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Woman in a Sheikh's World(25)

By:Sarah Morgan


'Not impossible.'

'We want different things.'

'Then we will compromise. It is just a question of negotiation.'

'In other words you'll bully me until you get your own way.'

They were in the living area now, with its sumptuous furniture and  breathtaking views of the desert but neither of them was conscious of  their surroundings. Just each other. Avery snatched her hand from his  and took refuge in the furthest corner of the sofa, as far away from him  as possible.

'What time is the helicopter arriving to pick me up?'

'It's not.' He paused, unwilling to give her the option to leave but  knowing that he would never keep this woman by binding her to his side.  'But if you still want the helicopter when we have finished this  conversation to the satisfaction of both parties then I will fly you  home myself. Fair?'                       
       
           



       

Her eyes skidded to his and then away. 'Go on then, Your Highness. Slay me with your superior negotiation techniques.'

This time he didn't hesitate. 'You accuse me of being insensitive, and I  admit the charge but you share some of the blame because I had no clue  as to the depth of your feelings. You never told me. You were so busy  protecting yourself-'

'-something I was obviously right to do.'

'No. If you'd trusted me-if we'd understood each other better-' He felt a  rush of exasperation as he remembered how much she'd held back. 'Every  time I tried to talk to you I came up against this tough, competent,  ball-breaking businesswoman. Nothing could shatter that shield you put  between yourself and the world.'

'It's not a shield. It's who I am.'

'It's a shield. Why do you think I asked you to organise my wedding party?'

'I thought we were already in agreement on that one. Because you're  insensitive.' Her tone was flippant but he saw the pain in her eyes and  that pain was matched by his.

'You cut me off.' His tone was raw, his grip on control as slippery as  it always was around this woman. 'You didn't even give me the right to  reply. You just told me that you weren't prepared to make the  "sacrifice" necessary to be my wife-a point which, by the way, hurt  almost as much as the realisation that you were not prepared to fight  for the survival of our relationship.'

'Relationships end, Mal. It's a fact of life. Fighting just prolongs the inevitable.'

'Some relationships end.' He realised just how deeply he'd underestimated the level of her insecurities. 'Others endure.'

'If I want endurance, I'll run a marathon.'

Sensing that the way was blocked, he shifted his approach. 'I once  considered you the most open-minded, educated, impressive woman in my  acquaintance but on the subject of marriage you are blinkered and deeply  prejudiced. How did I not realise that sooner?'

'If this is an elaborate way of shifting blame for the fact that you  were cruel enough to force me to plan the celebrations for your wedding  to another woman, then you'll need to work harder. I am not to blame for  your shortcomings.'

'You didn't even afford me the courtesy of a face to face conversation.  You just told me it was over. You refused to speak to me until that  final phone call, the details of which are welded in my brain.' He had  the satisfaction of seeing her shift slightly. 'That's right. The one  when you told me that the only way I was going to be able to speak to  you again was if I booked you in a professional capacity. So that's what  I did. I booked you.' He watched as the truth settled home. Watched as  she acknowledged her part in what had happened.

'I didn't mean it literally.'

'Well, I took it literally.'

'You chose to marry another woman,' she snapped, 'and you expect me to  believe that you were broken-hearted? Sorry, but look at the evidence  from my point of view. I hear from someone else that we are getting  married and that I'm giving up my job, and your response when I say "no"  to that less than appealing prospect is to immediately propose to  someone else. That merely confirmed everything I already knew about the  transitory nature of relationships.'

It all came back to that, he thought and realised that this was the  moment he should tell her the truth about his engagement to Kalila. But  if he told her, it would be over and he wasn't ready to let her go  without a fight. 'I believed our relationship was at an end.' He dragged  his hand over the back of his neck, forcing himself to relive those  horrible months. 'I thought that was it.'

'And it didn't take you long to recover, did it? If you cared about me that much, why did you ask Kalila to marry you?'

'I didn't ask her. Our marriage was arranged by the Council. That was  the deal I made with my father.' That much, at least, was true. All that  was missing was the detail.

