With This Heart(84)

I didn’t bother reading about how Colby died. Two minutes prior, I would’ve done anything to know the details of his life, but now? Now there was no point in dwelling on the fact that this poor guy had passed away. I needed to use his heart the way he would’ve wanted it to be used.

Without consulting Beck, I slid out of the booth and hunted down a bartender.

“             Do you guys do karaoke here?” I asked with a shaky voice. My hand was fidgeting with the hem of my dress as I attempted to meet his dark beady eyes.

The old, burly man eyed me skeptically. “Does it look like we do karaoke here, lady?”

I couldn’t argue with that. The bar was filled with tired, sunburned patrons, trying to take a load off after a long day. They’d be more likely to have an old-timey western shoot-off than host a karaoke night. I turned back to the bartender and read his name tag: Dave.

“             Dave, what about just this once?” I gave him a pleading smile. “I’m attempting to get out of my comfort zone and I’m afraid that if I leave here without doing this then I might never work up the courage again.”

He shook his head slowly, not even bothering to look up at me. I gripped the side of the bar while I watched him retrieve a cold beer for a patron. Was I going to walk away? No. I couldn’t leave Odessa like this. If he wasn’t going to cooperate than I had no choice. I turned back to see Beck eyeing me skeptically from the booth, and then with one last breath, I hopped onto the bar.

Dave yelled for me to get down, but I didn’t listen. I turned to face the crowd. All ten small town Texans and one adorable Beck smiled up at me in awe.

“             Um, hello everyone.” Only a few people had stopped their conversations, but by the end of my greeting, the bar was maddeningly silent. What kind of bar had no background music playing at least? “I’m going to sing a little song for you.”

“             Get the hell down!” Dave yelled, throwing his towel on the bar next to my feet. Beck hopped out of the booth, ready to grab me if the situation escalated. He looked menacing with his baseball cap pulled low and his arms crossed over his chest. He kept walking until he was right under me and I smiled nervously down at him.

I flitted my gaze over to Dave and gave him my best puppy dog eyes. “Please, it’ll be quick…” I pleaded. He huffed and then rolled his eyes. That was as much of an approval as I was going to get.

I pinched my eyes closed and took a deep breath, preparing the sorry excuse for vocal cords I was about to subject everyone to.

“             This is for Colby,” I murmured, staring up at the dirty fluorescent lights.

With no musical accompaniment, I was left high and dry as I started to hum the opening strands of “Your Song” by Elton John. I wasn’t certain that I’d be able to hit all of the notes, but I closed my eyes and pretended I was standing alone in my shower. I began to sing the first words so softly that I doubt anyone could even hear. It was painful and I knew my entire body was shaking with nerves.

But then I opened my eyes and looked down at Beck. One of his arms was wrapped around his torso and the other was propped up and holding his chin. I tried to focus solely on him as I kept singing.

Mind you, I’ve never had a single singing lesson in my entire life. But I let Sir Elton John lead me forward as I broke into the chorus without reservation. I was belting the lyrics, telling everyone in the bar that I was so happy that they were “in the world”. A few of the patrons whistled and clapped their hands. I guess even in Odessa, Elton had some fans.

When I tried to hit a really high note and my voice cracked, I laughed, rolling with it. The adrenaline made the embarrassment roll off me like I was wearing a waxy shield.

When I had to repeat the part about hoping “you don’t mind”, the entire bar joined in with mismatching vocals. It sounded pretty terrible, but when I carried the song home, the entire bar was silent. They’re eyes blinked up at me with such profound understanding. I knew they’d probably all known Colby. Or at least known of him. Maybe that song meant something to them as well.

The second I finished, I hunched forward and started laughing. It was quite possibly the worst rendition ever created, but Beck was grinning up at me with quiet admiration. He reached up to grab me. His arms gripped my waist securely, and as I slid down to the floor, he held me steady against his body so that our faces were level. I’m sure everyone in the bar was watching, but they were strangers and I didn’t care. My hands gripped his shoulders, and when our faces aligned, we both had impossibly wide grins.