"Alex, I had so many dreams for you. Since you were little, I think I had your whole life planned out. Your mother used to tell me that it was your life and not mine, but I knew you would do what I said, and that's how I always thought. Seeing you this weekend, seeing how unhappy you are, makes me realize that it's not my life to plan. It's your life. We only learn lessons in life by making mistakes. I was trying too hard to keep you from making any, but I made the biggest one of all. I tried to tell you how and why you should live your life the way I wanted you to."
I looked straight ahead and let what my father was saying soak in.
"Alex, I'm no longer going to tell you what I think you should do. I'm going to leave it up to you to decide what to do. It's your life, your future, your dreams-not mine."
I glanced back at him and smiled. "Grace and I talked about it. We were going to wait and talk to you and Uncle Jeff together, but I'm thinking now is a good time."
He smiled and winked at me. "I do believe Grace has already talked to her daddy."
I laughed. "I'm not surprised. She utterly hates UT."
I took a deep breath and got ready to lay out the plans I had made for my own future. "We both decided that we would stay at UT and finish out our freshman year. It's really hard being away from Luke, Libby, and especially Will, but I think it will be best for Grace and me to finish what we started this year. Next year, I'd like to transfer to A&M and get a bachelor of science in horticulture."
Daddy smiled. "Horticulture?"
I smiled. "Yep. I loved working every day in the garden with Mama and Grams when I was growing up. I find myself daydreaming about working in Mama's garden. I've always wanted to have my own nursery and teach other people the things Mama and Grams taught me."
I watched as my father's eyes filled with tears.
"I think that sounds like an amazing plan, baby girl. It makes me very proud of you."
"Yeah?"
He stopped his horse. "Very much so, Alex. I just want you to be happy. If that is what will make you happy, then it'll make me happy."
I instantly felt a weight lifting off my shoulders. "I guess we should have had this talk months ago."
He chuckled. "I guess so. I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't share your dreams with me, Alex. I wanted you to follow in my footsteps, but I never stopped to think about your own footsteps."
"Daddy, I love you so much."
"Darlin', I love you, and I'm so damn thankful you're my daughter. Come on, let's get home. You leave tomorrow, and I know your mother wants to spend some time with you."
We made our way back to the house as we talked about everything and anything.
"Daddy, what should I do about Will?"
"Alex, I suggest you go to A&M and talk to Will face-to-face. I also think you should take your car to school with you, so you don't feel stuck in Austin."
I loved Will, and I would do whatever I needed to prove that to him.
Two weeks had passed since Thanksgiving break, and we were getting closer to winter break. I'd finally broken down and called my parents the Monday after Thanksgiving. I'd never heard my mother so angry before in my life. She hadn't even cared that I had gone to Oklahoma to help rebuild houses. After both my father and mother had lit into me, they had told me to call Lex.
///
I wasn't ready to talk to Lex yet. She had been calling and texting me at least ten times a day. When I'd sent her a text back, saying I needed time to think, she had begged me to take her call. I just couldn't get what she'd said out of my head. If she was confused about us, then she also needed to take the time to figure things out.
"I talked to Grace earlier," Luke said.
"Oh, yeah? How's she doing?" I asked as I continued to act like I was studying.
"She's good. She said Alex is a mess. She told that Blake guy to take a hike when he kept coming by. Grace said Blake seemed to be stalking Alex, but she thinks he got the hint when Alex told him that she loved you and only you."
I glanced up and looked at Luke. "Is that so? She should have told him that before."
Luke let out a sigh. "Listen, I agree with you on that one. At the same time, Will, I can't say I blame Alex for being confused. I think she was mixing up her emotions of missing you and wanting you, and she was using this guy as a type of replacement."
I shut my book. "Really? So, in other words, when I get horny, I should just go find a study buddy, dance all close to her, and spend my free time with her. Don't fuck her, but just lead her on. Do I have that right?"
"Um … well, shit, when you say it like that, dude … "
I stood up. "If she was so fucking lonely and horny, she shouldn't have run to some guy. It should have been me she wanted and waited for."
"Jesus, Will, she didn't cheat on you."
"No, but she thought about it, Luke."
"You don't know that."
I slammed my hand down on the table. "I heard her! I heard her tell that fucker that she had feelings for him. I. Heard. Her." I turned and grabbed my wallet and phone.
"Will, wait. Where are you going?"
"Out. I need to forget about Alex for a while."
I opened the door and slammed it behind me. I made my way out of our building. I had no idea where I was going. All I knew was I wanted to get as far away from anything or anyone who reminded me of Lex.
I found myself wandering around before I heard Joe calling my name. I turned to see him running up.
"Hayes! Why in the hell are you walking around outside? It's freezing!"
"Trying to clear my head."
He grinned and nodded his head. "You need a drink, my boy."
"Hell yes."
"Come on, I'm heading to my friend's house. Let's knock a few back, shall we?"
I spent the next three hours downing beer after beer as some girl named Lucy flirted with me. I had zero interest in her even though she was hot as hell, but she couldn't hold a candle to Lex.
No one will ever compare to Lex.
When Lucy moved and made her way next to me, I knew it was time for me to head back to my room. When I stood up, I could feel the effects of the alcohol. I wasn't drunk, but I was feeling good.
Lucy stood up and grabbed my arm. "You interested in heading back to my apartment?"
I looked her up and down. Nothing. As much as I wanted to have sex, I didn't want to have sex with Lucy.
I shook my head. "Sorry, not interested."
She sat back down and pouted.
I walked around and thanked everyone for letting me join in on the fun. I'd found out that most of these people would go on mission trips with Joe and Callie. I would be spending more time with them soon. I hadn't told Joe or Callie that I was planning on spending my winter break with them in Oklahoma.
Joe slapped my back, scaring the shit out of me. "Come on, I'll walk you back to your dorm. I sent Callie a text and told her to meet me there."
"Sounds good!" I said with a laugh. The beer was starting to get to me.
Joe and I started making our way toward my place, and the whole way, he kept talking about how wonderful Callie was. I could see how much the two of them loved each other just by the way they would look at each other.
"When are y'all getting married?" I asked.
"After school. Our parents insist on it, and since they're paying for school and the wedding, I wasn't about to argue."
I laughed. "I see your point."
"Shit, I see Roger. I need to tell him something. Let me run and catch him. I'll meet you and Callie outside your dorm."
"Sounds good." I watched as he took off, calling for Roger.
I started toward my dorm and smiled when I saw Callie.
"Hey you! Where is Joe?"
"Took off after some Roger guy to ask him something. Said he would be right here."
"Okay. Were you able to enjoy yourself and relax for a bit?"
///
I laughed. "Does it show that bad?"
She nodded her head. "Yeah, kind of. Listen, Will, I'm really sorry about you and your girlfriend. I hope that y'all can work it out."
I tried to smile, but it came off as a poor attempt. "Yeah, I'm thinking when she calls me again, I'm going to talk to her."
"Good. You need to give her a chance to explain. Is she still calling every day?"
I nodded and felt my stomach knotting up. "Yep."
"Answer her when she calls. I'd hate to hear that she stopped calling because you kept blowing her off."
I needed to change the subject. "I have some news for you."
"Good or bad?" She laughed.
I reached over and pulled out a stick from her hair. "Jesus, where have you been? You have sticks and leaves in your hair."
"I was helping an older lady trim trees this afternoon. I've never been hit with so many branches in my life, but I had fun. So, what's the news?"
I raised my eyebrows at her and smiled. "I've decided to join y'all in Oklahoma over winter break."