What? She swayed. Rone reached out and held her securely. “Ilyenna?”
“I . . . I . . .” Closing her eyes, she tried to think. Was he really saying what she thought he was? “You regret that night . . . because of the shame it brought upon me?”
His brows gathered. “Why else would I have said . . .” His eyes suddenly widened with understanding. “Oh, Ilyenna, sometimes I think you’re dense on purpose.”
She punched his arm. It was as an automatic reaction left over from their childhood. “I didn’t know!”
To her exasperation, he didn’t even flinch. “I told you I loved you,” he said. “Could you really forget that quickly?”
She covered her mouth with her hand. “I thought you meant you loved me as a brother might. And in the moment . . .” She stomped her foot as he frowned at her. “We both thought we were going to die that night! I just thought that you were trying to—to—”
“To allow you to give away your first time, instead of letting it be taken from you?” Rone finished for her.
Blushing furiously, she looked away.
He took her hand. “Hey, it’s all right. It was my first time too.” He sighed. “And maybe you’re right. Being together for our first times was part of my motivation.”
“Then . . . why regret it?”
He clenched his eyes shut and backed away. “I regret the danger I placed you in. The selfish way I acted. The weakness I demonstrated. The shame I caused you.” He studied her. “What do you think Darrien would do if he found out what you did—with me?”
Her hand moved protectively to her belly. Darrien would know soon enough. They all would. “The Council won’t tolerate Undon’s reparation. They can’t.”
“Even if they don’t, if anyone finds out, you’ll lose your chances for marriage, your title.” Rone’s voice dropped down so low she could barely hear him. “And I put all those risks on you, the woman I love.”
Ilyenna was speechless. She could only stare at him. “We didn’t think we’d live to see the morning.”
He hooked his thumbs over his clan belt. “But we did.”
She let herself absorb this news, let it chase away weeks’ worth of misunderstandings. Still, she couldn’t quite believe it.
Rone sighed. “You shouldn’t love me back.”
Her smile wilted. “Why?”
He took a deep breath. “You shouldn’t love a man who can’t protect you. All those years ago, if I’d have let you come hunting with us, or at the very least taken you home, you wouldn’t have nearly drowned.”
Ilyenna shook her head. “No. If it was anyone’s fault, it was mine. I followed you. I chose to cross the river where I did, knowing full well that it wasn’t where we’d crossed before.”
He stared at her in disbelief. “All this time, you’ve blamed yourself too?”
She listened to the sound of the waves scraping unseen across the shore. “Rone, you saved my life.”
He pressed his back to the boulder and slid down to sit on the ground. “I shouldn’t have had to. I knew that trail was the only safe place to cross. I should’ve made sure you took it. And then your mother died trying to nurse you back to health.”
Ilyenna sat down next to him, taking his hand in hers. “We were children.”
“But I knew better. After all that, I failed to keep you safe from Darrien.” His face darkened. “But I won’t fail you again. Darrien will never lay another hand on you. I swear by—”
She pressed her hand over Rone’s mouth. “You’ve never failed me. Never. You fed me from your own portions, saved me, tended me, took unnecessary risks . . . Rone, you’ve done nothing but show me love.”
She thought she saw the first flicker of forgiveness in his eyes—forgiveness for himself. Being here with him like this, she’d never felt more complete. Since her childhood, she’d been told men and women were opposite ends of the Balance. When they came together, they created a perfect circle—the Link. She now understood what they meant. With Rone, she was complete. Whole. She leaned forward, her lips inches from his. “So, you really love me? More than as a sister?”
He chuckled dryly. “Brothers and sisters don’t do the things we did.”
Her insides squirmed deliciously.
“How could you doubt it?” He stroked her cheek.
The way her cheeks felt, it must have been a long time since she’d smiled this broadly. She covered her mouth.
Rone pulled her hands away. “By the Balance, I’ve missed your smile.” He pressed his lips to hers. His kisses seemed to awaken a juxtaposition inside her, a delicious pain, like sweet, sour strawberries. His nearness, his love, left her stomach feeling squirmy and exhilarated—like when Rone and Bratton had dared her to jump from the topmost branch to a haystack below. All wrapped up in one overwhelming, wonderful pain—a hungering need for him.
