.’ I poked Wizzie in the chest and she staggered back a few steps. ‘Fine with me. But I’ll pick the time and place. Today. After school. Up behind the football pitch, far away from the school so the teachers won’t find out.’ I paused. ‘Square go.’ I said that because I didn’t want any knives involved, and if Wizzie agreed to a square go now, with half the school listening, she couldn’t go back on it. ‘You do know what a square go is, don’t you, Wizzie? One at a time. Fair fight. OK?’