Nolan didn’t say anything, but Zack could see unshed tears building in his eyes.
“I know that sounds like it’s about me. I’m not saying it well. You . . . you’ve been through so much in the past few years. You’ve had to rebuild your life, changing the things that made you who you were. It didn’t stop you. I don’t think I’d have been able to rebuild my life the way you’ve had to, and still stay caring of others. It’s . . . inspiring. You make me want to be better. But I’m not good at saying it. If you come in, I can show you what I think of you, how much I’ve come to respect you. How much I want to make love to you.”
Nolan choked out a half sob, half laugh. “You suck at seduction.”
“I know.” He held out his hand. “I’ve always been a man of action.”
It took a moment, but Nolan finally slipped his hand into Zack’s. “Okay, then.”
Nolan’s heart pounded so hard in his chest he was terrified he’d have a heart attack before he saw this—whatever this was with Zack—through to its conclusion. Sex? Yeah, they were totally going to have proper naked sex, possibly even in a bed. If it were simply that, Nolan knew he wouldn’t be freaking out the way he currently was.
Nolan hadn’t felt so overwhelmed since his last visit to Frantic, and that hadn’t ended the way he’d hoped. If he wanted to avoid the descent into a full-blown panic attack, then he needed to catch his breath and go through his anxiety-reduction techniques.
If Zack was bothered by his damp hands, he didn’t say anything. Zack led him into the living room; big windows flanked by long gray curtains filled the far wall. Light spilled across the hardwood floor, creating beautiful patterns while bits of dust sparkled in the beams. Aside from that, the condo was clean and hardly looked lived in. Nolan turned around and took in as much as he could. There was a lingering scent of furniture polish or some other cleaning supply. Having seen how messy Zack’s office got, Nolan had no doubt he paid for a cleaning service here.
There wasn’t a lot of personality, nothing that screamed out Zack Anderson lives here, see! But the generic look of the space had a calming effect on Nolan; it seemed like neutral territory. He felt some tension drain from his shoulders, and realized his breathing had already slowed down. His heart still raced, but not from panic.
The honk of cars on the streets below easily reached him, as did the click and whir of the fridge compressor coming on.
He felt Zack move behind him, noted the smell of his aftershave and the lingering scent of the sausage they’d eaten.
“Let me take your coat.”
Warm hands slid Nolan’s suit coat from his shoulders, fingers grazing his arms as Zack freed him from the material. The heat that had encased him since they’d climbed into the cab dissipated, leaving his nipples hard from the change. Hot breath tickled the back of his neck, making it nearly impossible for him to concentrate on anything beyond Zack.
He was only vaguely aware of Zack tossing the jacket somewhere behind them. He was more focused on the press of Zack’s body against his back, the gentle caress of fingertips along his sides, and the subtle thrust of a hard cock against his ass.
“Can I get you anything?” Zack’s voice was a rumble beside his ear. His fingers ghosted to Nolan’s stomach to tease the skin hiding beneath his shirt. “A drink?”
“No.”
Zack moved both hands to Nolan’s waistband. “Do you need me to stop?”
“God, no.” He didn’t know what might happen beyond this day, past this moment. He wasn’t willing to stop or even pause, for fear that they’d never have another chance.
Sure fingers began to work the front of his pants open. Hands brushed across the fabric of his briefs, sending chills through Nolan and making his cock impossibly hard. Unlike their previous times together, there was no sense of urgency or danger. There was no risk of them getting caught, or running out of time.
His anxiety didn’t threaten to rear up and ruin what could possibly be the best moment of his recent life. He gave himself permission to relax and simply be with Zack, enjoy their stolen time together in the middle of the day. He leaned against Zack’s chest and let his head fall back until it rested on Zack’s shoulder.
A soft groan was punctuated by a roll of Zack’s hips. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. I’ve jerked off nightly remembering what we’ve done together. I want more. Always more.”
Briefly, Nolan thought he might pass out. No one had ever said these things to him before, had wanted him for anything more than a few dates. He felt special, and the fact that these words were being spoken by a man like Zack made it all the more special.
