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With This Heart(19)

By:R. S. Grey


I didn’t think she would answer. It rang half a dozen times and then I finally heard a cough.

“             Sweet Caroline?” I asked hesitantly. Her cough sounded terrible and I wasn’t sure it would stop. Another few seconds passed and then finally I heard raspy breathing.

“             Hey Abby.”

“             Dude, you sound like you’ve got the black plague.” It was hard to act normal and tease her in that moment. Her sickness scared me, but I couldn’t turn into another person that walked on eggshells around her. She’d never forgive me.

“             I liked you better when you had that old crappy heart. You had less energy to devote to sarcasm.”

That was Caroline.

“             Yeah, maybe this new heart is super evil.”

“             Ew, that’s weird.”

“             I’m kidding, but hey, should I or should I not feel like a complete bitch for lying to my parents about this road trip?”

“             You cannot be having second thoughts. He bought you a freaking sleeping bag and stuff. That’s practically an engagement ring.”

I ignored her blatant hyperbole. “So they’ll understand why I went?”

“             Yes. You deserve to go, and they’ll understand later. Like when you’re fifty. I wouldn’t mention it until then.”

“             Okay, that’s what I needed to hear,” I paused, letting the guilt sink in about leaving Caroline.

“             Hey, I know you’ll yell at me about it, but it’s not too late for me to cancel the trip and stay. I really don’t want to leave you.” The more I talked about it, the more I felt like that was the right decision. I’d stay with Caroline and visit her in the hospital and do… I don’t know what             with the rest of my time. Get a job? Yeah. I needed a job. Just the thought brought back the sinking feeling in my stomach.

“             I cannot believe you’re even bringing that up again. Abby, I’ve told you a million times and now it’s just annoying. I             want             you to go. I             want             you to have crazy campfire sex with this guy.”

“             Ew, like on the fire? What the hell are you into, Caro?”

“             I’m serious, Abby. Please don’t stay for me. You’ll make me feel like crap.” It was that sentence that sealed my fate. I didn’t think Caroline was lying. I knew what it felt like to be a burden.

“             Okay,” I relented. “I’ve gotta go help my parents steam quinoa.”

“             That was the most boring sentence I’ve ever heard.”

Boring? Fine.

“             I bought condoms at the store today, did I tell you that?”

“             You’re dropping that bomb on me right before you hang up?!” she exclaimed, causing a whole new coughing fit.

“             Crap. Sorry, seriously heal up. I’ll update you if we do the deed or anything.”

She laughed wistfully. “Please do, I’m living vicariously through you.”

“             K. Love ya, C.”

“             Love ya, Abs.”





CHAPTER SIX


I changed ten times Friday morning, finally settling on a short pair of faded denim cut-offs and a fitted t-shirt with my standard white Keds. Anything else felt like I was trying too hard, which I was. I tugged my hair into a loose braid and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Sage green eyes, even skin tone, standard eyebrows and eyelashes. I’d never thought I needed makeup before, but I suddenly felt self-conscious. I pinched my cheeks like they always do in Jane Austen books and then laughed out loud because I was acting insane. Beck knew what I look like and he seemed to like it so far, right?