pressed on. "You're an award-winning novelist. Your work is already being taught in
schools. You've been called the most gifted storyteller of your generation."
He seemed wary of all this praise. "So?"
"So why go to California and let them tell you what to write?"
The light in his eyes dimmed. "I don't have a choice."
Amanda gripped his shoulder. "Jack, you do have a choice. And you can't think that
writing for the movies will make everything perfect, because it won't!"
Her mother's raised voice caused Lou to slowly turn and stare at her parents.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," said Jack. "I really appreciate it, Amanda. Especially
now. You know this isn't easy for me."
"That's not what I meant. If you'd only think about—"
Lou suddenly hunched forward, one arm grazing her father's shoulder even as her mother
retreated. Lou's smile was big but obviously forced. "I think California will be great,
Dad."
Jack grinned and gave Lou a tap on the hand. Amanda could sense Lou's soul leaping to
this slight praise. She knew that Jack failed to realize the hold he commanded over his
little girl; how everything she did was weighed against whether it would please him
enough. And that scared Amanda.
"Jack, California is not the answer, it's just not. You have to understand that," said
Amanda. "You won't be happy."
His expression was pained. "I'm tired of wonderful reviews and awards for my shelf, and
then not even making enough money to support my family. All my family." He glanced at
Lou, and there appeared on his features an emotion that Amanda interpreted as shame.
She wanted to lean across and hold him, tell him that he was the most wonderful man she
had ever known. But she had told him that before, and they were still going to California.
"I can go back to teaching. That'll give you the freedom to write. Long after we're all
gone, people will still be reading Jack Cardinal."
"I'd like to go somewhere and be appreciated while I'm still alive."
"You are appreciated. Or don't we count?"
Jack looked surprised, a writer betrayed by his own words. "Amanda, I didn't mean that.
I'm sorry."
Lou reached for her notebook. "Dad, I finished the story I was telling you about."
Jack's gaze held on Amanda. "Lou, your mother and I are talking."
Amanda had been thinking about this for weeks, ever since he had told her of plans for a
new life writing screenplays amid the sunshine and palm trees of California, for
considerable sums of money. She felt he would be tarnishing his skills by putting into
words the visions of others, substituting stories from his soul with those that would earn
the most dollars.
"Why don't we move to Virginia?" she said, and then Amanda held her breath.
Jack's fingers tightened around the steering wheel. Outside there were no other cars, no
lights other than the Zephyr's. The sky was a long reef of suspect haze, no punctures of
stars to guide them. They could have been driving over a flat, blue ocean, up and down
exactly alike. One's mind could easily be tricked by such a conspiracy of heavens and
earth.
"What's in Virginia?" His tone was very cautious.
Amanda clutched his arm in her growing frustration. "Your grandmother! The farm in the
mountains. The setting for all those beautiful novels. You've written about it all your life
and you've never been back. The children have never even met Louisa. My God, I've
never met Louisa. Don't you think it's finally time?"
His mother's raised voice startled Oz awake. Lou's hand went out to him, covering his
slight chest, transferring calm from her to him. It was an automatic thing now for Lou, for
Amanda was not the only protector Oz had.
Jack stared ahead, clearly annoyed by this conversation. "If things work out like I'm
planning, she'll come and live with us. We'll take care of her. Louisa can't stay up there at
her age." He added grimly, "It's too hard a life."
Amanda shook her head. "Louisa will never leave the mountain. I only know her through
the letters and what you've told me, but even I know that."
"Well, you can't always live in the past. And we're going to California. We will be happy
there."
"Jack, you can't really believe that. You can't!"
Lou once more rocked forward. She was all elbows, neck, knees—slender limbs
seemingly growing before her parents' eyes.
"Dad, don't you want to hear about my story?"
Amanda put a hand on Lou's arm even as she gazed at a frightened Oz and tried to give
him a reassuring smile, though reassurance was the last thing she was feeling. Now was
clearly not the time for this discussion. "Lou, wait a minute, honey. Jack, we can talk