Nolan looked where Zack pointed, to a faded poster on the wall. The paper was water-stained, and the lower half of the page had been torn off. He could barely make out the words on a few lines:
2) If the manager is wrong, refer to rule 1.
3) Don’t forget your towel. Use it!
4) Put all equipment back in the proper place after use.
Nolan smiled to think of Zack and his friends, and tons of other kids over the years, policing each other on replacing weights and wiping down sweaty benches. Caring for the place that gave them an escape from more serious concerns. He could only imagine how special this place had been to so many. No wonder Zack wanted to bring it back to life.
“I’ve never been in an old-school gym like this. Or a boxing ring. I’m not exactly the athletic type.” Ignoring the dirt on the ropes and the pain in his leg, Nolan carefully climbed up into the ring. “What can I do to help?”
“Nothing.”
Nolan snorted. “Please. You can’t undertake a project of this magnitude alone. I’ve seen your work calendar, remember. You’ll need someone to do some running around for you, set up meetings with city inspectors, get an estimate for construction costs—”
“No.”
“You need to have an estimate for something like this before you can approach investors. They’ll want to—”
“I said no.”
Nolan snapped his mouth shut and turned to face Zack. This shouldn’t be a big deal. He might be new to being an assistant, he might not know everything he needed to if he was going to help with this, but he wasn’t an idiot. He’d proven himself capable. But before he could open his mouth to say any of that, he looked Zack in the eyes.
Instead of the cocksure executive he’d grown used to, there stood a man who appeared to be stripped of all defenses. If Nolan didn’t know any better, he’d have thought Zack was scared, or at the very least unsure of what to do next. That wasn’t the man he’d come to know over the past month.
That said, he knew he wasn’t the most perceptive of people lately. He’d gone through so much in the last few years that he’d kind of become blind to other people’s problems. Stuck in a mire of uncertainty for months on end, working through both physical and emotional pain, never knowing if the next thing he’d do would set off his anxiety, he’d drawn his focus inward and it was hard to reverse that.
But not with Zack. Nolan had come to know his moods, to understand his underlying currents. This uncertainty was so out of character for him, Nolan could only assume that the gym meant more to Zack than he would acknowledge.
Looking down at his feet, Nolan bounced a bit on the canvas. “This isn’t exactly as I pictured it being. It’s harder than I realized.”
“You need something that’s firm underfoot but able to cushion your fall when you go down.”
“I’d be on my ass a lot.” Taking some larger than normal steps, he did his best imitation of a boxer, landing awkward punches on floating dust motes. “God, I’d suck at this.”
“Most people do when they first start. Once you get some training, it can be a great way to get out your frustrations and get into shape.”
Nolan couldn’t imagine taking up a sport that involved him hitting people—even before the accident, he’d never have thought to try it. “I’m more of a lover than a fighter.”
“Don’t know about that, but you’re not a bad kisser.” Zack laughed when he looked over at him. “You’re cute when you’re surprised.”
“I’m not.” The ache in his leg started up, and he reached down to rub at it.
“Are you in pain?”
“A bit. It sometimes happens at the end of a long day.” His physiotherapist had warned him there was only so much they could do to get him back to normal. The pain would always be a part of his life, and he was learning to manage it as best he could. He’d made a point not to complain. When he did slip up and mention it, Tina tended to fuss over him, but Zack . . .
Zack was his boss.
“Never play poker.” Zack made his way across the canvas, looking as comfortable on the surface as Nolan felt awkward. “Every thought you have flits across your face for the world to see.”
Nolan cringed. “Yes, I learned that the hard way.” With only a short distance between them, Zack’s warmth and scent wrapped around him. “Don’t think I don’t know you’ve totally changed the subject. I could be a big help, and it looks like you need it.”
“You changed the subject, actually. I can’t bring you into this, Nolan. I . . . You’re not . . .” Zack growled. “You’re my employee. Asking you to work on this place is so outside the acceptable range of what’s appropriate, even I can’t justify it.”