As before, his kisses were gentle yet hungry. He pulled off the knot holding her hair back and gently unwound her braid. He ran his fingers through her hair. She shivered. Her mouth against his, she smiled and pulled him down with her. She felt her hair flaring around her. Felt his weight on her chest.
She reached up and started to undo his clan belt. Breathless, Rone grabbed her arms and held them down. He hovered above her for a moment, his face a myriad of emotions. “No. Not again.” His voice was so low she could barely hear him. “I won’t do this to you again.”
“What if I want you to do this to me again?” Ilyenna murmured.
His brows drew down. “Then I’ll love you more than you love yourself.”
She grunted. Their shame, as he called it, would be perfectly obvious to everyone in a few months. But she couldn’t seem to tell Rone about the baby. She’d just found his love again, and she wasn’t ready to test it just yet.
Still, she wanted to argue with him, to demand. But it wouldn’t do any good. When Rone had that stubborn look about him, she’d be better off to threaten the grasshoppers not to eat her garden.
“You can braid your hair on the way back.” He started up the boulder. “Come on. The Council will be meeting soon. We’ve been gone long enough.”
She stepped into the chiseled chink in the rock and took his hand. He loved her. He loved her, and everything would be all right.
20. The Council
“Where’ve you two been?” Varris huffed, her skirts gripped in her hands, sweat plastering her forehead. She bent down to the boy beside her and sent him off to fetch Ressa. Blowing a stray strand of hair out of her eyes, she grabbed Ilyenna’s hand. “The last clan chief arrived just after you left. The Council might’ve already convened!”
Rone’s dangerous look returned. Ilyenna had a sudden suspicion there was something he wasn’t telling her—something bad. “Go,” she prodded him. “We’ll catch up.” With a grateful nod, he took off at a sprint.
Her hand in Varris’s vice-like grip, Ilyenna hustled toward the weathered houses beyond the city wall. She entered the village for the first time since they’d arrived. Grudgingly, she admitted it wasn’t as bad as she’d thought. Rose bushes bloomed everywhere, masking the smell coming from the drying racks down by the docks.
Neatly ordered gardens resided on the west side of each house. Hanging from fishing lines, gorgeous, polished shells tinkled whenever the wind blew. Larger, conical shells lined the sides of the houses. The women wore a variety of pearls and shells around their necks or in their hair. They smiled kindly at Ilyenna as she passed.
At least until they saw Ressa storming toward them. Then they seemed to melt into side streets or houses. The clan mistress had the same look on her face as a dog herding a particularly difficult sheep. “Where’ve you been? I told you not to leave camp!”
Ilyenna bit the inside of her cheek. “I was safe. Rone was with me.”
Taking Ilyenna’s other arm as if afraid she might disappear again, Ressa started hauling her toward the clanhouse. “You . . . what? Why?” she asked, narrowing her eyes.
“How is that any of your business?” Ilyenna muttered.
“I suppose it isn’t,” Ressa said coldly.
Wishing she’d held her tongue, Ilyenna grimaced at the feel of Ressa’s nails biting into her skin. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You’ve been nothing but kind to me.”
They arrived at the clanhouse, but Ressa didn’t release her arm. “We’ve no time for this. The meeting started moments ago. Unless I’ve missed something else, all that’s happened is Rone and Otec being restored as rightful clan chiefs. As if there was any doubt.” She pulled Ilyenna past the two men posted at the door, released her, and moved into the shadowy room.
Her father and Rone. Hope lightened Ilyenna’s heart.
Still, she hesitated in the doorway. She suddenly didn’t want to hear the Council’s verdict. Right now, she was safe, well-fed, clothed, and cared for. Her injuries were healing, and no one was threatening to add new ones. That could all change on the Council’s whim. But refusing to listen wouldn’t stop the decision from being made. Much as she wanted to run, Ilyenna knew that held no answers either. If she had to face this, she would face it as Rone had—courageously.