Nolan looked around at the place that he’d called home for the past year. “I can take over the lease.”
“What?”
“It makes sense. It’s close enough to transit that I can get to the office without any problems. I’ve already got my stuff here. I should be able to afford it on my salary.”
Tina’s frown made her look like their mother. “What if you get fired? You said yourself that your boss was an asshole and not easy to get along with.”
It was a risk, but it was Nolan’s turn to step up and help his sister. “Nancy in HR told me that even if Zack cuts me loose, she’d find me a position somewhere else. You never know, maybe I’ll get back into training again.”
Tina’s look told him all he needed to hear. No matter how much he might wish it, the chances of him getting back up in front of a room full of people would be slim to say the least. “That’s something anyway.”
“It’s stability for me. Which means you don’t need to worry about whether or not I’m going to fall apart, and you can call your boss and accept the promotion. You’ll leave as soon as you need to, and I’ll make sure everything is okay here.” There. He said it with enough genuine excitement that he hoped she would listen to him.
One moment she was sitting beside him and the next she’d wrapped him up in a giant hug. “Thank you.”
“For what?” He squeezed her tight.
“For understanding. For being one of the strongest people I know. For taking over my lease.”
They both laughed. “Are you kidding? I’m too lazy to move my shit again. I was going to try and convince you to let me stay somehow.”
“It’s a one-bedroom.”
“I would have totally shared a room with you. Because your couch is comfy and all, but lacking privacy.”
“Yeah right.”
Nolan lightly shoved her away. “Well, now I don’t have to. I get the room all to myself.”
“Now maybe you can find a guy and bring him back here for some sexy fun times.”
He groaned. “Are we back to this?”
“Yes, yes, we are.”
“I’m not going to have time to date, not with this job.”
“You need to make time. I can’t move to Vancouver if I think you’re going to be here all alone. You’re young and good-looking. There’s a perfect man for you out there somewhere.”
Sure, there was most likely the right man for Nolan out there, waiting for him to come along to sweep him off his feet. It wasn’t as though he wanted to be perpetually single, but he’d gone from school to work, then smack into a life-altering accident. Finding someone to make out with hadn’t been high on his priority list.
Nolan groaned. “I promise I’ll do something. I’ll try speed dating or sign up for a matchmaking site.”
“Or.” Tina’s grin was not promising.
“Or?”
“We can go out tonight! Let’s hit a bar, find some men, and have a good time.”
“No.”
“Come on. It’ll be fun.”
“It’ll be hell.” He shook his head, and Tina stuck her bottom lip out in a way he hadn’t seen since they were kids. “Seriously?”
“How many more times are we going to have the chance to do this? Your job is going to take more and more time, and I could be moving in a few weeks.” She took his hands in hers. “It’s always been you and me, and we won’t be like that much longer.” She batted her eyes for good measure. “Come on. Come ooonnn.”
There was a reason the two of them had always gotten into trouble together as kids. Tina had an adventurous streak a mile wide, and Nolan couldn’t say no to her.
“Okay. But I can’t promise I won’t have a panic attack and need to leave.”
Tina whooped. “That’s totally fine. You’re getting out there and trying. That’s all I can ask.”
Apparently he was going out tonight. Nolan poured himself another full glass of wine and prayed things wouldn’t end badly.
Nolan’s wine buzz had seeped through every inch of his body, so that by the time he and Tina fell out of the taxi and stumbled into line at Frantic, the last things on his mind were panic, anxiety, or even the pain that constantly lived in his leg. No, the only things he was aware of were the urge to giggle and the very nice ass of the man in front of him in line.
“Tina,” he said in a voice that he hoped was a whisper. “Tina.”
“What?”
He took her hand and gazed, wide-eyed and obvious, at the nice ass. “I need new jeans.”
She giggled. “You’re drunk.”
“I think I might be.” To prove the truth of the statement, he ignored Tina’s protests and tapped the man on the shoulder. “Excuse me.”
