“I told you not to say anything,” I warned. “You know this can’t be a date.”
“You told me not to say anything I’d regret,” he clarified. “I might be a bit more candid than usual, but I’m not drunk. I’m not going to forget tomorrow what I’ve told you tonight. I’m just telling the truth. I don’t—and I won’t—ever regret telling you how I feel.”
Suddenly, the food on my plate became very interesting. I poked at the shrimp and fiddled with some noodles as my brain worked at warp speed to come up with a response.
The server came and asked if things were going okay. I made a noise of agreement in my throat while Ranger X pushed his empty plate toward the edge of the table. She looked to me. “More wine?”
I shook my head no, and I couldn’t help but think that she’d noticed the awkward silence over the table. She gave a knowing smile and a curt nod and took the empty dishware to the kitchen. Even after she’d gone, the lingering memory of her grin irked me, as if she was just waiting for me to make a mistake so she could swoop into my seat.
“What are you thinking?” X’s voice startled me out of my reverie.
I swallowed hard, deciding to go all in. “I’m thinking this doesn’t have to be a date. Why don’t we just enjoy our night and see where it leads?”
Reaching across the table, he pulled my hands into his. “The date part is not the problem. The problem begins when I let myself care for you more than I already do...”
“You already care for me?”
“Of course I do,” he said, blinking in surprise. “But don’t ask me why.”
I blushed, about to respond with a joke, when he continued.
“That’s what makes things difficult. The rules Ranger HQ have against dating and marrying isn’t...it’s not the actual dating that’s the problem. It’s the decision-making. When a Ranger makes decisions with his heart instead of his head, everything becomes more dangerous. For all people involved, not just myself, not just you. It puts all of the other Rangers at risk, and we are brothers. We can’t put each other at risk. I’ve lost enough men over the years without accidents, and I refuse to let that number grow higher.”
“If you already care for me, isn’t it already too late?”
X’s gaze dropped to the plate of food in front of me.
I pushed it forward. “Want some?”
“No, I’m fine,” he said. “We shouldn’t be here tonight.”
I caught the server watching us closely from behind the bar, and something about her nosiness into private matters got on my nerves. At the same time, it gave me a bit of courage that I didn’t have before, tempting me to throw caution to the wind. “You’re a Ranger, yes? You’ve been at it most of your adult life?”
“All my adult life.”
“Listen, I understand it’s your duty to protect and serve The Isle, and all of those wonderful things you do. But what about yourself? What’s that thing telling you?” I reached over and tapped on his chest. “You’re not on the clock right now. A little distraction might help to relax you. We don’t even have to put labels on it. Let’s just have a fun night. No strings attached. A non-date.”
“A non-date.” He turned the words over in his mouth.
“Yes,” I said emphatically, squeezing his hand. “We’ve both been super busy. Let’s finish our dinner, grab some dessert, and then I’ll let you walk me home. Nothing date-like. No holding hands, no kissing, no pressure. Just some company and conversation.”
One of his eyebrows rose. His eyes wanted to say yes, but his lips couldn’t seem to form the word.
“Fine. Change of plans, we’re done with dinner.” I winked. “I’m ready for dessert, and you’re coming with. Have you tried the cotton candy from that vendor near the B&B? It looked like a cloud, and I need some of it now.”
He laughed. “I don’t think I have a choice.”
“That’s right, you don’t. I am forcing you to have fun.” Reaching over, I grabbed his hand and pulled him up. “Oh, shoot. Money.”
Fishing around in my pockets, I realized I’d dumped all of my coins onto the table back with Liam.
“Stop it.” X leaned over and rested his hand on my arm. “It’s on me. You were my guest.”
“I’m just trying to keep things from being date-like.”
“It’s a non-date starting...” He paused, pulled out more than enough coins from somewhere inside of his suit, and dropped them on the table. “Starting now.”