With A Twist(65)

The sun’s edge hasn’t even made appearance yet, and the sky is tinged gray. I walk a few feet away from the steps and sink slowly down into the soft sand so as not to spill my coffee, only to have a small shell poke me in the butt. After wedging my mug into the sand, I lean over, remove the offender, and sink back down, burying my toes in the coolness that the evening has brought to the sand. I know by midday, it will be blistering hot.

While I wait on the sunrise to make its appearance, I turn on my phone. I need to call Kyle and check in with him, but it’s far too early in Wyoming and he’d never answer. I had successfully avoided my phone all day yesterday and hadn’t even brought it out with us to Hunter’s bar last night.

But it’s a new day… I’ve got my coffee, a gorgeous guy sleeping just up those stairs to my back, the promise of another spectacular sunrise… and yet, for some idiotic reason, I’m dying of curiosity to see if David has reached out through Facebook since I accepted his friend request.

My curiosity is completely upstanding. I don’t have any desire to get back with him, and I certainly don’t want to reconnect. But it’s killing me not knowing why he is reaching out, especially when he drew a very deep line in the proverbial sand with me. It stunned me then and continues to flummox me now how he could have thrown away everything we had on almost a whim. I want to know if I did something wrong… did I miss something? Was I not attentive enough to him, was I not that great in the sack, or maybe he really just didn’t love me the way I thought he did?

I have to know. He never gave me an opportunity to talk about his reasoning and if there is something that could have saved that relationship, it’s imperative I know it. I have to know, because if it’s truly my fault… I don’t want to make that mistake again.

I’m not sure if it’s because of this amazing connection with Wyatt, but I need to know that I have my priorities straight when it comes to balancing me, my career, and my personal life together. This is especially important to know because Wyatt and I are starting something here… something amazing, I can tell, but we are already facing the monumental hurdle of physical distance between us. This was clearly a point of contention with David, something he had no amount of compromise for, and the thought occurs to me… maybe I was the one that was unreasonable.

Again, I don’t want to know these answers to fix my issues with David. I’m confident that that ship has sailed right out of my heart. I know this to be true because after that amazing connection we had last night while making love, it’s brutally clear that my feelings for Wyatt are immensely stronger and deeper than what I had for David.

And I don’t mean that I love him… because how could I? We haven’t spent that much time together. But what I mean is that everything between us, broken down into component parts, is almost electrifying.

The way he kisses.

His touch.

His voice.

The way in which he listens to me.

Everything seems amplified… almost tangible. It’s so strong.

Wyatt is quickly becoming very important to me and while I’m not sure exactly how he feels, my gut says he’s feeling something too. Therefore, I want to make sure I don’t fuck up.

Pulling up the Facebook app, I immediately see I have a message waiting for me. I have no clue if it’s from David or not, but I don’t waste any time opening it up.

And sure enough… he wrote to me.





Andrea,

I know you’re surprised to hear from me and through Facebook no less. My sister finally convinced me to sign up so I could see all the photos she always posts of her kids, so I gave in.

I wanted to check in to see how you were doing. I didn’t feel comfortable emailing you at work, and I was honestly afraid of reaching out through the phone. I know I left things badly between us, and I also know I didn’t handle it in the best way. I hurt you, and I really am sorry.

So, how are you? Work going okay? Any word on the BRIU? I’d really like to talk if you’re open to it. I think there are some things that maybe I should have explained to you. I know, for sure, we should have definitely had more of a discussion rather than me unilaterally throwing everything away. All I can say is I was operating out of a place of fear and anger, which usually always leads to poor decision making.

You have my number. Call me if you want to talk, or maybe even better yet… meet for coffee? Next few days?

Love,

David





I stare at the words on my screen, scroll up, and read through it one more time. I’m not sure what I should be feeling at this moment, but I can tell you how I’m not feeling.