Before I can even ask her that, she goes on. "Wyatt … you've talked about Andrea to me. I watched you just a little bit ago while you were on the phone. This is something special you have with her. Now, I haven't met this girl yet, and that is something you better rectify on her next visit here, but I do know you well, son. The look on your face … the happiness … the peace. All from just talking to her, or talking about her. I don't know if you call it love at this point … that's between you and her. But I know what I call it."
She looks at me expectantly … as if I should know what to call this.
I'm not sure that I do, so I just tilt my head at her in question.
Standing on her tiptoes, she kisses my cheek. When her feet are planted solidly again, she pats my face with her hand. "I call it destiny, Wyatt."
My mom's words continue to ring inside my head.
Destiny.
It's not a word I'm sure I've ever used in my vocabulary before. I certainly never paired that word with what I have with Andrea. But now when I think about how we met … the bond we forged while working together … about reconnecting and the way we seem to be growing closer every day … maybe my mom has it right. Maybe she is my destiny.
What necessarily follows that line of thinking is the concept of love.
If she's my destiny and the future means our paths will merge permanently, that only happens with the added feature of love.
So now I have to consider … is Andrea really my destiny? Do I love her?
I want those answers to be "yes". I don't even have to think about that.
But never having felt love before, I'm just not sure if that's the way to describe this deep, emotional pull I have toward this woman. Is it love when Andrea is the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep, which doesn't include the million other times I think about her during the day? Is it love that my heart hurts when she's sad, or that I'm fearful of not being able to protect her? When she laughs, I can't help but laugh as well … so is that love? What about that when I'm sunk deep inside of her, and she's staring up at me … completely fulfilled, and my heart squeezes in pleasure. Is that love? Or how about that I ache from loneliness … missing her desperately? Love or not?
I think back to what Hunter told me. About the reason why he gave up his surfing career to be near Gabby.
He said it could have worked … because if you love someone, you make it work. But he said ultimately he just didn't want to deal with the hurt of being away from her.
It was just that simple.
He loved Gabby and being away from her hurt him.
Being away from Andrea hurts me.
Doesn't take a fucking genius to figure out what's going on here.
Chapter 24
Andrea
I open the oven, eyeballing the lasagna I have cooking. I just put it in, and it has a while to go yet. Glancing at my watch, I see I'm running short on time before Wyatt gets here. I still need to get the salad together, pop the wine, light the candles, and um … I need to get naked. He said he would call and give me a heads up when he hit my neighborhood, so I'll at least have a few minutes' notice shed my clothes.
It's been two weeks since we've seen each other, and I think the main priority should be for us to get naked. In fact, I'm loving my grand plan to meet him at the door without a stitch of clothes on, and well … we'll let nature take its course.
But first … the salad.
I open the fridge and pull out the big bag of mixed lettuce. A quick swipe of the knife into the plastic and a hard shake into a wooden bowl, and voila … the salad is complete.
If only life were so easy … if it were like a big bag of salad you could shake out and where it all lands is how it should be.
That would be the easy way, but it leaves too much to chance. And when it comes to Wyatt … I don't want to take any chances.
So, I've been giving my life some serious thought. I've evaluated my goals, and then reevaluated them. I've prioritized what's important to me, and when I weigh all considerations, I've come up with some surprising conclusions.
Surprising and one somewhat crazy conclusion, and yet … what I've decided feels right.
So very right.
I can't wait to talk to Wyatt about it when he gets here, but first things first. We've been apart too long and talk can wait. The sex can't.
I reach into my utility drawer beside the stove and pull out the matches, but before I can take a step into the living room to light the dozen candles I laid out, my phone rings.