“Not now, not now! Go away, please… Please leave me alone…” she sobbed.
“Kat?” Bass was in front of her, his hands lifting her upright. “You can’t change here, Kat. Come with me.”
She pulled away. “No! I don’t want to! I don’t want this. Make it stop. Please, just make her go away.”
She hated the pity that filled his eyes. She hated herself. Katalina wasn’t ready to accept her wolf. She already had so much to come to terms with. There wasn’t room for anything more.
“Katalina, you cannot keep denying who you are.”
Katalina bit her lip and closed her eyes. She was so close to changing. She forced it back with all that she had. Her knees gave out, but Bass never let her fall. When she finally controlled her wolf, she was gasping for breath, soaked with sweat. She slumped against Bass completely exhausted.
“Will you still love me if I never change again?” she whispered.
“I love every part of you, Katalina. Why don’t you?”
Because it’s her fault. If she wasn’t a part of me, none of this would have ever happened.
She couldn’t say the answer out loud, maybe because she knew once she’d voiced it, she’d have to admit it wasn’t her wolf’s fault, but she had to blame someone; she had to channel her anger somewhere.
“Your grandmother is in your parents’ room. She seems pretty upset, Kat. I think you should talk to her.”
“I don’t know what to say, Bass. It’s not her fault. I know. I’m just not ready for any of this.”
He tipped her chin up. “Katalina, would you have ever been ready for this?”
“Will you wait for me?” she asked, walking away from him into the house.
“Always.” His soft voice wrapped around her like a shield. She could face this as long as she had him.
Here goes nothing! Time to make things right. “Knock, Knock,” Katalina said, hoping to lighten the mood. Pushing the door open, she sucked in a ragged breath at the sight before her, trying to keep herself together. The room was full of boxes. The closet stood open, bare inside; her mother’s things had been packed away; jewelry, lotions, knickknacks, everything that made this room her parents’, gone.
“I know it’s a shock. I’ve just been packing nonstop. I thought if I didn’t stop to really think about it, then it would never hit me.”
Katalina smiled sadly, taking a seat on the end of the bed. “I’m sorry for before. I’m not sure how to cope with all of this, seeing everything of theirs, of my home being packed into boxes. How is it ever going to be okay?”
Her grandmother sighed heavily. “It’s not, Kat. I could have left everything as it was for years and it still wouldn’t have been okay when I packed up their things. I don’t want to do this, Kat, but I have no choice. The longer the house isn’t sold, the less money you’ll have to go to college with.”
“College…I can’t even think past today. How do I decide what I should be doing next year?”
“Kat, you don’t have to decide anything now. Take a year off if you need to. Heaven knows you’ve been through hell. I’d be surprised if you figure out your next move any time soon, and that’s okay, Kat. It’s okay to feel lost and angry. Just don’t let it be all you feel. Grief is a strange thing and it affects everyone differently. Give yourself time.”
Katalina nodded. She looked around the room, each box tearing another piece of her heart.
“I’m going to trust you here with, Sebastian. I’m not sure where he fits in with all that’s happened, but I can see he cares for you, and he seems to be the only thing keeping you from breaking. Please be careful, Kat. I couldn’t bear to lose you, too.”
“I will, don’t worry.” Katalina stood to leave; she’d had all she could take in her parents’ room, which wasn’t their room anymore.
“Oh, Kat?”
“Hmm?”
“That box there by the door, it’s for you. I’ve put your mother’s most treasured things in there. Well, apart from you anyway,” she said with a smile. “She loved you more than anything. You know that, right?”
“Yes.”
Katalina deposited the box in her room, ready for the day she could open it. She found Bass outside where she’d left him. He turned at the sound of her approach. The smile he gifted her filled her with joy, and for just a second, she felt nothing but happiness.
“Can we go for a walk?”
“Sure.”
Katalina threaded her arm through his waiting arm, leaning her head on his shoulder as they walked down the drive.