Zack’s gaze raked Nolan’s body, but he didn’t come any closer. “Are you okay?”
Nolan turned his head and inhaled. Zack’s scent clung to the duvet. “Yeah.”
The weight of Zack sitting on the bed jostled him. The touch of fingers on his thigh made his breath catch.
Zack rested his fingertips along one ridged line of scar tissue. “This really bothers you? What it looks like, I mean?”
“I don’t understand how it doesn’t bother you.” When Nolan looked into Zack’s eyes, it surprised him to see no revulsion. “It’s horrid.”
He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t Zack shifting position so his face hovered above Nolan’s leg, nor the gentle kiss Zack placed on the worst of the damage. Nolan’s cock—already hard—twitched at the contact. God, it would have been even better if Zack had taken his briefs off too. The touch of Zack’s wet tongue on his gnarled skin ripped a moan from him.
“It’s not horrid. Our bodies tell a story of who we are and what we’ve done.” He continued to kiss up to the band of Nolan’s briefs. “You’ve been through so much. That’s what I see.”
When Zack hooked his fingers around the elastic of Nolan’s briefs and looked up into his eyes, Nolan’s world came to a screeching halt. For the first time he really saw Zack, the man behind the mask, the person hiding behind the persona who fought the world. He saw the man who struggled with his emotions, who wanted more and better from his life, but didn’t know how to get it.
Nolan saw passion, determination, and lust—and it was all directed at him. “Fuck.”
Zack grinned. “I plan to.”
The remaining playfulness evaporated as Zack slid Nolan’s briefs down; the shock of air on his heated cock pulled another moan from him. It was clear that Zack had no intention of wooing him, of gently seducing him. No, with a gleam in his eyes, he leaned over and sucked on the tip of Nolan’s cock. Nolan’s fingers curled, squeezing the comforter in a vain attempt to keep from moving. Zack’s mouth worked him hard and fast, his tongue explored every inch of skin while his hands caressed Nolan’s scars.
All of Nolan’s fears about being with a lover and having them be repulsed by what they saw fell away. It didn’t matter to Zack, so there was no reason why it should matter to Nolan. He let his body relax and his mind drift. It was so easy to simply be, to feel pleasure in a way he hadn’t experienced in years.
“Yeah, that’s it.” Zack nipped the inside of his thigh. “Spread your legs for me.”
Jesus, he’s going to kill me. Not that he was about to stop Zack from doing what he wanted. Fuck that. Nolan let his legs fall open, exposing himself to Zack and his roaming hands.
“You’re so fucking hot.” Zack pulled back and went to work undressing. “I want to take you like that, on your back so I can see your face.”
Nolan groaned. “Yes.”
The next few minutes became a blur of movement, touching, the occasional frantic kiss. Yes, this was finally happening. He was ready and wanted nothing more than to feel Zack stretch him wide. The moment Zack kicked his own pants and briefs free and went in search of a condom in his nightstand drawer, Nolan’s arousal spiked. God, he wasn’t going to last long when they finally got around to the whole sex thing.
Zack rolled the condom on and climbed back on the bed, stretching out beside him. “You’re flushed.”
“I’m fucking horny.” His cock twitched to drive the point home.
Zack chuckled and ran a finger up the length of his shaft. “I think we need to slow things down a bit.”
“No. No slowing down.” He reached over and pulled Zack’s head down for a kiss. “Fuck me.”
“I will. In time.”
Nolan’s frustration tapered off as Zack continued the kiss, soft and steady. Stubble scratched his face as Zack deepened their contact. Zack leaned over him, half covering his body, cupping his face with large, warm hands. His brain lost the ability to form complete thoughts as his body became a live wire, sparking from every point of contact. The energy became warmth that filled every inch of his body. He’d heard people say that during sex they became one with their partner, that they underwent some sort of emotional merging. He’d always chalked that up to silly romanticizing . . . God, what an idiot he’d been.
When Zack broke the kiss and rubbed his nose against Nolan’s, the sudden rush of unexpected affection made it hard to breathe. How could one man become so utterly vital to his life, to his happiness, without his even realizing?
He swallowed down the hard lump in his throat. “Please.”
Zack caressed his cheek, frowning. “You okay?”
