'Whatever problems he and your mother had doesn't mean that the two of you can't form a bond. Your mother has turned you against him and I believe that often happens in acrimonious breakups, but their problems are not yours. He has a responsibility towards you.'
'No, he doesn't. I'm an adult.'
'At least he might be able to shed light on what went wrong. He owes it to you to tell you his side of the story.'
'I know his side of the story.' Why, oh why, had she ever allowed this conversation to advance so far? 'I'm happy as I am. I'm too old to adapt to having a dad in my life now. Oh look, more gazelle!' Trying to distract him, she waved her arm but all that achieved was to scare the horses and almost land her on her bottom in the sand.
Keeping his hand on her reins, Mal steadied both horses. 'You are such an intelligent woman. I cannot understand why this issue affects you so badly. You are surrounded by evidence of good relationships. Why must you only focus on the bad?'
Avery rubbed her hand over the mare's soft coat. This she could talk about and maybe if she gave him this, he'd be satisfied and let the rest of it go. 'My mother wasn't what you'd call a hands-on mother.' That had to be the understatement of the year. 'She encouraged me to be independent, so pretty much the only time we met up was dinner in the evening. Five minutes were spent reviewing my grades, and after that she talked about her work, which basically meant that I listened to a million ways for a marriage to die. Every night my mother would talk about her day because she believed it was important that I understood exactly how a relationship could go wrong. I heard about the impact of affairs, job losses, gambling, alcoholism, addictions-lots of those in different subsections-I heard about the corrosive effects of lack of trust, about the impact of not listening … the list goes on.' It had seeped into her, becoming part of her. 'I was one of the few five-year-olds in the land who understood the legal definition of "unreasonable behaviour" before I'd even learned to add. Do you want me to carry on? Because I have endless experience, gathered from eighteen years of living at home.'
'And did she ever describe any of the ways a successful relationship could work?' There were layers of steel beneath his mild tone. 'Did she ever talk about that?'
Avery stared straight ahead, through her mare's twitching ears.
There was no sound except the metallic jingle of the bridles and the soft creak of leather.
'No,' she said. 'She never talked about that.'
'Did you have boyfriends?'
'Yes, but I never brought them home. She always believed that most of the factors that contributed to a breakup of a relationship could be easily predicted and she wouldn't have hesitated to point them out.'
'So you were trained to spot the potential pitfalls. You don't enter a relationship waiting for it to go right, but waiting for it to go wrong.'
'I suppose so. But given that a significant proportion do go wrong, that's not as mad as it sounds.'
'It sounds like a shocking upbringing for the child of a single mother and it is no wonder you are so wary of relationships.'
'There is nothing wrong with being the child of a single mother.'
'Agreed. But there is plenty wrong with a single mother who chooses to poison her daughter's mind against men based on nothing but her own prejudices.' The stallion shied at some imaginary threat, leaping sideways, nostrils flared. Mal sat firm, soothing the animal with firm hands and a gentle voice.
It took him a moment to calm the animal, a moment during which she had plenty of time to dwell on the strength of his shoulders and the strength of him.
Only when he'd calmed the stallion did he look at her again. 'In my opinion she had a moral duty to bring you up with a balanced view of relationships, particularly given that you didn't have an example of a positive one in your own household. You spent your formative years living alongside stories of couples at the most miserable point of their relationship.'
'Yes.' It was the first time she'd truly acknowledged the effect it had had on her. 'I think that's the reason I went into party planning. The end of a relationship was terrifying, but the beginning-that was exciting. I loved glittering events, the dressing up, the possibilities-'
'Possibilities?'
'Yes, so many possibilities, even if only for the short-term. I know that at my parties, people are happy. I make sure they're happy, even if that is only transitory. Talking of which, I assume you want me to cancel arrangements for the wedding party?' Her fingers were sweaty on the reins but she told herself it was just the heat.
He stared at her for a long moment, thick lashes framing those eyes that made women lose their grip on reality. 'No. Not yet.'
'But-'
'You were the one who wanted to ride.' He released her reins and urged the stallion forwards. 'Let's ride.'
CHAPTER EIGHT
THEY made love in the still waters of their secluded pool under the warm glow of the setting sun. Afterwards, they dined overlooking the dunes, their private feast illuminated by flickering candles.
They hadn't spent enough time like this, he thought. The madness of their lives had interfered with their relationship. It had prevented the intimacy needed to develop trust.
'You look beautiful in that dress.' He topped up her glass with the chilled champagne he knew was her favourite.
'I suppose you think you're clever for producing it in the middle of the desert?'
'Not clever, no. Fortunate. And not the wardrobe part, that was easy, but the fact that you are here to wear it.' He'd never been so unsure of a relationship. Never so unsure of a woman. 'I wasn't sure you'd stay.'
'The Crown Prince of Zubran not sure of someone or something? This must be a whole new experience.' Her eyes teased him and he had to force himself to stay in his seat and not rush this. Timing was everything. And his timing had been wrong before.
'It is a fairly new experience. And not one I'm enjoying.'
'You know your problem?' Glass in hand, she leaned forward, the movement accentuating the tempting dip between her breasts. 'Life has been too easy for you. Your playboy past has spoiled you. You've had it easy.'
'My father and my late uncle would agree with you, but you'd all be wrong.'
She put her glass down and rested her chin on her palm, studying him across the table. 'When has a woman ever said no to you?'
'You did.'
The humour in her eyes faded. The caution that was never far from the surface reappeared, and she sat up and dropped her hands into her lap. 'You don't like to be crossed. You like to get your own way. That's probably what this is all about.'
'That is not what is going on here and you know it.'
'Have you ever had to work at a relationship with a woman?'
'Is that a serious question?' He heard the irony in his tone. 'Because if it is, I think you already know the answer to that.'
Her fingers slid slowly round the base of her glass. 'You're a complicated man, Mal.'
'This from a woman renowned for keeping her relationships superficial.'
'A sensible strategy. For some reason I didn't apply it with you and look how that turned out.'
'All relationships have rocky moments.'
'Well, forgive me if I chose not to become another ship wrecked on your shores, Your Highness.' Her tone was flippant but there was a bleakness in her eyes that tore at him and suddenly he knew he had to risk more if he was expecting that of her.
'I'm sorry I hurt you. That was never my intention.'
'I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse.'
'Better. I was so in love with you.' Admitting it was hard, particularly as he'd been raised not to share his thoughts and feelings outside the family circle. But he wanted her to be his family and he knew if there was to be any hope of that, he had to give. 'I'd never felt that way about a woman before. I'd never been in love. It scared me as much as it scared you because it changed everything. I wasn't prepared for it.'
Neither of them took any notice of the meal. The food remained untouched and forgotten on the table between them.
'I know-' her mouth flickered '-you needed a virgin princess.'
'It was you I needed.' His tone was raw. 'You. From the first day I met you, in charge of that enormous event and yet so cool that I could have put ice on you and it wouldn't have melted. I'd been careful, so careful, about choosing the women I spent time with.'
'Your reputation suggests otherwise.'
'My reputation only tells one part of the story.'
She toyed with the stem of her glass. 'Let's face it, Mal, you wanted me because I wasn't impressed by your rank or the size of your wallet. I was turned off by it because in the past I've found that men like you generally think they have a free pass when it comes to women. I said no. And you were arrogant enough to see me as a challenge.'