I shrugged. “Both?”
“If this is about Gus, then I don’t have much advice for you. That’s your relationship, and only you can decide when to trust, when to question, and when to believe on blind faith.”
My gut twisted. “That’s what I was afraid of. No offense, but that doesn’t help me any.”
Ranger X gave a low chuckle that didn’t stem from a place of happiness. “I know, but that’s the fact of the matter. Relationships are hard, and often there are no right answers. I could tell you what to do, but that’s not the right answer, either. You need to learn to trust yourself.”
“I don’t trust my instincts. They’ve been wrong before.”
“Then don’t trust your instincts, trust what’s in here.” Ranger slid his plate to the side of the table, then reached across and wrapped his hand over my shoulder. His thumb rubbed just over the place where my heart beat like crazy. “You know it already, somewhere deep down, the ultimate truth. You just have to find it.”
“What if I can’t?”
“You can and you will, eventually. It might take time, and it might take a series of mistakes and failures before you unearth the truth, but that’s okay. That’s what life’s all about.” X surveyed me with a soft expression. “I’ve made mistakes—grave mistakes. In my line of work, trusting myself can mean the difference between life and death.”
“Like when you called Liam for the troll bite.”
“Exactly.” X cleared his throat. “Unfortunately, the man never recovered.”
I blinked. “What? But I thought the point of your story was that Liam saved him!”
“He lived another two years. Long enough to say goodbye to everyone. Long enough to set his affairs in order. Without the medicine, he would’ve been dead within hours.”
“You gave him borrowed time.”
He nodded. “The answer isn’t always good or bad. In fact, it’s usually not. Sometimes, it is a mixture between the two, and you have to take the good with the bad.”
The food on my plate smelled delicious, and it looked like a piece of art, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat. “I don’t know how to bring this up with Gus.”
“If you can truly trust a person,” X said carefully. “That shouldn’t be an issue.”
“I trust him, but that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable.”
“Difficult conversations are always uncomfortable. But with the right person, you can have those conversations.” Ranger X hesitated for a second. “I told you I can’t give you specific advice, and I meant it. However, if you want my two cents on the matter, it’s this: Give Gus a chance. You’ve already developed a relationship with him, a good one by the sounds of it. You’d be doing him a disservice to assume certain truths about him. Before you judge, give him a chance to explain. He might have reasons for keeping secrets from you.”
“You’re right.” I exhaled a long sigh that released a huge wave of tension off my chest. “I must’ve just let the stress of the moment get to me. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“It’s easy to do.” X smiled. “Speaking of not thinking clearly, this second glass of wine has gone straight to my head. I don’t indulge much, but this felt like a special occasion.”
I could only manage a shy glance up through my lashes, but when my gaze landed on his it caught hold. His black eyes sparkled in a mesmerizing dance, and a slight pinkish tinge made his naturally tan skin glow in a vibrant array of colors. When his lips quirked up in a wide grin, I realized he might have a little buzz going. When he continued grinning, I knew he had a buzz.
Laughing, I shook my head. “You’re a little tipsy!”
“It doesn’t happen often, so take a picture.” He winked, leaning forward and dropping his voice to a whisper. “And don’t you dare tell anyone because if they saw me like this, I’d never hear the end of it.”
I zipped my lips. “I’ll never tell a soul.”
“You look beautiful tonight,” he said, his voice a bit raspy. “You look...I wish…” He sat back in his chair, letting out a pained groan.
I gave a reluctant shake of my head. “Don’t say anything you’ll regret. You’re two glasses of wine in, and I will remember everything tomorrow.”
“I wish this had started out as a date tonight,” he said firmly. “A real date. Where I picked you up, took you someplace nice, and held your hand. This feels too much like an accident.”