Withstanding Me(38)

Finally, I think but really, I say it out loud and earn a scowl from both of them. Storm thanks him for the food and I cringe when he leans down to kiss her cheek. I watch him with a growl as he leaves.

I take a seat. Storm all but yells at me as she eats. “He’s leaving you know. He’s got a boyfriend in New York. He’s lonely here, no need to be an asshole!”

“I didn’t even know you knew him.”

“I don’t really.” She shrugs. “He said hi to me the last time I was in here for my leg. He’s a good person. Is Smokey and Rap okay?”

Dammit. I don’t wanna talk about other fuckin people right now. “Rap’s got two broken legs, Smokey’s just banged up.”

She nods and seems happy knowing that.

“Back to our earlier conversation.”

She drops her food. “What do you want, ZZ?”

I hate when she says my road name like that. I like when she uses my real name when we’re alone, and the fact that she used my road name means I need to tread lightly and carefully.

“I want to try.”

How else do I say that or put that? Fuck, she looks beautiful even though her face is all cut and bruised up. Dammit, stay focused you idiot.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” she yells, causing the heart monitor to start beeping loudly, and that little fucker comes over the bed intercom.

“Don’t get her riled up again. Sexy biker or not, I’ll boot your ass outta here.”

And he’s gone just like that.

“What he said.” Storm points to the speaker as she unclips the heart monitor from her finger, causing me to smirk.

“I want to try as in… shit, an us. I want there to be an us.”

“Mason,” she sighs sadly. “Just because I got pregnant and lost our baby doesn’t mean you have to feel obligated to be with me. I’m okay, really. It’s life. It happens. It was early on. I’d barely gotten used to the idea.”

She’s killing me here. I had minutes of the idea of her being pregnant with my kid, and I’m fuckin ripped up about it.

“I don’t get it,” I say turning away.

“Don’t get what?”

I look back at her. “How you can be so okay with this shit. It’s fucked up, Apple. It’s seriously fucked up. Even I fuckin know that!”

“It could’ve been worse, Mason. I could’ve been farther along, could’ve already heard the heartbeat, could’ve already knew the sex of the baby, already seen an ultrasound. I was lucky. I’m a lucky woman to not know that heartbreak. That’s how!”

I gulp, realizing she’s right, but I still want her, and she’s not fuckin understanding me.

“I still want to try. All this fucked up shit aside. I do really wanna try Storm. Just let me try, please.”

“Do you even know what being in a relationship entails?”

A little bit…

“Yeah, I can’t fuck anyone else.” I try to smile and immediately stop.

“See!” She screeches.

“Look, I know what it means okay. Devotion, it takes a lot of devotion. I watched my ma and dad. Do you think Phil ever cheated on Berry? Hell no he didn’t. Why the fuck do you think this shit is scary to me? Living up to being the man he was towards my ma, that shit is scary as fuck! He made it work, I can make it work. He’d attend parties, rides, got fucked up, but he still always made it home to my ma. I can try to do that. I will try my fuckin hardest to do that.”

“Mason,” she whispers.

“Please,” I beg. Fuck, what is wrong with me?

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she smiles.





Chapter 19

Storm

Two Days Later…

I was released from the hospital this morning. I took one look in a mirror and cringed. I look absolutely dreadful. I look like a blue and black polka dotted clown. I can’t believe ZZ was all about trying to make things work, especially with me looking like this. But even after I thought about myself that way, he somehow made it better because we’re lying on my bed in the new club building talking.

“What was Tatiana like as a baby?”

ZZ stops rubbing over my bruised knuckles and leans up to look at me. “You really wanna talk about that right now?”

I understand his conflict about me asking because of losing the baby and everything. But I was a lucky woman, and I’m sticking with that.

“Yes, yes I do.”

He smiles at me so warmly, his brown eyes shining like a chocolate sea.

“Fuck, you shoulda seen my ass Storm. I hadn’t even turned fourteen when Mira and her mom came up with a baby in their hands. Mom said she immediately knew by just looking at Tatiana that she was mine. I’m standing there with a rag in my hands from helping dad wash his bike, thinking what the fuck did I do. I mean hell. The bitch didn’t even tell me she was pregnant. That’s what happens when you fuck someone older, and they go to a different school and shit. I thought for sure ma and dad were gonna kill my ass. But ma just took Tatiana out of Mira’s hands, and dad took the birth certificate and other paperwork outta Mira’s mom’s hands and told them to get fucking lost. It was clear as day they didn’t want nothin to do with Tatiana. Fuck, it pisses me off thinkin about it. The first night was the worst night. She wouldn’t stop cryin for nothing. Ma said it was normal and here I am thinkin holy shit, I created a fucking monster. Ma and dad didn’t make me do too much. Ma was worried about my childhood already being tainted by the club anyways, and she wanted me to have a life outside the club too. So she pretty much raised Tatiana, and I was more of a brother for the first few years. You wanna hear something funny?”