'The deal?'

'I told him I wanted to marry you-' he sat down on the sofa next to her  and took it as a positive sign that she didn't immediately leap out of  her seat '-and he predicted that you would refuse.'

She studied her fingernails. 'Your father is a wise man, I always said  so, but I fail to see how even he would know that without consulting  me.'

'He met you. You'd charmed him as you charm everyone you meet, but he  also saw the problems. Perhaps he saw things I was not prepared to  confront. He warned me that the sacrifice required would be too great  for a woman like you. And it turned out he was right. Because I couldn't  marry you, it didn't matter to me who I married. So I let them make the  arrangements they wanted to make.'                       
       
           



       

Silence spread across the room. She lifted her gaze to his.

'You could have said no.'

No, he couldn't have said no.

Mal felt tension spread across his shoulders. 'Why would I? I have to  marry. That point is not in question. My father is not in good health  and yet under his rule Zubran has achieved an unprecedented level of  stability and progress. Our economy is strong, I am taking over more and  more of his role and ultimately I will be responsible for the country's  future. That is a huge responsibility, but one that I'm prepared for.'  He breathed deeply. 'But the prospect would have been more appealing had  I been able to do it with you by my side. That was what I wanted.'

Something that might have been shock flickered in those blue eyes.

She tucked her legs under her and made herself smaller. 'So now you're telling me that? Your timing sucks, Your Highness.'

'I would have to agree with that.'

'Why didn't you say it before?'

'Because you would have run faster than a stallion in the Zubran Derby.'

The corners of her mouth flickered. Her lips curved. Those lovely lips that he couldn't look at without wanting to kiss them.

'So you suffered when we broke up?'

'Greatly.'

'Good.' There was a gleam in her eyes. 'Because if I went through hell I'd hate to think that you got away free.'

'Believe me, I didn't. I asked you to arrange the wedding party in a  last-ditch attempt to get some response from you. A small part of me  still hoped that you had feelings for me and I assumed that if you had  feelings for me then you would refuse to take the business because it  would be too difficult for you to plan an event that celebrated my  wedding to another woman.'

'I can't believe you asked me to do that. It was a terrible thing to do. A sign of a sick mind.'

'Or the sign of a desperate man.' He stretched his arm along the back of  the sofa. 'I hoped that by being forced to communicate with me,  eventually you would crack and admit how you felt.'

'You thought I'd ruin someone else's relationship? You really don't know  me very well. I wouldn't touch a man who was engaged to someone else.'

'Kalila didn't want this marriage any more than I did. She probably  would have been grateful if I'd been the one to back out because it  would have saved her from doing it and risking the wrath of her father.  And that's enough of that topic. I've had enough of talking about Kalila  and the past and the total and utter mess we made of something special.  I want to talk about last night.'

'Last night was last night. It doesn't change anything.'

'Last night I saw the real you. And the real you confessed that you  dream about me.' Mal drew her to her feet and this time she didn't  resist. 'Have I told you that you look cute in my shirt?'

'Stop trying to soften me up.' But her breathing wasn't quite steady.  'We can't do this, Mal. I can't do this.' Her voice shook and he  realised the fragility of what he was holding in his hands.

'Yes, you can. This is one of those occasions when you're supposed to face your fears.'

Face your fears.

He made it sound so easy and yet it was the scariest thing she'd ever faced.

'You think I'd risk letting you hurt me twice? Do I look stupid?'

'I didn't hurt you the first time. At least not intentionally, and you are at least partially to blame for that fiasco.'

'It's not a fiasco, it's a relationship. That's what happens in  relationships. They break. It's a question of how, not whether.' Avery  pulled away from him and wrapped her arms around herself. She was still  wearing the shirt she'd grabbed and suddenly she regretted not getting  dressed and putting on make-up because somehow it was easier to project a  different side to herself when she was wearing her warpaint. 'People  start off optimistically, thinking that nothing can go wrong, and then  eventually it starts to fall apart. The only unknown factor is how and  when.'