With This Heart(20)

I made myself some organic egg whites with a side of banana and peanut butter. Then I painted my nails a bright pink color, hated it, and swapped it out for a bright red.

After all that, it was still only ten thirty in the morning.

Crap             .

I clicked on the TV and flipped through day-time shows, not really concentrating on any of it. My finger kept clicking aimlessly until I looked up and saw that it was five minutes to eleven. Yesterday we’d arranged for Beck to pick me up at my apartment, so when I heard a loud BEEP-BEEP a second later, my heart rate leapt. I hopped off the couch and straightened my shirt.

I had three bags filled with my essentials, plus my sleeping bag and a grocery bag full of healthy snacks. My trusty black urn sat beside the pile, taped on all sides so it wouldn’t spill open. That black urn was the most important thing I was taking on the trip. Well, other than my medications.                          I grabbed my first bag and opened my front door to find Beck standing a few feet outside. I took in his messy brown hair, white t-shirt, and dark jeans. Why did a white t-shirt look so good on him? Maybe because it was fitted enough to show off his toned body without being obnoxiously tight? I wasn’t quite sure.

He didn’t say anything at first. His hazel eyes scanned down my body, lingering a moment longer on my bare legs, and then he looked back up at me with a wide, perfectly straight smile.

“             Is that all you’re bringing?” he asked, pointing at the smallest of my three bags.

“             Hah! Yeah right, I have like ten times more stuff.”

He shook his head and narrowed his eyes on me playfully. “I like a girl with baggage, Abby Mae. Keeps things interesting.”

His comment was too much; it stripped away my normal sarcastic responses. I was left with nothing but the bag in my hand, so I tossed it at him. He had to think fast and catch it before it fell to the ground at his feet.

“             Good. Help me load it up then,” I smirked, and then turned to collect the rest of my stuff.

“             Don’t forget to go to the bathroom! We aren’t stopping until we’re out of hell!” he called behind me.

“             You mean Dallas?” I asked over my shoulder.

“             Exactly!”




I was sitting in the passenger seat in Beck’s old, yellow VW Camper. It had been renovated recently, so the inside was all new leather, but it still had a lot of the classic details.

Our stuff fit easily in the back and he wasn’t kidding about there being space to sleep. We’d have to be really close, but there was definitely room.                          My face reddened at the thought.

I wedged the urn between my feet so that it wouldn’t tip over, and then buckled my seat belt. When I looked up, Beck was watching me with a bemused smile. My hand instinctively slid over my side braid and my face. I didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary.

“             What?” I asked.

He shook his head, but his grin never faltered. “Nothing. Just trying to remember this moment.”

I furrowed my brows in wonder and tilted my head. The sun shone through the windshield of the Camper, highlighting the green details in his eyes. Beck wasn’t movie-star good-looking; he was boy-next-door good-looking— the kind of guy that might not know the full extent of his effect on the female population.

“             Why?” I asked.

“             Because our lives will never be the same.”

A small dimple formed on the corner of his mouth before he turned toward the steering wheel and pulled out of my apartment complex.

That dimple was the first thing I told myself to remember about the road trip.

Just as we turned onto the entrance for the highway, I peered over at Beck. “Just so you know, my faith in humanity is dangling by a few threads. If you murder me, I’ll pretty much lose all hope.”

I couldn’t keep the hint of a smile from my lips.

He nodded. “And if you murder me?”

I shrugged. “That would just be a good plot twist.”




We watched the Dallas landscape disappear behind us to the tune of Vampire Weekend. Beck thumbed the steering wheel to the beat of the song and I propped my feet up on the dashboard. It felt like the first day of summer, too good to be true. It was like the world might say “just kidding” and I’d wake up in my bed back home with nothing to look forward to except visiting Caroline.