When he reached down to kiss me, it didn’t feel rushed. It was slow and intimate. And when he pressed me back against the stone wall, he held my weight so that the rocks didn’t scrape my back. We murmured I love you under the stars, and the water dripped down around us as he thrust into me with such sweetness that I couldn’t hold the weight of my body up any longer. I let Beck lead us, and when I had that blissful orgasm in the shower of El Cosmico, I cried because I thought it might be the very last time.
I didn’t wake up that next morning.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
My worst fear, and yet the one thing I’d spent the least amount of time worrying about over the past few months, had been realized. My body was rejecting my heart transplant. The moment my fever spiked in the hotel room, I knew in the back of my mind that something was wrong, but I didn’t let the idea fester. I pushed it aside and hoped for the best. And instead of turning to head home and getting treatment when I should have, I’d put my entire life in jeopardy and now faced an unknown fate.
There were voices talking, I could hear them through my haze, and yet they still seemed so far away.
“ I can’t believe you two went all the way to Marfa. What were you thinking? There’s not a proper medical facility for miles. What if the ambulance hadn’t gotten there in time?” my mother asked. Who was she talking to? I tried to pry my eyelids open, but they felt like lead weights. I could feel my fingers moving and I wiggled my toes so that the soft hospital sheet tickled the tips of them.
“ Oh! She’s awake! Nurse!” my mother called, and I tried to pry my eyes open again. This time a thin shaft of light appeared through my lids. I heard hurried footsteps as what I assumed to be the nurse ran into the room. The power controls of my bed cranked to life and my upper body began tilting upward. When was the last time I’d sat up?
Finally, I could blink my eyes open. It seemed like gravity had less of a hold on them now that I was sitting up.
I kept blinking, trying to adjust to the bright light of the room.
He was the first thing I saw.
Beck.
Sitting at the foot of my bed with crazy hair and bags under his eyes. He looked like he’d survived the zombie apocalypse. When our eyes met, he visibly sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I wanted him to move closer.
“ Abby, I’m so happy you’re awake, honey. How do you feel?” my mom asked, filling my vision with her brown curly hair.
“ She’s probably not feeling too well,” the nurse answered for me. I cast her an appreciative glance. She was older than my mom, with a no-nonsense ponytail and kind eyes. “I’ve put you on quite a heavy cocktail, Abby, so please try to relax. If you need anything, just press the call button for me, sweetie.”
I nodded gently and tried to clear my throat. It was dry and crackly.
“ I’ll go get you some water, hold on,” my mom called as she dashed out of the room. The second she was gone, I shifted toward Beck and expected him to jump up to kiss me, but he was keeping his distance. Why was he keeping his distance?
“ Beck,” I croaked. My voice sounded like I’d been smoking three packs a day for fifty years. But it worked; Beck hopped up and came toward me. He sat next to my body and laid his hand over mine. I couldn’t discern his expression, and for some reason that seemed more troubling than my failing heart.
“ I’m so…” he paused, looking down to our hands, “so sorry.”
His guilt was written across every single feature. His eyebrows sagged, his mouth frowned, and his hazel eyes held angry tears that he fought to contain.
“ No, no, Beck,” I started to argue, but then my mom came back with some ice chips and water. Her eyes landed on us sitting on the bed and her brows furrowed. I guess her opinion of Beck had changed since they’d last met. Did she blame him? He hadn’t done anything wrong. It was my fault that I didn’t take better care of my health.
“ I’ve got to run home and shower.” Beck peeled his hands away from mine and stood off the bed. I didn’t have time to protest. “And my dad wants to see me, so…”
I followed his body as he walked around my bed, past my mom, and through the hospital room door. My hand lay bereft on the sterile sheet.