She'd planned to sleep in the furthest corner of the tent but here he was, lying next to her, holding her. And it felt good.
Too good.
She could feel the brush of his leg against hers and the warmth of his body as he held her in the curve of his arm. The faint glow of light from the torch simply increased the feeling of intimacy.
'For God's sake Mal, move over,' she muttered, 'you're in my personal space.'
'I'm worried about you.'
Her stomach flipped because no one had ever worried about her in her life before. 'Don't be. I don't like the idea you're waiting for me to drop dead. And you certainly don't need to hold me.'
'You're the one holding me.' He kept his eyes closed, those dark lashes inky black against his cheek. 'You did it in your sleep, because you just can't accept help when you're awake.'
'That's because I don't need help when I'm awake.'
'Right. And I suppose you didn't "need help" last night when you used me as a climbing frame?'
'That was different. We were invaded by scorpions and if it's all right with you I'd like to forget about last night.' She wanted to forget all of it, especially this. She wondered why he was still holding her when the safe and sensible thing to do would have been to let her go.
'How long have you been having bad dreams?'
'I don't have bad dreams.'
'You had a bad dream. That's how you ended up clinging to me.'
Embarrassment washed over her like burning liquid. 'If I had a bad dream last night then it must have been a scorpion-venom-induced nightmare.' She tried to pull away but he was stronger than she was and he held her tightly.
'It wasn't scorpions you were talking about in your sleep.'
She'd been talking in her sleep? Could this get any worse? She wanted to ask if she'd spoken his name, but didn't want to hear the answer and anyway it was impossible to concentrate with him holding her. It felt dangerously familiar.
'That's another scorpion venom thing-' Her cheek was still against his chest and she could feel hard muscle through the softness of his T-shirt. 'Check out Wikipedia. I bet it will say something about nightmares. And I'm well and truly awake now, so you can let me go.'
He didn't. 'Go back to sleep.'
He expected her to sleep while he was holding her? She could have pulled away, of course, but she didn't. Couldn't. This was the way she wanted to sleep. Holding each other. Not wanting to be parted even in sleep. And she'd longed for it so much over the long, barren months they'd been apart. This was the last time they'd ever hold each other and she didn't want it to end. Without warning, her eyes started to sting. 'I don't need you to fuss over me.'
'You never need anything, do you, Avery Scott?' His voice was soft in the darkness and she squeezed her eyes tightly so that the tears didn't fall. She couldn't believe she was actually crying. She could just imagine what her mother would say to that.
'Sometimes I pretend to need someone, just to stroke a masculine ego.'
'I doubt you have ever stroked a man's ego in your life. Knifed it, possibly.'
She smiled against his chest, safe in the knowledge that he couldn't see her. 'Good job yours is robust.'
'Are you smiling?'
'No. What is there to smile about? I'm scorpion chow.' And she was a mess. The pain in her hand was nothing compared to the pain in her heart and he must have sensed her feelings because she felt his hand stroke her hair. Just the slight brush of his fingers, but it was enough to make her tense and he must have felt that too because he stilled, as if aware he'd crossed a line.
'Go back to sleep, Avery. And, just this once, don't fight me. A woman doesn't have to be in charge one hundred per cent of the time.' His soft voice melted everything hard inside her.
When they'd parted it had almost broken her. Being with him had threatened everything she'd built. She should be pulling away from him, but what she wanted to do was bury her face in his neck, touch her mouth to his skin and use her tongue and her lips to drive him wild.
Picturing Kalila in her head, she eased away from him and this time he let her go.
'I'm still in charge,' she whispered back. 'I just let you hold me because it feeds your manly ego.'
'You're all heart.'
Well, that was true, she thought bleakly as she turned on her side with her back to him. It was a good description because, right now, it was the only part of herself of which she was aware and it was filled to the brim with her feelings for him.
Even with her back to him, she could feel him watching her and she squeezed her eyes shut and refused to let herself turn and look at him.
Gritting her teeth, she resigned herself to a night without sleep.
She was alone in the tent when she woke.
Outside she could hear noises. Mal was up and dismantling their camp.
Avery lay for a moment, staring up at the canvas, remembering the night before in excruciating detail.
Muttering a soft curse, she sat upright. The bite on her hand had calmed down overnight and was now nothing more than a red mark. If only all her other feelings had faded so easily. She didn't want to think about the way he'd held her. She definitely didn't want to think about what she might have said when she'd talked in her sleep.
Grabbing her bag, she cleansed her face with one of the wipes she always carried, applied suncream and minimal make-up and scooped her hair into a ponytail. Then she tugged a fresh shirt out of her bag and changed quickly.
That was the easy part. The hard part was leaving the tent.
Facing him, after what had happened the night before.
'Coffee-' Mal handed her a small cup of strong coffee and she took it with a murmur of thanks, avoiding eye contact as she sipped.
'So you're ready to move out?'
'Whenever you are. How are you feeling?'
'Fine! Never better.' And never more embarrassed. She couldn't decide whether to pretend it hadn't happened or talk it down.
'Let me see.' He took her hand in his and somehow she resisted the impulse to snatch it away.
'It's settled down.' Which was more than could be said for her pulse rate. Could he feel it? Could he feel what he was doing to her? 'How's the scorpion feeling this morning? Perky?'
His mouth flickered at the corners. 'Deprived, I should think. He only got to take a single bite. I'm sure it was nowhere near enough.'
Her eyes skidded to his and then away again. 'Well, that's all he's getting.' She tugged her hand away from his and finished her coffee. 'I'll take the tent down.'
'No. I want you to rest your hand. I'll do it.' He strode away from her and Avery breathed out slowly. She felt weird and she didn't know if it was the after-effects of the scorpion bite or the after-effects of a night spent close to Mal.
He had the tent down in record time and the site cleared while Avery stood, eyeing the ground for more scorpions and wondering whether or not to say something. 'Listen-' she watched as he threw the tent into the trunk, distracted as the powerful muscles in his shoulders rippled and flexed '-about last night-'
'Which part of last night?'
'The part when I-' She cleared her throat. 'The part when I wasn't quite myself.'
'Was that the moment when you clung to me, or the moment you begged me not to leave you?'
'I didn't beg. And I didn't cling.' She emptied the dregs of her coffee onto the ground. 'Not exactly.'
'You needed me. But I can understand that it's hard for you to admit to needing anyone.' There was an edge to his voice that she didn't understand because surely they were way past this in their relationship.
'I didn't need you, but if it suits you to believe that then fine. I wish I'd never mentioned it. How long until we find your bride?' The sooner the better as far as she was concerned. Suddenly she wished she hadn't allowed her conscience to push her into this trip. No matter what she'd said to Kalila, if the girl had chosen to leg it into the desert that was ultimately her responsibility, wasn't it? Nothing was worth this additional stress.
'It is about a two-hour drive from here.' He slung the rest of their gear into the vehicle and sprang into the driver's seat.
Two hours and that would be it, she thought numbly. He'd find his bride. They'd sort things out. Mal would marry her. And all she'd ever be to him was a past he wanted to forget.
They'd see each other at the occasional high profile party. They'd be polite and friendly and formal. And in time the pain would fade.
She rubbed her hand over her chest.
He caught the movement and frowned slightly but Avery ignored his quizzical look and walked round to the passenger side.
This time, instead of arguing, they made the journey in silence but it didn't seem to make a difference. She was painfully conscious of him, her eyes drawn to every tiny movement. The flex of his thigh as he drove, the strength of his hands on the wheel. The atmosphere was so tense and loaded that when they finally pulled in to the camp Avery was the first out of the car. She wanted to get this done. She had to get this done.