Chapter 9
Five minutes and a lot of pink glitter later, a witch who looked nothing like the beautiful Glinda from the Wizard of Oz had set up shop in the middle of the conference room.
This witch looked like she’d gone out and had a good time at Mardi Gras last night. Smudges of mascara lined her eyes, while her weathered face gave off the impression of a long, hard-earned life. She wore a dress that looked sort of like Peter Pan had fought a tutu. Pink tatters of cloth flapped around her waist in a bedraggled skirt and fluttered about as she pulled out a crystal ball. The woman herself stood no taller than four feet high, and her body was made of rolls and curves and sassiness.
“So, who’re we talkin’ to?” She chomped some gum, and strangely reminded me of an attraction from the New Jersey boardwalk. She looked to Ranger X and stuck a hand on her hip, but he nodded toward me. She whirled in my direction. “You gonna speak, chickie? I don’t got all day.”
She did some snapping with her fingers, and I jumped to attention.
“Uh...his name’s Gus?” I spoke extra loud, competing with the jangling bells dangling from her fingers.
“You sure about that?” she snapped.
“Yes?”
“Then why you askin’ me a question, sweetheart?” Glinda put something that looked like a crystal sphere on the table and waved one hand over it like she might a magic eight ball. “Gus who?”
“Gus… of the bungalow?”
“Sound a little confident. I know you’re new here and all, but ain’t you supposed to be the Mixologist?” Glinda closed her eyes. When I didn’t respond right away, she peeked underneath one eyelid. “Cat got your tongue?”
Startled, I shook my head. “Sorry, I thought you were concentrating. I am the Mixologist.”
“I can multi-task,” Glinda said. “Now tell me about this Gus.”
I looked to Ranger X, but he looked mildly amused more than anything else. “Uh, he’s medium-old, really crabby most of the time, and spends the majority of his time in the storeroom over at the bungalow.”
“Good,” Glinda said. “Except I sense you’re lying about something.”
My heart raced. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to lie. I don’t even know what I was lying about?”
“Let me tell you. If it’s the Gus I know, then he’s super-duper-ancient, old as dust, really. He’s crabby on a good day and vicious on a bad day, and he spends so much time in that storeroom I think he might’ve smoked too much of the fun weeds, if you know what I’m saying.”
I covered my mouth, but couldn’t help snorting at her description. When I pulled myself together, I caught the slight glimmer of satisfaction in her eye. “If you knew who Gus was already, why’d you ask me?”
“Just curious what you thought of him. Everyone knows Gus. He helped make a Pimple Popper that changed my life.”
I laughed again, surprised at how much I enjoyed the company of the strange, old witch. “You’re funny.”
“Not funny, I just speak the truth, sweetheart.” Glinda laid her fingers on top of the crystal ball and closed her eyes again, this time for a longer moment. The silliness disappeared, and her forehead crinkled and twitched in concentration. “Okay, I need a few minutes now. I sent the signal out.”
“How does that work?” I asked, taking a hesitant step forward.
“You’re from the mainland I hear, yeah?” She looked at me, waiting for an answer. When I nodded, she mimicked the gesture. “That’s what I thought. Another reason why I wanted to meet ya. I’m from there too. New York.”
“New York? Wow! I’ve never been.”
She shrugged. “Fine, I’m from Jersey. But it sounds better to say New York, and most of these munchkins don’t know the difference anyway. You’re the first person in years who’s called my bluff.”
I slid a sideways glance over at Ranger X to see how he liked being called a munchkin.
“He’s my munchkin, aren’t ya?” Glinda reached over to pinch Ranger X’s cheek, but the man was faster. He was on his feet with Glinda’s wrist in his hand before anyone could say Hocus Pocus. The threatening gesture didn’t scare Glinda. She leaned forward, winked, and cooed at him. “There’s my little munchkin.”
“I’ll turn you into toad droppings,” Ranger X said. “I’ve told you that before, and I’ll say it again.”
“He’s sensitive.” Glinda winked over her shoulder at me, even while she was still captive in Ranger X’s grasp. Their bodies were close. Too close. I worried X might snap her right in half. “It’s okay though. I think he’s just being extra manly because he’s got a crush on you and he wants to show off them muscles.”