“Please.” He opened his legs again. “Please.”
Zack must have understood exactly what Nolan wanted. Without another word, he grabbed the bottle of lube from where he’d tossed it on the bed and squirted a generous amount on his fingers. Holding eye contact, he pressed a single finger into Nolan’s ass, pumping slowly enough to relax the muscles before adding a second.
“You’re so tight.” Zack placed a kiss to his chest.
“I’m ready.” To underline his point, Nolan thrust down on Zack’s fingers.
Zack’s eyes rolled up into his head. “You’re going to kill me.” Apparently, he was all for that death, because he moved between Nolan’s legs and pushed his knees up and wide, exposing his hole.
Nolan did his best to relax his body, but the mix of excitement, adrenaline, and lust was too much for him to fight. The first kiss of cock to hole pulled a sigh from him, his body shaking from anticipation. Zack slid his hands along the insides of Nolan’s thighs as he steadily inched forward. The stretch of muscles, the intimacy of the caress, the smell of Zack so present and all-encompassing made Nolan love drunk.
The further in Zack pressed, the louder his moans grew. “So. Tight.”
Nolan’s voice had fled, leaving his body the only method of communication. He bucked his hips, encouraging Zack on until he was finally balls-deep inside him. They stayed that way for a moment, eyes locked and bodies entwined. Nolan could barely breathe, was terrified to move in case he came. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening.
The muscles in Zack’s jaw twitched, and his fingers flexed around Nolan’s legs. That was the only warning he gave before he set a steady pace. Nolan’s cock lay heavy and hard against his stomach, leaking and begging to be touched. Zack’s gaze traveled down and locked on to it. Nolan knew if either of them touched it, the end would come rapidly. Still, with Zack’s gaze where it was, he couldn’t stop from wanting to give him everything.
Keeping his eyes on Zack, Nolan reached down and began to fist his shaft, stroking a counter-rhythm to Zack’s thrusts. “Not gonna last long.”
“Jesus.” Zack faltered briefly before he slammed into Nolan. “Fuck.”
The note of awe in Zack’s voice caught him off guard. Nolan’s hand flew over his cock as he felt his balls tighten, and he knew the end was approaching hard and fast. The first spurts of come shot across his stomach before his brain registered the initial burst of pleasure. Then every muscle tightened as wave after wave of orgasm rolled through him. It wasn’t enough, the sensation lacked something. Blindly, he reached up for Zack and pulled gently until he moved. “Please.”
With come now sliding between their bodies, Zack pressed his face to Nolan’s neck and moaned against him. Yes, that was what he’d needed, the feel of another person’s sweat against his skin. The smell of a man who wanted him for all the right reasons. The sounds of desire and sex against his ear, loud enough to rattle around his brain for the rest of his life.
Zack’s body tensed, his teeth scraped Nolan’s shoulder. Staccato thrusts pushed Nolan down into the mattress; firm muscles against his chest stole the air from his lungs. Zack shuddered, and nearly as quickly as everything had begun, it came crashing to a halt.
Once Nolan caught his breath, he ran his fingers back and forth along the planes of Zack’s shoulders. He made patterns in the sweat, dancing his fingertips across slick skin. He thought Zack might have drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t until the gentle kiss just below his ear that he realized Zack had been as settled into the moment as Nolan.
“Do you need me to move?” Zack pressed his nose further against him. “Am I hurting you?”
“I’m good.” For the first time in a very long time, he really was. A blanket of peace had slipped over him, and he knew that despite everything that had changed in his life, he would push on and would be okay.
They stayed there entwined so long that Nolan started to nap; he protested when Zack eventually slipped from his body. It earned him a nip to the end of his nose.
“Stop it. I need to get us cleaned up.”
“Overrated.” He rolled to his side and did his best to ignore the pain in his leg.
“You won’t say that when you’re picking dried come out of your stomach hair.”
“True.”
In the past, the few necessary minutes of cleanup had always felt awkward to Nolan. In a way, it was far more intimate than the sex itself. What they did and how they did it said a lot about his partners and what they thought about him. Gentle or efficient; playful or serious. He watched Zack pad to the bathroom, stripping the condom as he went, his tight ass a beacon in the light.