Ilyenna wanted to argue, to stay and figure this out, but she was so exhausted she could barely keep her head up. Was this what pregnancy was like? Ressa helped her to her feet and steered her toward the tent. People had been leading her around like a little child a lot lately. But right now, she didn’t have the energy to care.
***
Ilyenna woke with a groan and sat up, her hand over her mouth. She swallowed several times, trying to decide whether she needed to run from the tent to empty her stomach. As a healer, she knew food should settle her nausea, though she couldn’t see how. She crawled to a basket by the door, opened the lid, and pulled out a piece of yesterday’s bread. She nibbled on the crust.
Varris eased quietly in and smiled. “Glad to see you’re finally up.” She went to her sleeping pallet and started searching through her knapsack.
“What’s the time?” Ilyenna asked, her voice still thick with sleep.
Varris held a blanket up, shook her head, and rummaged around some more. “After midday.”
Ilyenna started out of a stretch and rolled to her knees. Then she realized she was still in Varris’s best underdress. “Would you mind fetching the other dress you gave me? It was drying outside”
Varris paused, another blanket in her hands. She glanced at Ilyenna before quickly looking away. “Keep that one for now.”
“No, no,” Ilyenna said. “This is your best one.”
Varris smiled gently. “I know, Ilyenna.” She hesitated. “The last of the clan chiefs is due today. They’re meeting about the Tyrans as soon as he arrives.”
Ilyenna’s fate would be decided by nightfall. Suddenly, she couldn’t move, could hardly breathe.
Varris set down a blanket and came to kneel behind Ilyenna. Deftly, she unbraided Ilyenna’s hair, shook it out, and set to rebraiding it tightly.
“What if they send me back?” Ilyenna asked in horror.
Varris’s quick fingers slowed. “I don’t think it’ll come to that.”
“But what if it does?”
Varris tied off the end of the braid with a sheepskin cord. “It won’t. That would start a war.”
Her heart seizing onto that hope, Ilyenna gripped Varris’s hand. “You’re sure?”
Glancing at the tent flap as if worried her mother might hear, Varris leaned in and whispered, “The clans are in an uproar over what Undon has done. And they’re furious the Shyle couldn’t come to the feast.” She nodded toward the blanket she’d been searching for. “The lack of Shyle blankets to trade for is an upsetting reminder.”
Ilyenna really looked at the blanket in Varris’s hand. Shyle wool, no doubt woven by a Shyle woman. “You’re going to sell it?”
Varris smiled shyly. “I’ve a dozen more at home. The price this one will fetch should more than buy the things you need. Then you won’t always feel beholden to others.”
Ilyenna swallowed her tears. “Thank you,” she finally managed.
Varris gathered up the blanket. “You’re welcome. Now, come eat with us. You’re still such a dreadfully skinny thing.”
Ilyenna didn’t even think to protest. At least until she saw what looked like rocks floating in the stew pot. “What are those?”
Varris glanced into the pot and smiled. “Clams. The Carden cook them in their shells and pull them out with their fingers. Mother traded for them this morning.”
Ilyenna crinkled her nose. “I don’t think—”
“Just eat,” Varris said with a laugh, then filled a bowl and handed it to Ilyenna.
Ilyenna sniffed dubiously, but her stomach was roaring for food. Finally, she gave in. By the fifth bite, she’d decided the stew wasn’t too bad. Not nearly as good as mutton stew, but not bad. As she ate, she noted the Riesen had been busily trading. Sacks of rye, rye flour, and whiskey had been replaced with barrels of salt cod, wheat flour, beer, crates of linen, and numerous other supplies.
As she was studying the wagons, Rone came to sit beside her. He didn’t speak. Watching him as she pried a clam free of its shell, she noticed his tense movements, shallow breathing, and the moisture at his brow. “Are you ill?” she asked.
He barked a harsh, humorless laugh. “I—” he paused “—I always get this way before a battle.”
Ilyenna tossed the last shell onto a large pile by the pot, no doubt being collected to scrape the hair off hides. “Battle? You mean the meeting with the Council?”
