He shouldn’t be this happy, shouldn’t whistle as he walked to the elevator, smiling at the people as he passed. The past few years had taught him to mistrust optimism. But it was hard to be gloomy when things were finally going his way. This morning before he’d left for work, Tina had told him she was finally moving to Vancouver.
“I’m sorry I was a jerk to you. I guess I was scared you wouldn’t need me anymore. They said if I still want the position, they need me on a plane tomorrow. So . . . I guess this is it.”
How could Tina think for even a moment that he wouldn’t need her any longer? She was his big sister and best friend. She would always be the first person he’d call whenever something happened.
By the end of next week, the movers would have her things packed up and he’d be on his own. His heart had pounded in his chest the entire way to work, not from fear but from pure excitement. It was as though he’d finally earned back the right to resume his life as an adult. Tina was excited to be starting her new job, and his parents weren’t calling daily worried about him. Even his job had smoothed out.
His days of dealing with soul-crushing anxiety every time he walked into the building were tapering off the longer he worked at Compass. Maybe, given enough time, he really would learn how to live with this the way his counselor had promised him he would.
No need to get ahead of things. There were still plenty of complications to deal with at work.
He’d spent most of the previous night thinking about what Zack had said to him. Remembering the way Zack had gently moved his hair away and looked without disgust at his scar. In those few minutes, something had shifted deep in his chest, as though a weight had moved from his soul. There hadn’t been judgment in Zack’s eyes, or anything that made Nolan feel like less of a man for the changes to his body.
For the first time since before the accident, he once again felt like a sexual being. Not only as an impulsive reaction, soon to be regretted, but with anticipation and intent.
It was wonderful.
Zack was in the office ahead of him. He dropped his things off on his desk and popped his head into Zack’s office. “I thought you weren’t coming in this morning? I was doing nothing when I could have been working.”
“I’m technically not here.” Zack smiled at him. “I’m doing departmental reviews and didn’t want to be bothered.”
“Oh. Sorry.” He didn’t think of himself as a pest. Maybe he’d have to work on that more—
“Not you. But if people see you sitting at the desk, then they come and chat, even if they think I’m gone. This way you got to sleep in, and I got to work uninterrupted.” He leaned back in his seat. “Come in so someone doesn’t spot you. Shut the door.”
A shiver passed through Nolan. Things had calmed between them after Ms. Rollins had stormed into the office—the benefit of having a common foe. He’d kept his distance though, not sure exactly how he’d respond if things were to get intimate again. He wasn’t uncomfortable or threatened. He was more concerned he’d be the one to take the next step, to react without thinking and kiss Zack. That would be a mistake, for all sorts of reasons.
It couldn’t be excitement that spread through his body as he stepped inside and pressed the door shut. Nor was it anticipation as he cleared his throat and took a seat. It certainly wasn’t arousal, because that would be inappropriate given what had passed between them. Honestly, he didn’t know what he was feeling.
All of that. None of it. “What’s up?” He should have noticed the moment he walked in, but now he was surprised when he saw how tired Zack looked. “How late were you working last night?”
Zack glanced at the clock. “I haven’t gone home yet.”
“Are you insane?” Nolan ignored his protests, grabbed his coffee mug, and left to refill it. On his way back he snagged an energy shot that he kept in his desk for emergencies. “Drink this. Tastes awful, but it’ll give you a boost.”
“Thanks.” Zack’s smile didn’t make it to his eyes as he downed the energy shot. “Shit.”
“Told you. The coffee makes a good chaser.”
Zack breathed in the coffee fumes before taking a sip. “I’m glad you’re here now.”
“Couldn’t get your own coffee?”
Zack scowled at him. “I need your help.”
“Of course. With anything.”
“I need your help to fire people.”
Nolan shook his head. “That didn’t work out so well for us last time.”
“I know. And I appreciate that it’s not an easy thing to do. But I’ve looked at the numbers, and I’m not sure I can cut costs any other way. I don’t have time to pore through and tweak every line item in this budget until I’ve freed up enough to keep everyone on. Not while also sorting through the mess with purchasing.”
Their office was small, and it was Nolan’s job to know what was going on in Zack’s professional life. He’d heard the rumblings from Nancy as well, so it didn’t come as that much of a surprise. That didn’t make the idea any more welcome. “There’s no other way?”
Zack ran his hand down his face. “That’s what I’ve spent the last week looking at. Departmental budgets have come in, and I’ve been reviewing all capital expenditures. No one will admit to not needing something. I can throw it back to them and tell them to slash twenty percent of their nonpayroll expenditures, but I’m not sure I trust them, and I still wouldn’t have time to review their reprioritized budgets.”
“So you want my help to review everything?”
“No, I know this isn’t your area of expertise. But you’re an organizational master. You’ve found files and resources in the past month that I didn’t know existed. If I’m going to find a way to save money, to save these jobs, then I’m going to need your help to dig.”
“What about Chopra’s proposal? Were you able to find any merit in that?”
“No. The prices were lower on hardware, but the technical specs were all wrong. Small changes to accommodate cost can have huge performance issues for our developers. Chopra should know that.” Zack sighed and leaned back in his chair. “There has to be something I’ve missed.”
In the month since he’d started the job, Nolan had experienced an array of Zack’s moods. This was the first time he’d heard pleading. “Anything you need, I’m here to help.”
Zack nodded, looking more than a little tired. “It’s going to mean more late nights. Later than usual. I don’t want your sister to be upset with me that I’m pushing you too much.”
“Tina is moving to Vancouver. She flies out tomorrow, and her things will be following her by the end of the week. I’m officially on my own.”
“Ah. That’s good. I’m assuming that’s good?”
Nolan smiled. “Yes, it’s good.”
“Well, if you feel up to it . . . Don’t worry about transportation, I’ll drive you home if need be. There will also be meals.” Zack looked away and began to sort through the stack of file folders on his desk. “Why don’t you get started with these? Read through and see if they’re missing any supporting documentation.”
Nolan’s brain was still stuck on the whole meals thing. Their last shared meal—the sort-of-date leading to the revelation about Ringside—seemed like a lifetime ago. “I’ll have a report by the end of the week.”
“Thank you.”
His feet carried him out of Zack’s office as if by magic. It shouldn’t strike him as that strange for Zack to offer to drive him home and feed him, especially if they were going to be working extra-long hours. It was the sign of a good employer, the sign of Zack being a good person, wanting to make sure he was looked after. There wasn’t any reason to read more into it than that.
He picked up the phone and gave Tina a call. “Hey.”
“Hey, you. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to let you know that it looks like I’m going to have a late night.”
“Later than normal? God, you’d think you staying until seven most nights would be good enough.”
“Special circumstance. We have a major project to get done and it’s all hands on deck. Sorry to miss your last night home, though.”
“It’s okay. I’ll be back next weekend anyway to make sure I’ve gotten everything out of the place. Let me know if you need a ride.”
“That’s taken care of.”
“The boss?”
“Yup.”
He didn’t need to see her face to know she was grinning. “Ah, it’s one of those late work nights.”
“Tina—”
“No, no, I get it. Just take it easy and make sure he walks you to the door when you’re done.”
“Ass.”
“I love you too!”
He hung up and pulled open one of the files with a sigh. Ruler in hand, he began the arduous task of going line by line through the first of many budget sheets.
Shortly after his conversation with Nolan, Zack had decided to take drastic measures: he’d pulled a team of managers and subject-matter experts together and sequestered them in a conference room with explicit instructions not to leave until they figured out how to cut costs across all their departments with minimal job reduction.