Fingers at his throat, working his tie open, had Nolan swallowing hard. When Zack began to work open his shirt buttons, he held his breath and tried to memorize each brush against his throat.
Zack took his time, teasing Nolan’s chest as he nipped and licked at his neck. His cock stiffened more at the sound of Zack’s clothing against his, the occasional catch of Zack’s breath, the press of Zack’s erection against his ass.
Shit, this was really going to happen.
“What do you like? What do you want?” Zack rubbed his thumb across Nolan’s nipple. “Do you want me to tease you?”
He chuckled. “I think any teasing you’d do is likely to kill me.”
“That sounds like a challenge.”
“It so wasn’t.”
“Fairly certain it was.” Zack nipped the side of his neck. “A chance to see if I can make my resourceful, sexy assistant come apart before I fuck him senseless. That’s a challenge I’ll happily take.”
God, he was so screwed.
Still pressed against his back, Zack directed him toward a hallway. “Bedroom is that way.”
A bed was a good idea. “That’s the best plan you’ve had all week.” Nolan reached back awkwardly and squeezed Zack’s ass.
If Zack had another smart-ass comeback, he didn’t manage to get it out before he moaned against Nolan. The gentle prodding to move quickly became commanding shoves. There was only so much either of them could take, and apparently Zack was close to his limit.
Which was a good thing because Nolan didn’t know how long he’d last with all of this stimulation.
The walk to Zack’s bedroom was made challenging by his loosened pants. They shuffled along as they stole kisses and touches until Zack pushed open the bedroom door. This was the one room Nolan had assumed would contain something of Zack, but it was much the same as the rest of his place: neat and slightly impersonal. Maybe he didn’t spend much time here and simply never got around to decorating it to his liking. Still, something about it broke Nolan’s heart.
“What is going on in that brain of yours?” Zack turned him around and looked right into his eyes. “You stiffened up. Do you want me to stop?”
“No!” He laughed and shook his head. “Not at all. I was surprised at how . . . how . . .” He waved his hand around the room. “Doesn’t scream Zack.”
Zack responded with an eye roll and shoved him onto the bed. “Please criticize my home after sex. I promise you’ll see it in a better light when we’re done.” He started on his clothing, holding Nolan’s gaze as he did.
There was no way Nolan could have looked away, even if he’d wanted to.
As far as he was concerned, there was nothing more intimate than watching a man get undressed. It didn’t matter if they were putting on a show or not; for Nolan, the act of stripping off the layers, leaving no barriers between them, showed a level of trust he cherished. Zack, more than any other person he knew, constantly lived behind a wall. He’d caught glimpses of the man hidden beneath the fortifications in their previous stolen moments. But here and now, watching Zack undo each button as he revealed inch after inch of his firm chest, Nolan knew everything would be on display.
The soft whoosh of cotton falling to the floor registered somewhere in Nolan’s head, but most of his attention was trained on his first sight of a half-naked Zack. Dark chest hair covered firm pecs, trailing down to dust a six-pack. Shit, Nolan had known Zack was fit, had felt as much before, but sitting in front of him—eyes to abs—was a nearly religious experience.
The vision also severely contrasted with Nolan’s broken body.
“I’ve never had sex with someone as hot as you.” Nolan hesitated, but finally reached out and trailed his fingers across Zack’s stomach. “How are you even real?”
“I’m very real and far from perfect.” Zack cupped Nolan’s cheek, caressing the skin with his thumb. “You of all people should know that.”
Turning his face into Zack’s hand, Nolan kissed his palm. “I think we’re talking too much.”
“I think you’re right.” Zack gently pushed Nolan’s shoulders until he was lying on his back. “Now, where was I?”
Nolan grinned. “Getting naked?”
“You first.”
His pants were already undone, so when Zack reached down to slide them off his legs, there was little he could do to slow the process. It didn’t matter that Zack had already seen his scars; the moment the cool air brushed across the exposed skin, Nolan’s heart pounded and his throat tightened.