He really looked at her, and for a moment, he was the old Rone, the carefree, gentle boy she’d always loved. “Yes. I mean the Council.” He took her hand, pulling her to her feet. “Come with me.”
Ressa would be angry if she knew Ilyenna was leaving the safety of the camp, but she didn’t care. Rone had her hand in his. For the first time in days, he wanted to be with her. She wanted to savor this moment, draw it into herself and keep it safe in her memory. Breathless, she allowed him to lead her through the clustered camps, away from the people.
He took her down a path similar to the one she’d traveled yesterday. Roses as tall as she lined the trail, their branches sagging with the weight of the blooms. Their strong scent made her dizzy. Rone paused at the side of a ragged boulder, stuck his foot into a chink in the rock, and hauled himself up. One more step and he reached the top, then lay down and reached for her. “Come up. I’ll help you.”
Hiking up her dress rather indecently, she managed to find the first foothold. From there, Rone took her hand and heaved her up beside him as easily as if she were a child.
Ilyenna glanced down at the other side of the boulder. The forest of roses was kept back by a flat expanse of rock. Dozens of fairies with rose-petal wings circled the flowers, coaxing the buds open and filling the air with their heavy scent. The aroma overcame the smells of the village—smoke and fish—yet there was still the taste of salt in the air.
Without pausing, Rone dropped down and looked up at her. “Jump down. I’ll catch you.”
For the first time, Ilyenna wondered as to his reasons for bringing her here. She looked back to the village with its cluster of tents spilling from the wall’s entrance. She could still go back.
“Ilyenna?”
She sighed. She couldn’t deny him, any more than she could deny herself water. She dropped into his arms. He held her aloft before gently sliding her down his chest to the ground.
Her heart raced, her senses suddenly full of only him. “How did you find this place?” she asked breathlessly.
He grinned his boyish, mischievous grin. “Last night, during the feasting, I happened to be walking back from the ocean when I saw a couple climb this rock and disappear. I checked it out this morning.”
At the thought, old hurts rose within her. “A couple? So why bring me here?”
Rone released her and stepped back, but the roses walled them in like a fortress. He only had room to take two steps before they brushed against his back. “I wanted to speak with you.”
Ilyenna raised an eyebrow. “And you couldn’t have done that at camp?”
He looked away. “Not without the risk of someone overhearing us.” He seemed to be battling with himself. “I need to make things right between us. In case . . . well, in case things turn out badly.”
She turned from him, her fingers tracing the footholds she now saw someone had chiseled into the sides of the boulder. She wondered how many Cardens had used this spot for their trysts. “You mean in case we’re not released as tiams?” Rone didn’t answer. She turned around, her arms crossed over her chest. “I’m not sure we can make it right.”
He threw his hands in the air. “By the Balance, Ilyenna, every time I try to talk to you about this, you flare up like a wildfire.” He seized her by the arms and hauled her up so she was standing on her tiptoes. “Well, that’s why I brought you here, so you couldn’t run away, and no one can hear you shouting at me!”
Dumbfounded, she stared at him. “All right, I won’t run away.” She was careful to keep any promises of not shouting behind her teeth.
He released her and began pacing. Two steps in one direction, two back. “I mean, I know it was wrong, but I look at you and I start remembering. I want you so badly I can barely stand it. Then I’m so ashamed of myself I can’t even bear to be in the same room with you.”
She stared at him as he pressed his palms into the boulder, his face twisted as if he was in pain. “I know it was wrong, and I’m sorry.” Rone finally looked at her, anger in his eyes. “But I wasn’t the only one there that night. I wasn’t the only one who wanted it. So will you stop blaming me and being angry at me?”
“Angry?”
He looked up at the sky. “Yes, angry! Every time I come near you, you’re so angry, I can feel it rolling off you like heat from a fire.”
She shook her head. “You—you said that you regretted it.”
He looked at her like she’d suddenly lost her senses. “Of course I regret it.”
“Then why do you keep feeding me false hope?” Ilyenna shook with rage. “If you regret it, then let me go!”
He appeared dumbfounded. “I was trying to apologize. To tell you how sorry I was, for shaming you that way.”