The man was shorter than Nolan, but far broader in the shoulders and chest. His brown eyes met Nolan’s, and for a moment they reminded him of Zack’s. Jesus, this isn’t any time to be thinking about your boss. The man’s lips curled into a soft smile. “Yeah?”
“I just wanted to let you know that you have a very nice ass.”
The man’s gaze raked down Nolan. He might be drunk, but he knew how he looked: tall, slight of build, his dress shirt a bit out of place at a club. When the other man’s eyes returned to his, he shrugged and turned back around to continue talking to his friends.
Well, okay, then.
Tina pulled his arm. “Fuck him. You’re hot and there will be lots of cute guys in there for you to flirt with.”
Sure, there was that.
Frantic was his gay bar of choice, had been since he’d turned nineteen and was finally able to spread his wings and start clubbing. Well, start clubbing legally. Tina had always loved coming with him. The music was awesome, and she didn’t have to worry about getting harassed by the guys. He hadn’t been here since before his accident, and the normal anxiety he’d feel was currently being shoved aside by curiosity. The closer they got to the door, the louder the bass thumped and the greater his excitement grew. It had been ages since he’d given himself permission to let loose, to have fun and not worry about all the problems that had controlled his life for ages.
Tina skipped her way through the door ahead of him once they were finally waved through by the bouncer. Nolan didn’t recognize him, but that wasn’t surprising. No doubt there would be a great number of changes since his last visit.
The first was the sheer number of patrons crammed inside. Frantic had always been busy, especially on a Friday night, but the crowd of people on the dance floor was a claustrophobic sight.
Even his wine-soaked brain shouted a warning that this was A Bad Idea. He’d had many of those over the years, and really needed to learn to listen to that little voice.
Starting tonight.
“Tina, I think—”
“I love this song!”
Nolan stumbled forward as she jerked him out onto the dance floor and into the throng of people.
Okay, so this was happening. He was at a club with a shit-ton of people dancing to a cranked-up beat.
He had a choice: leave or dance. Bodies pressed against him, grinding to the rhythm of the song. He forced his feet to move and got to the outside edge of the dancers. Heat rolled off their bodies in waves as they writhed in front of him, silently encouraging him to join them. The wine buzz he’d been rocking made it difficult to get his brain working properly. His mouth grew dry and his breathing increased into shallow pants.
The acrid smell of sweat, the echo of voices around him, rattled his brain. A scream, a shout, an accidental shove that sent him stumbling startled him, and along with his balance he lost his hold on the present moment; memories flooded in while his guard was down. The cheers of the partiers morphed into the screams of Roberta, Simon, and Xi as his car spun out of control two years ago.
“Hey. Look out, you made me spill my drink . . .”
“Nolan! Look out!”
Somebody gasped, then all was quiet, the car silent as a ghost as it flew over the ice.
“Careful, buddy.” A dancer pushed Nolan away. He hadn’t realized that he’d moved.
The muscles in his chest tightened, and his vision started to go spotty. Air. He needed to get some fresh air, get away from people.
His leg throbbed, his head ached, a memory flashed through his mind of Roberta’s body flying from the backseat of the car to smash into the windshield.
“Shit, Nolan! I think she’s dead! Help us!”
Someone in the club puked, the smell unfortunately reinforcing his memories: Simon had panicked and fled the car, heaving his guts out as he went. Xi had helped Nolan with Roberta, who was severely injured but somehow, miraculously, had survived.
God, there’d been so much blood. Roberta’s and his.
And the screams.
His vision darkened, and he lost his footing, swaying into a couple beside him.
“Sorry.”
He needed to get out of here. Unable to focus properly on his surroundings, he pushed his way through the crowd and somehow found his way to the bar. “I need . . . ice water, please.”
The bartender filled one and slid it over. “Are you okay?”
“No. Panic attack.”
“Need me to get someone? Do you have a boyfriend here? A date?”
Nolan’s fingers curled around the bar, helping to stabilize him. It should be easy enough to speak, to say no, to somehow squeak out Tina’s name at the very least. But nothing could escape the tightening of his throat or the rising nausea.