I looked at him. "Really? You just said that?"
"Hey, I could have said pussy, but I kept it clean. It's true though. A man does need pussy to survive in this world."
Colt started laughing. "Damn, Luke. What is wrong with you?"
Luke held up his hands and laughed. "Keeping it real. Just keeping it real."
"That's why he has his fuck buddy. No strings. Just a fun way to survive in this world. Isn't that right, Luke?"
I closed my eyes when I heard Libby's voice. Shit.
I turned and looked at Libby, Grace, Lauren, Taylor, and Lex all standing there.
"What?" Luke lost his balance on the chair and dropped backward to the floor.
Libby smiled and shook her head. "I'm heading out for a while to meet someone. I don't have my car. Can I borrow your truck, Will?"
"Uh … "
Luke jumped up. "You're going out? On Christmas night? Where in the hell are you going?"
Libby glared at Luke. "Jason's in town, and he asked if I wanted to meet him for dessert."
Luke laughed. "What kind of dessert, Lib?"
"Watch it, Luke," I said through gritted teeth.
"The kind you'll never get from me, Luke."
I snapped my head over and looked at Libby. She walked up to me and held her hand out for my truck keys.
"Wait. What did you just say?" I asked.
"Can I borrow your truck or not, Will?"
I looked at Lex and then back at Libby. I reached in, pulled out my truck keys, and handed them to her. I watched her walk away, and then I glanced at Luke. His hands were balled into fists.
Lauren walked up and waited a few seconds. "She isn't going to meet anyone. You pissed her off with your comment, Luke."
"How long were y'all in here?" Colt asked.
Lauren smiled and sat down. "Long enough."
I rolled my eyes. I'm so tired of games.
I glanced over to Lex, who was standing at the edge of the stairs. She gave me a look and then headed back down. I quickly followed.
She stopped at Banjo's stall and smiled at me. "You feel like a nighttime ride? It's still pretty warm out."
I grinned and nodded my head. "Sure. You want me to saddle up two horses?"
She shook her head. "Nah, I've been riding Banjo bareback. Do you mind riding him with me?"
My heart slammed against my chest at the thought of being so close to her. "That sounds good to me," I said as my voice cracked.
Lex attached the reins to Banjo's bridle and led him out of the barn. She looked over her shoulder at me. "Can you help me up?"
I knew damn well she could get up on him by herself, but I played along. The moment my hands touched her body, I felt it. It was the same sensation that always ran through my body whenever I touched her.
She adjusted herself and winked at me. I grabbed her hand and jumped up behind her. Banjo was a big paint horse-sixteen hands and built like a machine. I'd never seen a horse love a person as much as Banjo loved Lex.
She rode out of the barn and down the trail leading to the river. We rode along in silence. I took in every single detail of her-her smell, what she was wearing, how her hair was pulled up, the way she rode her horse in perfect form. I loved everything about her, and I always would.
Lex brought Banjo to a stop and stared out over the river. "I love it here so much."
I followed her gaze. "Yeah, so do I."
I slid off the side of Banjo and helped Lex down. Having her in my arms was bringing out so many emotions.
"I'd ask if you wanted to sit down on a log, but-"
She hit the side of my arm and smiled. "Colt or Luke?"
I laughed. "Both filled me in. I'm so sorry, baby, um … Lex."
She closed her eyes, and when she opened them, her tears about dropped me to my knees.
"I've never been confused about my love for you, Will-not once. I won't stand here and make excuses because I know my actions hurt you, but you have to believe me when I say nothing, absolutely nothing, happened between Blake and me. Would I change things if I could go back? Yes … and no."
///
I tilted my head and looked at her.
"I learned something through all of this. I need to start thinking for myself. I need to stop listening to my father's voice in my head and start listening to my own voice. And us being apart helped me find that voice within. The last few weeks have been hell, but the time apart has opened my eyes as well."
I swallowed hard. She's moving on without me.
"I'm glad you found yourself, Lex. I'm really happy for you." I turned and started walking toward the river. My heart felt like it had just been ripped from my chest and stomped on.
"Do you know what it's been like?" she asked from behind me.
I let out a sigh. "What has what been like?"
"My life without you."
I shook my head and closed my eyes.
"It's been empty, completely empty."
I turned slowly and looked at her. "What? You just said-"
"I said, I learned to hear my own voice, Will. I learned to stand up and make my own decisions. One of those decisions is to leave UT at the end of this school year. I'm transferring schools."
My head was spinning, and my knees felt weak. "Where are you going?"
She smiled as she walked up to me and placed her hands on my chest. "Where I belong. With you."
I looked at her with a confused expression on my face. "Lex, are you saying … "
She giggled and nodded her head. "Yes, both Grace and I are going to A&M next year."
I just stood there, stunned. "Lex, I don't … I don't … you're coming to A&M?"
She smiled bigger. "Being without you, Will, is no longer an option. I love you. I want to be with you. When I'm not with you, a part of myself is missing."
"Lex … " I pulled her closer to me and placed my hands on the sides of her face. "I love you so much. I've been so lost, completely and utterly lost, without you."
I pressed my lips to hers, and we both let out soft, low moans. I picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around me as our kiss began turning more passionate.
"I need to feel you, Will. Please, please make love to me."
I bumped into Banjo, who just turned his head and looked at me. I set Lex down and began unbuttoning my pants. Then, it dawned on me.
I shook my head. "We can't. I don't have a condom."
Lex's face dropped, and she slowly shook her head. Then, she suddenly said, "I have an idea. Help me back up on Banjo."
A short while later, we were riding up to the barn.
Lex slid off Banjo and yelled, "Hold on!"
I watched her run up the stairs. I looked around to see if any of our friends were still here, but they had all left the barn.
Lex came running back down the stairs. She began looking around and then looked back at me. "Want to be daring?"
"Uh … how daring?"
She bit down on her lower lip. "Really daring."
I shook my head. "No. I want to live, Lex. My life is really just beginning, and you want to end it prematurely. No, thanks."
She laughed. "Come on, all our parents are up at the house, and God knows where everyone else is."
I slid off Banjo and began walking him back to his stall. "Lex, listen to yourself. You want to have sex in your barn-the barn that is close to your house … where your daddy is … with his guns nearby. I want you, Lex. I want you real bad, but I'd like to marry you someday and have kids and-"
I realized what I'd said when her expression changed. I swallowed hard as I turned and gave Banjo some hay and checked his water before I shut the gate to his stall. I turned around, and Lex slammed her body to mine.
"I need you, Will. Now. I have to have you inside me. Please."
"Shit."
She ran her hand through my hair and tugged on it hard. I let out a moan and cursed my betraying body.
She pulled away and began climbing the stairs. She glanced over her shoulder and looked back at me. "Luke has a stash of condoms hidden up here."
Oh good God.
"Lex, maybe we should finish talking."
She disappeared as I walked back over to the barn entrance and looked out. I didn't see anyone outside, but I could see people in the house through the kitchen window. I spun around, made my way back to the stairs, and then took them two at a time. I stopped when I saw Lex standing there, naked.
"Fuck," I whispered.
"I'll take that, thank you."
"Lex, we were talking. Don't you want to finish talking?"
She shook her head and placed her finger in her mouth. I looked her body up and down. I wanted her so damn bad.
///
She began trailing her finger down her neck, between her breasts, to her stomach. She finally stopped short of where I wanted to bury my face. She lifted her leg and set it down on a nearby bucket. Then, she slowly pushed her fingers inside of herself while she held up a condom in her other hand.
"Fuck it." I quickly stripped out of my pants and boxers before walking up to her. I grabbed the condom.