Because Armando got jealous and said he wanted her. He kissed her like she’d never been kissed before, and probably never would be again. He let her pretend for a moment that a woman like her could be a princess, and now she was sitting at a wedding angry at her own foolishness.
“I told you,” she said. “It’s complicated.”
“I bet. Complicated is why I’m glad I’m single. Come on.” He stood up and held out his hand. “Let’s fox-trot.”
Rosa shook her head. “I don’t think...”
“You really want to sit here looking like a sad chipmunk all night, or do you want him to see you enjoying yourself next time he looks in your direction?”
Rosa looked over to see Mona place a proprietary hand on Armando’s arm. The woman certainly didn’t waste time marking her territory. “There’s a good chance I’ll step on your toes.”
“Good, that makes two of us.”
Darius, it turned out, was a worse dancer than she was. By the second song, they were both laughing over how much they were tripping up the other. Rosa had to admit, it felt good to make mistakes and laugh about them. Made her forget her heartache for a little while.
That was, until a familiar hand tapped Darius on the shoulder. “May I?” Armando asked. His eyes, as well as his request, were directed at her.
Rosa could feel Darius tightening his grip in an effort to protect her. “It’s all right,” she told him. Actually, it was probably a mistake, but the chance to be in Armando’s arms was too great a temptation to pass up.
“You two seem to be enjoying yourselves,” Armando said when she stepped into his arms. “I’m sorry I had to interrupt.” Rosa bristled at his barely disguised jealousy. What made him think he had any right?
“Isn’t that the point of a wedding? To enjoy yourself?”
“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” he replied. He twirled their bodies toward a far end of the dance floor. “That’s a lie. I meant it exactly as it sounded. It killed me to see you in his arms.”
“Really? Because watching you with Mona is a picnic.”
Her jab hit its mark, because he immediately winced. “You’re right. I have no business saying anything, and I’m sorry.”
“So am I,” she replied. If these were to be the only moments Armando held her, she didn’t want to waste them fighting. It was because the position reminded her too much of last night, and the memories were too raw to handle politely. She ached for him to close the distance between their bodies. A few inches, that was all. Enough for her to rest her head on his shoulder and pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist.
Instead, the song ended. She started to step away, but Armando tightened his grip on her waist. “One more dance,” he said. “There’s something I need to say.”
“Armando...” He was going to talk about Mona and obligations and all the other topics she wanted to forget.
“Please, Rosa.”
Whatever made her think she had a chance? Letting out a breath, she relaxed into his touch. “You know I can never say no to you.”
“I know,” he replied.
While he spoke, his gaze traced a line along her cheek, performing the caress he couldn’t do by hand. Rosa’s insides cried for the touch.
They danced in silence for what felt like forever. Finally, just when she was ready to say something, Armando spoke. “Do you know what I did last night?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I counted the lights I could see from my bedroom window. Seven hundred fourteen. In that one patch of space. Do you know how many there are in the entire country? One point two million.”
“Oh, ’Mando.” She knew where this was going.
“Never have I resented so many lights,” he said, gazing past her.
“That’s not true. You don’t resent them,” she replied. “You love them.”
Still looking past her shoulder, Armando sighed. “You’re right. I wish I did hate them, though. I wish I didn’t care what happened to any of them.”
He pulled his gaze back to her, and she saw that the perpetual melancholy that clouded his eyes was twice as thick. “I do, though. Dammit, I do.”
“I’m glad.” Yes, a selfish part of her wanted him not to care, but it was Armando’s love for his people that made him who he was.
“She wants to improve medical care. Mona. That’s what she wants to do when we’re married. Improve medical care in both countries. There will be thousands more candles to look after.”
She could feel the responsibility pushing down upon him. Suddenly Rosa understood. He was backed into a corner. Choose duty and save lives. Choose for himself and fail two countries. Whatever anger she might still have began to fade. “You’re doing the right thing,” she told him. Like he always did. The responsible young boy who looked out for his sister on a bigger scale. “Corinthia—and Yelgiers—are lucky to have a leader who cares so much.”
“Perhaps.” He didn’t look convinced. He looked...sad. “I had no right to kiss you, Rosa. It was wrong.”
“Don’t say that.”
“But it’s true. I knew I had obligations, and yet, like a selfish bastard, I went after what I wanted anyway. Who knows what would have happened if Vittorio hadn’t interrupted us?”
They both knew what would have happened.
“How does that make me any different than Fredo?” he asked.
His self-loathing had gone too far. Halting her steps, she touched her fingers to his lips to silence him. “You are nothing like Fredo.”
He smiled and kissed her fingertips. “Aren’t I, though? You deserve better.”
Except there wasn’t anyone better. If the feelings in her heart were to be believed, there never would be. “In case you didn’t notice, there were two people kissing,” she told him. “We both ignored our common sense.”
Armando shook his head. “Dear, sweet Rosa. You still won’t admit you are a victim.”
“Because I’m not a victim.” Not this time. “Last night, you made me feel more special in five minutes than I had ever felt in my entire life. I would trade all the common sense in the world for that.”
“If I could, I would make you feel special every day. You deserve nothing less.”
“Neither do you.”
He smiled sadly. “But apparently I do.”
The song ended, but they had stopped dancing long ago in favor of standing in each other’s arms. Rosa’s first assessment was right—it was much too similar to last night’s embrace. When Armando’s eyes dropped to her mouth, common sense was again poised to disappear.
“I love you, Rosa. I’m sorry I didn’t come to my senses sooner.”
He pulled away, leaving her to shudder from the withdrawal. She was still in a daze. Did he say he loved her? Loved?
The sound of a spoon against crystal rang across the ballroom. King Carlos had stepped up to the front of the room.
“Ladies and gentlemen, might I have your attention?” Instantly, the ballroom went silent.
“Arianna asked me to refrain from formal toasts and speeches during last evening’s dinner, and as you all know, while I rule Corinthia, she rules me.” Low laughter rippled through the crowd. Rosa sneaked a look at Armando and saw he hadn’t cracked a smile. “However, I cannot let this evening end without saying a few words, not as your king, but as a father.”
The king’s smile softened. “This family has seen its share of loss over the past few years. My wife. Princess Christina.” At the sound of her sister’s name, Rosa looked to the floor.
“But now, as I look at the faces around the room and I see the smile on my daughter’s beautiful face, my heart is filled with so much hope. Hope for new beginnings. Hope for the next generation, and the generations of Santoros to come. I’ve never been prouder of my children. Just as I am proud of my newest son, Maxwell. I hope also to add a new daughter soon as well.” Everyone but she and Armando looked in Mona’s direction. Armando kept his attention on his father, while Rosa lifted her eyes to watch Armando.
“I am getting older,” the king continued. “Older and tired. There may come a day in the future when I decide to step down.”
A gasp could be heard in the crowd. King Carlos held up a hand. “No need to be upset. I’m not worried. Because I see the people who will be taking my place, and I couldn’t be more pleased.”
The rest of his toast was a flurry of well wishes for Arianna and Max. At least that was what she assumed. Armando had turned to her, and she found herself transfixed by his blue stare. I’m sorry, his eyes were saying. I have no choice.
All Rosa could hear were the words she’d convinced herself he wasn’t going to say. I love you. A lifetime and she wouldn’t hear three more beautiful words.
She loved him, too.
What was she going to do come Monday? And the Monday after that? What about when Armando announced his engagement? Knowing he loved her might sound wonderful today, but how was she going to face him day in and day out when he belonged to someone else?
Simple answer was, she couldn’t. Not without the self-esteem she’d worked so hard to rebuild crumbling into pieces again.