I frowned, wishing I could help him bear the burden.
“ Do you want to take Orlando Bloom for support?” I offered him a half smile.
Beck dropped his head and laughed. “Nah, I’ll let you keep him. I don’t think my dad would get the joke.”
The conversation seemed over. I thought he’d turn and head toward his truck, but instead he asked, “Are we going to finish the trip?”
My mouth hung open as I waited for my brain to catch up. I didn’t know the answer to that. My grief over Caroline was a living thing. It grew and slept, dormant at times, and then wild and all-consuming when I least expected. Would she have wanted me to finish the road trip? Probably, but I didn’t agree with her logic anymore.
“ I’m not sure.” I stared at my Mary Jane heels.
“ It was just getting started, Abby. Think about it,” he answered before dipping down and kissing my cheek. I inhaled his scent and warmth before he turned and walked away.
…
I did think about it. I thought about it as I grocery shopped with my mom. I thought about it as I went to my weekly check-up. My doctor was reprimanding me about missing my appointment and then she mentioned something about increasing my medication dosage. My mom took notes while I thought about Beck’s question and stared at Dr. Pierce’s mahogany desk. When I’d come in for the appointment, I tried to find Alyssa, but I guess she wasn’t working that day. I still had the note she gave me tucked safely inside my wallet. It was taunting me. The fact that I had the address on me at all times. Maybe I’d never use it.
My mom dragged me back to the career counselor for another hour-long session. At least this time my counselor had the results from my career aptitude test. Apparently, I was most suited to be one of the following:
1. Park Ranger
2. Biomedical Engineer
3. Accountant
4. Writer
How in the hell she had arrived at any of those four jobs was beyond my understanding.
“ I’m not sure I want to do any of those,” I admitted, looking up toward Dr. Lucas.
She smiled knowingly toward me. One of those slow, condescending smiles that basically said ‘oh, sweet naive little girl ’.
“ Those are just starting points, Abby. From here, we’ll narrow down other career paths and then decide where you should apply for college.”
I zoned out and decided to spend the remainder of our meeting thinking of Caroline and Beck. They would have been good friends. They were both optimistic and friendly. I would have been the cynical glue that held the group together.
I texted Beck later that day.
Abby : I’m apparently suited for one of the following jobs: Park ranger, writer, accountant, and some weird type of engineering…
Beck : Who told you those were your career options?
Abby : My life coach.
Beck : Seems like the sort of thing you find out by living and trying different things out…
Abby : Do you want to be my new counselor?
Beck : Conflict of interest…
Abby : Oh…
I smiled at the idea that he still liked me, but I wasn’t going to question it. Maybe the stars aligned perfectly when he walked into the funeral home and he was helpless to my alluring charm.
Abby : How was dinner with your dad?
Beck : He wasn’t too thrilled, but he isn’t paying for my school, so there isn’t much he could do about it. I know I’m making the right choice though.
Abby : I’m glad you told him.
Beck : Me too.
Abby : Could you send me your address?
Beck : Why?