Nolan couldn’t be certain, but there seemed more to Zack’s dismissal than Nolan simply being his employee. He seemed almost protective of the gym. Or maybe of himself. “You didn’t ask. I offered. I assume your plan is to help other LGBTQ teens? Not just the ones who need it for anger management?”
“That was the plan. Max wanted to have a girls-only group as well. His sister spent a lot of time here in high school, and she’d make a great coach.”
Nolan found himself taking another step closer, shrinking the nominal space between them even more. “See, then that is something I’d want to be a part of. I’m not asking to be a joint owner or anything. I don’t have the money for that. But this place could be important and help a lot of people. I’m more than happy to volunteer my time to get it going.”
Zack’s gaze slipped from Nolan’s to land on his mouth. “You’re going to do all that on top of helping me with the problems at Compass? You’d be stretched too thin, and I need you focused at work.”
Nolan’s heart raced, and he had to swallow hard before he could get the rest out. God, this was the sort of thing that he’d longed to be a part of for years, even before the accident. He wanted to contribute, to touch the lives of people who struggled, make things better, make things right. “I know you might find this hard to believe, but I think I could be a real help to you . . . to the gym. I want to.”
The air between them was warm, heavy with unspoken words and charged with sexual tension. With something else, too, that was new to Nolan. He didn’t just want Zack for sex, but to spend time with. He wanted to keep conversing, keep bantering, even if it was more intense than he was used to. He loved that Zack never treated him with kid gloves, despite having witnessed more than one of his attacks; he didn’t baby Nolan or think he couldn’t do his job.
Then there had been the kiss, and the dinner. Clearly at least some aspects of the attraction were reciprocal, and if Zack didn’t want to be around Nolan more, he wouldn’t have invited him to share a meal.
It didn’t make sense that Zack didn’t want him involved with this.
Did it?
Zack took another step so there was barely an inch separating them; he reached up and cupped the back of Nolan’s head, but didn’t pull him in for the kiss Nolan desperately wanted. Their eyes locked, and Nolan lost all awareness of everything else around them. The truth was, Zack had become the center of his life in such a short time he was completely overwhelmed; that alone should probably have made him wary, but it didn’t.
Fighting his impulses to kiss, touch, grab, Nolan instead whispered, “Let me help you.”
Zack cupped the back of Nolan’s head with his other hand. “I’m scared of what that would mean.”
“Whatever you need it to mean.”
“I’m not a nice man.”
“I’m a broken man. We seem to get along just fine.”
“This is different.” Zack’s eyes slipped closed for a moment as he sighed. “I don’t want to break you any more than you are.”
“You won’t.”
“You don’t know that. I could. I’ve already pushed you to the edge once. I wouldn’t want to do that again.”
Jesus, what a stubborn ass. Nolan leaned in so his lips brushed Zack’s. “You also pulled me back from the edge. Twice.” Closing his eyes, he kissed Zack softly.
Zack’s fingers flexed against the back of Nolan’s head, but didn’t move him any more. Nolan could feel his body shaking through those simple points of contact, knowing Zack was holding back. It was fine, this was good. The gentle pressure of lips and fingers only highlighted the passion Nolan knew simmered below the surface. He knew how good things were when the longing exploded, but it was equally good to experience the gentle side of Zack.
Wanting to tease, he dipped his tongue out and ran it along the seam of Zack’s lips. He did it again until Zack relented and opened his mouth. Fingers tightened in his hair. Nolan’s cock hardened as he rubbed against Zack’s. Memories of their all too brief previous kiss roared back, sending his arousal through the roof.
Mutual pants, gasps, and the sound of the canvas creaking beneath their feet filled Nolan’s ears. Zack was warm as Nolan moved his fingers beneath his suit jacket to run along the folds of his dress shirt. He wanted this man like he hadn’t wanted anyone in years. It was wrong and amazing and all the things Nolan didn’t think he’d ever experience again.